Earlier today, we brought you Senator Rand Paul's annual Festivus Report on wasteful spending. In it, the good Senator highlights how government has wasted $9 billion of our tax dollars on things like transgender monkeys and COVID relief for Post Malone.
But it wouldn't be Festivus if Paul himself didn't tweet his epic thread about how government mismanages and misspends our money.
So here we go:
I'M BACK for more #airingofgrievances, exposing waste, and generally pissing people off online.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
The fact he makes people mad about this is the best part, honestly. And some people become completely unglued when it comes to Senator Paul.
I would like to personally thank @elonmusk for buying this platform and allowing us all to say Happy #Festivus again. I mean, we could always say it. No one actually ever stopped us from saying it, but whatever.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
There have been hiccups along the way, and we haven't always agreed with what Musk has done with Twitter/X, but it was a necessary move.
At least Musk is responsive to what people say and -- for all his faults -- we finally got our edit button.
I'm kidding. The war on Christmas was REAL. It was so real that Lindsey Graham tried to send it aid money.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
He also declared war on NY over Chick-Fil-A, so this is funny and true.
You know the current war is not going well when Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham aren't even sure they want to send it money. They saw Zelensky last week, patted their pockets, and said sorry all out. It's quite the #Festivus Miracle, really.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Any time they don't spend money on wars, it's a Festivus miracle.
Speaking of Zelensky, last year I said he came to Congress dressed like he was delivering our Uber Eats order. This year I would say it was more like he was trying to sell me the next iPhone at a @TMobile store.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
He's brutal, but funny and honest.
Most of the candidates on the Republican side are against more aid, and I think that's a great step forward for our party and country. I'm skeptical about Chris Christie's plan to trade weapons for perogies, though.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Dude, perogies are delicious though.
Let me ask you a question, and you can reply with your answer: should the GOP change its nominating method to a TV reality show/game show combo? Think of it as the Battle of the Network Stars meets the Apprentice. I bet the ratings would be better than these unwatchable debates.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
We have to vote 'no' on this. Let's get back to picking sane, non-TV personality candidates, okay?
This weekend I'm traveling to see my parents, and it always reminds me that if more people than just me and @repthomasmassie had been listening to my Dad, we would be a lot better off. https://t.co/Vae4XC4pBF
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Ron Paul is, and was, also right about a lot of things. Maybe we should listen to the Paul family more than we do.
Kinda reminds us of Ross Perot, and how everyone thought he was weird. He was -- don't get us wrong -- but he was also correct about a lot of things.
I have a problem with @Tedcruz this year - as usual it’s about not understanding liberty. To all those who have a pet peeve against something (like smart refrigerators) — do the libertarian thing: if you don’t like them don’t buy them. https://t.co/XYQ1oHnwiX
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Hold up. What's this about?
Ah. Ted Cruz is concerned smart refrigerators may spy on you. He's got a point. But so does Paul -- don't buy it if that's your concern. The market will respond.
And on this and many things, leave the rest of us the hell alone. I’m almost out of mayo and I need my refrigerator to know that. pic.twitter.com/HcyQ13EEDe
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Exactly: leave the rest of us alone to make our own choices.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave out @justinamash. He also listened to my Dad, but then he set himself on fire after his TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) diagnosis.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Look at Paul, dropping names and calling people out.
Let's get some popcorn.
Speaking of which, when Donald Trump is elected for the second time next year, we better clear out a lot of space on planes and roads leaving the country. I expect every leftist half-wit entertainer who says they're going to leave to do so. They always tell the truth, right?
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
After they promised to leave if Bush won in 2004, or Trump in 2016, there shouldn't be many left to leave in 2024.
Oh, wait.
Nevermind.
Same with the angry leftist politicians. That is, whoever is still here after Epstein's full list is published next year.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
It'll be interesting to see who survives the publishing of that list, won't it.
