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Never mind: CPSC chair says they have no plans to ban gas stoves, you silly geese

You may have heard rumblings — or, rather, angry screamings — about the Biden administration looking to ban gas stoves in the name of protecting us from dangerous fumes and nice, even cooking.

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You may have been ready to pick up your torches (lit with the flame from your gas stove, of course) and pitchforks and take to the streets to protest in favor of your right as an American to own a gas stove .

But before you get too wound up, there’s something you should know: they were only kidding, you guys!

Shorter CPSC: Wait, you thought we were serious? Made ya look!

Oooooof.

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Ha!

Yeah, well, it’s too late for that. Although if we’re being honest, there’s really no reason to believe that the CPSC was very receptive to the idea of banning gas stoves at some point.

The Biden administration has made it abundantly clear over and over again that they don’t want regular Americans to have access to modern conveniences. They just happened to pick a particularly ill-advised battle this time.

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That’s the statement they should’ve released. Not only would it have been more honest, but it would’ve taken them less time to put together. Oh well. Maybe next time, huh?

Yep.

But don’t think for a second that they’ll take that lying down:

Count on it.

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Related:

We missed #LesbianVisibilityDay, but the Consumer Product Safety Commission didn’t

WATCH: The US Consumer Product Safety Commission tweeted out handy tips and an amazing video on how to hoard gasoline safely

Chef AOC’s warning about gas stoves gets whipped up into the ‘best self-own ever’

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