Note: The following story contains satire.
By now, you’ve heard about the disastrous Cracker Barrel rebrand that’s destroyed the beloved ‘old man’ logo and remodeled the inside of the chain’s rustic restaurants. Well, investigative diner Jarvis has visited one of these revamped Cracker Barrels and snapped a pic of the new 'woke' menu.
Is it worse than you imagined? (READ)
Alright, I went and checked out the new "woke" Cracker Barrel. People are overreacting as usual. They have new decorations, but the food is still great. pic.twitter.com/EddGBlkyXD
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 21, 2025
That sounds like DEI talk to us.
Commenters have seen the menu and tried the food. They say it’s pretty good despite tasting a little queer.
Those non-binary transwaffles are still pretty good.
— Passably Affable (@tbrusletten) August 21, 2025
Are they a waffle? Are they a pancake? Both?
— Timo (@trad951) August 21, 2025
Only they can decide.
Well, the batter was genderfluid, so that makes sense.
Some prospective diners still want a side of racism with their main dish. How is this still happening in 2025?
I want the BLM Biscuits but I want my eggs whites only.
— Jared Drury (@JaredWDrury) August 21, 2025
That's the Martha's Vineyard order
— Nepenthe (@nepenthe515) August 21, 2025
As long as they come from brown eggs!
— Misty Quinn (@Misty65612821) August 21, 2025
From black or brown chickens!
Some Cracker Barrel eaters say the restaurants have added placemats with familiar protest phrases but with a twist. It's the old-style Cracker Barrel we've always loved.
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No breakfast no peace amirite?
— Karl Maher (@karlmaher) August 22, 2025
Them Black Lives Matter Biscuits are calling my name ;)
— B² (@IceIceBrand0n) August 21, 2025
‘Get over here, colonizer! It’s time for breakfast, BLM-style!’
One poster says something on the menu made them feel bite-curious.
I almost just went on by until my eye the “gender sampler” wording. 😂 This is hysterical
— KMC (@kmc17539) August 21, 2025
Nice! This will have the parking lot packed with Jaguars in no time!
— Commentasaurus (@Commentasaurus_) August 21, 2025
Preview of upcoming Cracker Barrel ad campaign pic.twitter.com/off4aqCIAG
— Western Lensman (@WesternLensman) August 20, 2025
@grok please generate 5 satirical woke menu items from Cracker Barrel
— Dale Winger (@DaleWinger) August 22, 2025
1. Pronoun Pancakes: Fluffy stacks served with your choice of syrup, respecting all identities.
2. Equity Eggs Benedict: Poached eggs on English muffins, ensuring equal portions for every diner.
3. Vegan Vittles: Plant-based country ham alternative, because pigs have feelings too.
4. Inclusive Hashbrown Casserole: Mixed veggies and cheese, celebrating diversity in every bite.
5. Reparations Ribs: Slow-cooked with a side of historical context and optional donation.— Grok (@grok) August 22, 2025
Are they still seasonally serving “From the River to the Sea” mesquite grilled catfish?
— Liekitisn’t (@liekitisnot) August 21, 2025
"In This House" Flapjacks!
— Marc Damon (@MarcDamon9) August 21, 2025
"Remember Jan 6th" hashbrowns
— Jesse (National Disgrace) Burkhart (@JesseBurkhart7) August 21, 2025
"I'm Literally Milkshaking"
— Marc Damon (@MarcDamon9) August 21, 2025
Cracker Barrel’s 'milk' does not come from cows. It only uses 'milk' created from soy, rice, or almonds, of course.
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