And now, the coup de grace of this entire thread, the tweet that makes it all worth it:
I'm kidding, @HillaryClinton. Kid-ding. Also, I'm not suicidal and do not wish to harm myself. Thank you.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
HE WENT THERE.
And we are dying laughing.
Speaking of harm, it's time again to look at what both parties in DC are doing to your future by wasting your tax dollars.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Here's where Paul reminds us that we just have to keep funneling money to Washington, D.C., so they can do important work.
Such as:
More tax dollars down the litter box... pic.twitter.com/FLYGAjBCvm
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Cats on treadmills.
There's YouTube for that, and we don't have to spend millions.
It's high time we swing back towards fiscal sanity. pic.twitter.com/QJ7LjNKxlT
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Do you want 'Planet of the Apes'? 'Cause this is how you get 'Planet of the Apes.'
That's all for now. I'll return later with more, but for the time being, you can enjoy my Christmas playlist on Spotify. https://t.co/WotPnuE1ax
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
We checked it out and it's not too bad. Paul's got decent taste in Christmas music.
Also, you can read more about the waste report right here and I will be back in a while! https://t.co/Ul2BUwHJyJ
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
And, true to his word, he returned for more:
I’m back with more #Festivus joy! Shall we?
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
I don't know if 'joy' is the right word. Perhaps 'bemused' is better.
Years of massive spending finally caught up to us, and inflation and recession are still here.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Yes they are. As anyone who buys food, gas, or pays rent will tell you.
It’s funny because the press tries to tell us we should be happy because some number a government bureaucrat came up with says prices aren’t higher.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
All hail the bean counters!
The press has moved on from reporting to gaslighting. It’s a shame, but we know the truth every time we buy groceries and see mortgage rates or home prices. pic.twitter.com/eNI0SknQak
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
The gaslighting is so insulting.
The spending of the last few years is way beyond anything we have seen before. And they’re not done trying. We just temporarily stopped $100 billion in foreign aid to Ukraine and others.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
No, they're not done trying. And few people are standing in their way.
Paul is like Spider-Man, trying to stop the train from falling off the tracks.
If we don’t stop this and change course, we will have a massive problem on our hands. Of course as my waste report shows there is no sign of us changing course… pic.twitter.com/GbysRYNEOH
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
A massive problem if we don't turn this around soon.
🗑️ Whoopsie: Improper Federal Payments - $236,000,000,000
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
🗑️ The Government Pays Dead People … Again! - $38,000,000
🗑️ Dr. Fauci’s Transgender Monkey Study - $477,121
These are just a few more egregious examples but you can read them all! https://t.co/VGAWKvUk4L
Just insane.
But when they say they have to cut spending, they go to Medicare and Social Security first. To make it hurt.
It's a #Festivus Miracle! I found Hunter Biden’s pen name. You’re welcome @JamesComer. pic.twitter.com/kkYuRFStON
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Ouch.
#Festivus wouldn't be complete without learning more about how the First Family celebrates during the holidays.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Hoo boy.
Even though this grand holiday of #Festivus lets me air my grievances, I celebrate Christmas w/ good cheer and humor. Hopefully, you do as well. Of course if you’re offended by this I’m sure you’ll behave rationally and keep scrolling through rather than stop to complain. Right?
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Oh, you know Twitter/X. That's the entire purpose of the platform: to stop and complain.
2023 has brought a lot of tough times for many, whether job or business loss, illness, or natural disasters.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Yes, it has been tough for many.
I hope we all take some time this Holiday season to be grateful for the good in our lives, the love of our family and friends, and try to think of making our own part of the world a better place.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Good advice. Be grateful, love your family and friends, and make the world better in whatever little way you can.
For now, I leave Washington to celebrate Christmas, worried about our future but hopeful that more good men and women will keep fighting for liberty and fiscal sanity.
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Thank you, Senator, for being a voice of reason amid the maelstrom.
Happy #Festivus and have a Merry Christmas! pic.twitter.com/FJrkDwGTRW
— Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2023
Merry Christmas!
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