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Premium

From Russia, Edward Snowden asks 'which corporate authoritarian sect' will win in America's elections

Remember Edward Snowden? He’s still out there, still kickin’, and still testing the limits of auto-fellation.

Seriously, the guy thinks he’s God’s gift to the world. He’s so universally beloved, he had to take refuge in Russia.

Anyway, in honor of Election Day in America, Snowden has decided to conduct a Twitter poll:

Cute, Ed. Clever!

Is there also an option F? Like, can we just vote for Edward Snowden to crawl back under his rock? No? Well, you know what? I’m voting for that anyway, because I can. Because this is America, and not, you know, Russia.

Russia. Homeboy is in Russia. Homeboy is a naturalized citizen of Russia.

Edward Snowden didn’t forget. He just chose to totally ignore it.

What’s wrong, Ed? Where’s that stunning bravery of yours that you’re always going on about?

I’d love to see Snowden take a similar poll of Russians about Vladimir Putin vs. Alexei Navalny. See how many likes and retweets he gets from the Kremlin.

Well, he is, so … it all works out perfectly.

Jerk.

***

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