Apple or banana? We're STILL very curious about Anderson Cooper's assistant and that tweet

As Twitchy reported earlier, CNN released a statement Wednesday explaining that geolocation tools confirmed a tweet from @AndersonCooper calling President Trump a “tool” and a “pathetic loser” wasn’t sent from Anderson Cooper’s phone.

No, you see, Cooper’s assistant — the only other person with access to his Twitter account — inadvertently left his phone unlocked and unattended at the gym, and someone took his phone and sent the tweet.

Yeah, right.

People weren’t believing it then, and the more they think about it, the less sense it makes.

So Anderson Cooper's assistant suffered the following calamity: Someone at the gym broke into his/her locker; figured out his/her password; logged into Cooper's Twitter; Tweeted a single Tweet from Cooper's account; then replaced the phone in the locker and closed it back up.

— Kyle Smith (@rkylesmith) December 13, 2017

Does Cooper buy that story? Or is that the cover agreed upon so he doesn't have to fire his assistant?

— Kyle Smith (@rkylesmith) December 13, 2017

Well … they did say the phone was unlocked and unattended. It must just have been lying there on a bench on a towel with the access code already punched in and Twitter open and logged in.

Seems legit.

— Matthew DesOrmeaux ⚜ (@authoridad) December 13, 2017

There was a second tweetman.

— Antonio Martinez (@djtechchicago) December 13, 2017

https://twitter.com/JudgeElihu/status/941075398938513414

https://twitter.com/VSourceMedia/status/941123208346030081

That sounds very plausible. But that’s not CNN’s story — they say someone took the phone while the assistant had left it unlocked and unattended. Are we dealing with an apple or a banana here?

Not to sound like Alex Jones, but why would someone temporarily steal a phone owned by Anderson Cooper’s assistant, who was in a gym in a different city than Anderson Cooper? And how would that person know it was logged in to that Twitter account?

— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) December 13, 2017

https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/941061655278039041

https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/941062570168995841

https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/941063709136424960

Are you saying it wasn't really Professor Plum in the locker room with the iPhone???

— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) December 13, 2017

https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/941109392371482624

https://twitter.com/seanmdav/status/941117568127037440

Being a social media manager, I am finding this story hysterical.

— ⚙ ???? (@Webmaster_Rags) December 13, 2017

pic.twitter.com/URVPeK1UbP

— Vinman Inc ☮️ ? (@Vinman_Inc) December 14, 2017

https://twitter.com/JamesHasson20/status/941088498802741253

All of my tweets that fall flat are the fault of a group of men who set up cameras in my assistant’s home to study his habits. Then after a series of elaborate misdirections they stole his phone, tweeted from my account, then drove away from Vegas.

— Brandon Morse (@TheBrandonMorse) December 13, 2017

Anthony Weiner just emailed me to say that @AndersonCooper's assistant left HIS phone unattended too!!!!

— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) December 13, 2017

Nobody believes this Anderson Cooper/CNN "my assistant left my phone unlocked" story, right? We all understand this is ass-covering, right?

— The Nats Won The World Series (@EsotericCD) December 13, 2017

This is a test, CNN. If you're gonna lie about something as dumb as an errant tweet from Anderson Cooper's assistant, why the fuck wouldn't you lie about more significant things?

— Gabriel Malor (@gabrielmalor) December 13, 2017

We’ll be sure to check Brian Stelter’s next email blast for the results of the follow-up investigation.

* * *

So who’s buying CNN’s explanation for the anti-Trump tweet from @AndersonCooper