'Free range cannibalism'? Hearty mockery as blizzard-fearing NYC hipsters storm Whole Foods [photos]

Do you see? Do you see what climate change hath wrought?

Curious to know how many Global Warming alarmists are mauling each other right now trying to get into @WholeFoods NYC before the snowstorm.

— Dustin Matocha (@DustinMatocha) January 26, 2015

Let’s take a look:

#Shopocalypse at Whole Foods in Chelsea with bigger crowds and more on edge than before Hurricane Sandy #blizzard pic.twitter.com/jRV4A2Mdft

— Paul Brandeis Raushenbush (@raushenbush) January 26, 2015

This is the scene outside the @WholeFoods in Union Square, NYC right now. Chaos. (photo by @acpants) #blizzardof2015 pic.twitter.com/Kg7rDLaOVG

— Briän Ries (@moneyries) January 26, 2015

Lines wrapped around the block at Whole Foods right now. Miserable. (via @acpants) #blizzardof2015 pic.twitter.com/D4lzAgYL12

— Amanda Wills (@AmandaWills) January 26, 2015

Well, there’s only one thing left to do now: Crack wise!

https://twitter.com/Cameron_Gray/status/559831229977985025

And thus begins the Apocalypse, a snow storm panics the upper classes at Whole Foods….;-) pic.twitter.com/fLIlmjkRoN

— Terry McAusland (@TerryMcAusland) January 26, 2015

@SalenaZitoTrib @moneyries @WholeFoods do you really need "organic" for bread, milk and toilet paper?

— Brian Cartwright (@blcartwright) January 26, 2015

Go ahead and Jack Torrance yourselves waiting outside a Whole Foods. Great idea

— Dave Rosado (@DaveRosado) January 26, 2015

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Flying into Snowmageddon was scary…but the Downtown Whole Foods is like a fucking battle scene from Game of thrones.

— Storm Large (@Stormof69) January 26, 2015

@moneyries gotta stock up on Goat's Milk and Organic Eggs before #Blizzardof2015 @WholeFoods @acpants

— Karen McAllister (@karenmcallister) January 26, 2015

https://twitter.com/Coondawg68/status/559838307979640832

Yuppies wildin all for the sake of Whole Foods.

— Lynda (@LeSnackSportif) January 26, 2015

BREAKING: NYC Whole Foods runs out of ironic beverages; hipsters attempt to flee city;
thousands of electric cars frozen on area highways.

— BAH! Humbuggery… (@thehiredmind) January 26, 2015

https://twitter.com/nwblackmon/status/559837668490870785

@SalenaZitoTrib @moneyries @WholeFoods hipsters gotta eat too…

— Ryan (@chasinghumility) January 26, 2015

Peak Kale. RT @AmandaWills Lines wrapped around the block at Whole Foods right now. pic.twitter.com/6VBpFmSaQ6

— Seth (@dcseth) January 26, 2015

For the record, there really is a run on kale:

blizzardof2015 My friend's pic of the "kale aisle at Wholefoods in Chelsea" (NYC) pic.twitter.com/rQQ5HZ2wri

— Jennifer King (@jenapradio) January 26, 2015

https://twitter.com/nwblackmon/status/559829742170697728

https://twitter.com/Glynner85/status/559847371811856384

This is serious, you guys.

https://twitter.com/noahWG/status/559834457876606976

Must. Get. KALE! RT @moneyries: The scene outside the @WholeFoods in Union Square, NYC right now. (photo by @acpants) pic.twitter.com/jZrK52hTWC

— Kristie Bihn (@kristiebihn) January 26, 2015

Whole Foods running out of both kale AND quinoa. Shit is getting serious. #Snowmageddon2015

— Jules Ehrhardt (@ezyjules) January 26, 2015

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHA MT @AmandaWills Lines wrapped around the block at Whole Foods right now. pic.twitter.com/Pug6jlQpu8

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 26, 2015

Next big NYC foodie craze: free range cannibalism pic.twitter.com/Pug6jlQpu8

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 26, 2015

OMG THEY'RE STABBING EACH OTHER FOR THE LAST PACKAGE OF VEGAN EGG SUBSTITUTE #NightOfTheLivingUnionSquareHipsters pic.twitter.com/Pug6jlQpu8

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 26, 2015

News about panic buying at NYC Whole Foods reaches Louisiana pic.twitter.com/J1eu1jmQKc

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 26, 2015

Teehee!

https://twitter.com/NathanWurtzel/status/559832086258126848

https://twitter.com/Matthops82/status/559831590293876736

https://twitter.com/joshgreenman/status/559829456731525120

@MsLesleySmith @moneyries @WholeFoods @acpants On the verge of wintry apocalypse, we demand access to organic pistachios NOW.

— Tim Teeman (@TimTeeman) January 26, 2015

https://twitter.com/Matthops82/status/559837590937808898

I'm just not sure I trust the survival skills of people who would form lines around Whole Foods in prep for a blizzard #NYCblizzard

— Tamara Winter (@_TamaraWinter) January 26, 2015

That’s a very fair point.

***

Related:

‘Gotta get the bread and milk’: Store shelves picked clean in New York, Boston, Philadelphia [photos]