Last fall, NBC News "dystopia beat" reporter Ben Collins said that he was thinking of leaving journalism … writing a piece every six months was just too taxing, I guess. In April I learned that Collins had purchased satire site The Onion, which isn't that much of a stretch from reporting for NBC News.
Everyone says the same thing about The Onion — it used to be funny. I remember being on dial-up AOL service in the '90 and reading The Onion. I used to read Salon, too … it hadn't gone full progressive yet.
But politics infected The Onion, and it stopped being funny. Look at the resident of the Oval Office right now. If The Onion or "Saturday Night Live" can't find material there, there's no help for them.
Gay Patriot, who's been banned more than anyone else, is back, only to find that The Onion has blocked him.
I still can’t get over this. LOL pic.twitter.com/Jj91nml9Zd
— GayPatriot 🇺🇸 🇮🇱 🌈 (@GayPatriot) May 11, 2024
Emily Zanotti revealed Monday that she's been blocked too.
Well, guess I won’t be seeing their scintillating content any longer pic.twitter.com/vKm23lRgr6
— Emily Zanotti 🦝 (@emzanotti) May 13, 2024
I checked to see if Twitchy had been blocked by The Onion, but we won't be until after this post goes up. If you've been blocked, RedSteeze has compiled the latest Onion headlines for your amusement.
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) May 7, 2024
"Trump defies judge's order to stop pointing a loaded gun at the jury." Good one.
Here's what Gay Patriot is missing.
Fingers Too Greasy From Salami To Open Pepperoni https://t.co/4fc3bXPHxP
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 13, 2024
Crying Man Refuses To Take Boner Pills Unless They Strawberry Flavored https://t.co/8NAc0rmEXB
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 13, 2024
They don't even make sense anymore and are full of typos. Here's the Mother's Day offerings:
Mom Asks Phone What That One Thing Called https://t.co/0c1QJV0hkD
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 12, 2024
Mom Asks If You Still Friends With That One Guy Who Committed Suicide https://t.co/5p7Fha2TkX
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 12, 2024
Present For Mom Immediately Used To Make Dad Meal https://t.co/UT6HTJJKZ2
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 12, 2024
This one's pretty prescient:
Man Pretty Sure He Could Run This Company Into Ground Way Better Than Boss https://t.co/oKNVCPMEed
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 13, 2024
The one thing I've learned in writing for Twitchy for the past 12 years is that people are funny. They're way funnier than anyone in the writers' room at "SNL." And they're not doing satire; they're just responding to posts. You know who's funny? David Burge, who took a crack at Monday's offering:
New Study Finds Reading Comprehension Down Amongst Dumb Fucks Perusing This Headline https://t.co/VyryJqfyW4
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 13, 2024
I once visited my brother at ISU and we went to bar in Ames that had a comedy thing called "The Carl & Marty Show." It was two learning disabled guys who yelled gibberish for tips from fratboys. I tapped out after 30 seconds from embarrassment.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) May 13, 2024
This is the new Carl & Marty Show https://t.co/eD9RFG6Mva
You won’t convince me the onion isn’t just Ben Collins angrily tweeting from an alt now. https://t.co/jnH8eWj43c
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) May 13, 2024
“Not funny guys” https://t.co/ZHMq5OZrQd pic.twitter.com/YapckAunRU
— EducatëdHillbilly™ (@RobProvince) May 13, 2024
Here's The Onion's take on the war in Gaza:
Israel Accuses Al Jazeera Of Being Mouthpiece For Journalism https://t.co/X3BsoKa7Y4
— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 11, 2024
this isn't it. pic.twitter.com/pEnPox9BFX
— Galut Greg🎗️ גלות 流亡 (@ExiledIsraelite) May 13, 2024
At this point, I’m not convinced that The Onion writers are not Holocaust deniers themselves.
— Katya Sedgwick (@KatyaSedgwick) May 13, 2024
Ben is razor thin close to making Holocaust jokes… https://t.co/snqNadCRF5
— EducatëdHillbilly™ (@RobProvince) May 13, 2024
The unmatched genius of Ben Collins pic.twitter.com/AI0oz35zEn
— Bonchie (@bonchieredstate) May 13, 2024
This is what you get when you have the privilege of not being blocked. The Onion already wasn't funny … now it's even less so. Meanwhile, The Babylon Bee is killing it.
We did a post of Mary Katherine Ham reading headlines from The Onion. Here it is in case you missed it:
I am delayed at the airport, so I am reading some v. funny jokes from The Onion. pic.twitter.com/dzNoL5GNQp
— Mary Katharine Ham (@mkhammer) May 4, 2024
The Onion has become what it used to make fun of.
— Bryan Bodner (@bryansbodner) May 13, 2024
Sad indeed.
You guys aren’t… oh, what’s the technical term?
— Will Collier (@willcollier) May 13, 2024
Oh right: funny. You aren’t funny.
It's hard to define "funny," but this stuff is objectively not funny. It's embarrassing. It's not satire.
I don't know how much we can blame Collins for The Onion going from not funny to really not funny. They probably have the same staff, right?
And yes, conservatives can take satire. A funny joke about Donald Trump is a funny joke. Maybe they should hire Rep. Mike Collins:
You either die a Kennedy with a hole in the brain or live long enough to become a Kennedy with a hole in the brain.
— Rep. Mike Collins (@RepMikeCollins) May 8, 2024
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