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Good news: Taliban spox says the terrorists are committed to tackling climate change

We’ve been pretty tough on the Taliban here at Twitchy. On the surface, they seem like a pretty bad bunch of guys, what with the plundering, the raping, the murdering … but maybe we should hear them out.


Because if we give them a chance, they could do some real good in this world:

This sounds promising, doesn’t it?

From Newsweek:

“We hope not only to be recognized by regional countries,” [Abdul Qahar Balkhi, a member of the Taliban’s Cultural Commission] said, “but the entire world at large as the legitimate representative government of the people of Afghanistan who have gained their right of self-determination from a foreign occupation with the backing and support of an entire nation after a prolonged struggle and immense sacrifices despite all odds being stacked against our people.”

And he argued that such a move would be to the benefit of not only Afghanistan but nations across the globe.

“We believe the world has a unique opportunity of rapprochement and coming together to tackle the challenges not only facing us but the entire humanity,” Balkhi added, “and these challenges ranging from world security and climate change need the collective efforts of all, and cannot be achieved if we exclude or ignore an entire people who have been devastated by imposed wars for the past four decades.”

Well, this sort of talk seems good enough for China, at least:

We encourage the Afghan Taliban to follow through its positive statements, unite with all parties and ethnic groups in Afghanistan, establish a broadly-based, inclusive political framework that fits the national conditions and wins public support through dialogue and consultation as soon as possible, and adopt moderate and prudent domestic and foreign policies,” [Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesperson Hua Chunying] said.


And if China can trust them, why shouldn’t we?

But they have respect for Gaia, and that’s what really matters.

Like that great environmentalist Mao. Or Pol Pot!

It’s gonna be great. You’ll see.


Pallets of cash in exchange for cutting down on carbon emissions. Everybody wins!

Honestly, the worst part is that there are actually people out there in this country who will fall for it.

They may be backwards, but they’re not stupid.

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