Chelsea 'Christian values' Handler gets downright biblical in her take on GOP tax bill

The U.S. Senate narrowly passed the GOP tax bill early Saturday morning, and the meltdown among liberals on social media has been nothing less than astounding, with Patton Oswalt declaring, for example, “There’s no America now.”

It wasn’t surprising at all that America’s own pope, ABC News political analyst Matthew Dowd, would try to revoke the GOP’s claim of holding “Christian values,” but it was a little unsuspected coming from Chelsea Handler. On second thought, it’s a stupid argument that doesn’t mesh with reality at all, so consider this tweet not at all unsuspected:

What Republicans did last night to the poor and middle class in this country to reward huge corporations and the very wealthy is sickening. So, for all the religious beliefs you hold, rewarding the people who fund your campaigns must be somewhere in the Bible.

— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) December 2, 2017

Yeah, Chelsea, they're hand writing the verses in the margins right now https://t.co/un6ZZXhtCH

— Johnny Fuller (@ParisRagingPro) December 2, 2017

Confession time: “Where in the Bible …?” is not one of our favorite games to play, because we always end up playing against people who apparently know the Bible even less than we do. We don’t recall that passage in the Bible, but we also don’t remember anything about handing over all of your income to the government for it to distribute.

But again, maybe we just remember things differently.

The authors of the Bible would find them disgusting. Jesus cast their lot out of the temple. #WhoWouldJesusRob https://t.co/9sK5efF2bS

— Bethany Reed (@Beth0362) December 2, 2017

Maybe they missed the part in Matthew 25 when Jesus told a crowd, "I was hungry, you fed me. I was thirsty, you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, but you invited me to your house. I was naked, you clothed me. I was sick, you cared for me. Even in prison, you visited me." https://t.co/tHAs9lhZI9

— Johnny Rocha (@JGRocha) December 2, 2017

They went against the teachings of Jesus Christ – they did the opposite of his commands of love, sharing with others, and mercy.
He COMMANDS that we care for each other and the poor, especially little children. Not forced birth and let them suffer and die. https://t.co/v9T8UIyHBr

— Mandy Kilpatrick (@MandyKilpatric4) December 2, 2017

We seem to remember liberals being very serious about separation of church and state, and yet suddenly our senators are being dragged for not following the, um, teachings of Christ?

There is a special place in hell for these Republicans… https://t.co/Cz4t5QilZe

— Marcie (@marcielynn17) December 2, 2017

There are only two true beliefs "religious" folks like that have: the belief that whatever they do is right & that what anyone else does is wrong.https://t.co/MxScJkgDvK

— Ari P. (@AriPirAriP) December 2, 2017

As a widow who is raising a child with Autism – the Bible says EXACTLY what God thinks of people who do this to me. https://t.co/MU2KAfWJyx

— Sally H. (@BillNSal4ever) December 2, 2017

If this bill passes house and goes to Resigning Donnie's desk….It will legislatively kill more people than all mass shooters and a couple of wars. #ScumBagsWillBeDealtWithInTwentyEighteenElections #Avarice #Pathetic https://t.co/l3mfPsksds

— Shorsey (@jleo1953) December 2, 2017

I’m embarrassed by us Christians. https://t.co/xgP51GTZ8V

— Ann Louise Schmitt (@AnnLouiseSchmi1) December 2, 2017

We hope you enjoyed our quick sit-in with Chelsea Handler’s Bible study group.

https://twitter.com/rickchilla1966/status/937015961147801601

God you still are the worst. Read the actual bill, and the constitution while you are at it. https://t.co/ZGegV2ZyYM

— Brennan Lovell (@brennan_lovell) December 2, 2017

Chelsea you can voluntarily continue to pay the old tax rate.

Release your 2018 tax return to show that you did just that or STOP BITCHING if you are going to enjoy the spoils…. https://t.co/9MbiYe8dVO

— Nurse Patriot (@LABeachGal1) December 2, 2017