Dr. Julia Grace Patterson is from London, where kids are supposed to be wearing masks and socially distancing. Unfortunately, her son told on his classmates, saying that they weren’t wearing masks or socially distancing. Her pre-school daughter could only nod her head solemnly.
My little boy just said “some people aren’t listening Mummy. They’re not wearing masks on the bus, and they’re not socially distancing.” His sister (who follows him everywhere) just said “naughty” and nodded her head solemnly.
We should put the pre-schoolers in charge.
— Dr Julia Grace Patterson💙 (@JujuliaGrace) July 9, 2021
Time for some “my eight-year-old said” stories:
My little boy just said, "Why do people post such obviously made up stories on social media, do they think we are so gullible we can't see through it?"
His sister said "agreed" and she nodded her head solemnly.
The things kids say, hey?
— Matthew Newell (@MatthewNewell67) July 9, 2021
Then everyone clapped.
— tsar becket adams (@BecketAdams) July 10, 2021
The bus driver cheered
— Didn’t Happen of the Year Awards (@_DHOTYA) July 9, 2021
I heard a bunch of school children then surrounded the bus and started chanting "PPE, PPE,PPE"
— Callum Johnstone (@CallumJohnstone) July 9, 2021
Kid 1: Did this really happen?
Kid 2: sssh, Mum's trying to sell her masks
— SC 🌍✈️🏴🇨🇿 (@s_c513) July 9, 2021
A 1 month old said why are people spreading germs by wearing dirty masks without aseptic technique & an unborn foetus nodded solemnly and said it's because behavioural scientists use it as a form of control and unethical med professionals are flogging masks on the side. Honest. pic.twitter.com/SBxTjqRUmJ
— Bemused Backpacker (@bemusedbackpack) July 10, 2021
My friend's son said, "I propose the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum theory, which asserts that a particle is whatever it is measured to be, but that it cannot be assumed to have specific properties, or even to exist, until it is measured." Oh, how we laughed!
— Dr John Simpson PhD MBE (RGJ) Celer et Audax (@JohnSim19408099) July 9, 2021
My two year old just asked if “the mass worship of an underperforming healthcare system in an outwardly secular society was a symptom of a futile search for transcendental values”.
To which my newborn replied “Parklife!”
And then we all dissolved into tears of laughter.
— Tarzan's mother's dog (@SteveAl44757619) July 9, 2021
At twenty to four this morning I was awakened by a giant electric lizard loudly munching cabbages in the back garden. I asked him to desist and he told me, in the voice of the late, great Tommy Cooper, to mind my own business and go back to bed.
None of this happened either.
— Matthew Corrigan (@CorriganMJ) July 9, 2021
Here we go again. What is wrong with you people 🤦🏼♂️😂 pic.twitter.com/aBy4biApDh
— Tony Smalley 🏴 (@tony_smalley) July 9, 2021
I know the feeling, my 2 year old is currently googling the make up of each of the vaccines to see which will give less side effects if he chooses to get one.
🙄 Kids these days.
— 🇬🇧 Mark 🏴 (@lv_Mark_vl) July 9, 2021
Anyone would think you had an interest in a mask business.
— Martin Knight (@MartinKnight_) July 9, 2021
My little boy just said “Let’s set up a business selling masks, we can get mummy to front the business as she is a doctor. She can even use us as a marketing ploy”. His sister just said “naughty” but nodded her head solemnly.
We should put fictional pre-schoolers in charge.
— Noah Strahl (@Nostril1) July 9, 2021
I wonder what the @GMC's perspective is on a doctor identifying herself on social media explicitly as a doctor then lying to promote the purchase & use (against government advice after July 19th) of a commercial product in which the doctor has a major personal financial interest.
— Felonius Antonius (@FeloniusTony) July 9, 2021
Then the children went up and down the bus with a selection of masks, finely produced for a competitive price. Cash or credit card accepted.
— Paul (@intelli0) July 9, 2021
The other day my 7 year old granddaughter came to me with the equation for generating a negative energy field, thus bringing us one step closer to building Miguel Alcubierre's warp drive.
She and her sister then got into an argument about who's smarties were on the coffee table.
— Cedric Twang 🏴 (@JustAno34761434) July 9, 2021
Aw. My kids told me the other day that the whole way Covid has been handled borders on abuse of human rights and people should wake up to another step towards world domination by the so called elite. They're in their 30s so this is actually true.
— Nonny Nay Hard Left soft centre 😄🌹 👊 (@nayright12) July 9, 2021
— mags (@magskerr1) July 9, 2021
Of all the things that never happened, this might be the most likely thing to never have happened.
— wpgchrish (@wpgchrish) July 9, 2021
My nephew a few years ago yanked on my sleeve and I bent down so he could whisper in my ear and he said “jet fuel can’t melt steel beams”
— David (@mrhorsdusujet) July 9, 2021
My niece’s one year old daughter said, “It Is time to get back to normal mummy, I want to see people’s faces as they have been covered up since I was born”. 🤪
— Becky Argyle (@ArgyleBecky) July 10, 2021
— Lee Ogden (@stackerbo) July 10, 2021
— Dave (@deadfoolHARD) July 9, 2021
— Matt Jones (@MPJMCFC) July 9, 2021
— Carl Bullock (@carl_bullock) July 9, 2021
My unborn nephews say you should go vegan and eat as much soy products to save the environment for them. Unborn and activits, makes me proud to be their uncle
— The Borgaloo Collective (@borg_drone_420) July 10, 2021
— ÉL STÁCKN 🍆 #FREEYELLOW (@SEANSTACKN) July 9, 2021
What a heartwarming interaction that definitely happened and wasn’t made up whatsoever
— Dr. Juno Saekwa, J.D. (@Junosaekwa) July 10, 2021
My two year old daughter threw her Cheerios for no reason…
— mike nolie (@mikenolie) July 10, 2021
My daughter just asked, “Daddy if mask wearers are so scared to come out of the house – why don’t they stay at home?” Bless her. She’s only three months old and she gets it.
— Mervyn Jones (@MervJonesUK) July 9, 2021
OMG, he’s literally SHAKING! Kurt Schlichter takes the woke kid story to a WHOLE new level and makes media look even DUMBER https://t.co/i7y2KjtVz2
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) March 12, 2020