'Free range cannibalism'? Hearty mockery as blizzard-fearing NYC hipsters storm Whole Foods [photos]

Do you see? Do you see what climate change hath wrought?

Curious to know how many Global Warming alarmists are mauling each other right now trying to get into @WholeFoods NYC before the snowstorm.

— Dustin Matocha (@DustinMatocha) January 26, 2015

Let’s take a look:

#Shopocalypse at Whole Foods in Chelsea with bigger crowds and more on edge than before Hurricane Sandy #blizzard pic.twitter.com/jRV4A2Mdft

— Paul Brandeis Raushenbush (@raushenbush) January 26, 2015

This is the scene outside the @WholeFoods in Union Square, NYC right now. Chaos. (photo by @acpants) #blizzardof2015 pic.twitter.com/Kg7rDLaOVG

— Briän Ries (@moneyries) January 26, 2015

Lines wrapped around the block at Whole Foods right now. Miserable. (via @acpants) #blizzardof2015 pic.twitter.com/D4lzAgYL12

— Amanda Wills (@AmandaWills) January 26, 2015

Well, there’s only one thing left to do now: Crack wise!

https://twitter.com/Cameron_Gray/status/559831229977985025

And thus begins the Apocalypse, a snow storm panics the upper classes at Whole Foods….;-) pic.twitter.com/fLIlmjkRoN

— Terry McAusland (@TerryMcAusland) January 26, 2015

@SalenaZitoTrib @moneyries @WholeFoods do you really need "organic" for bread, milk and toilet paper?

— Brian Cartwright (@blcartwright) January 26, 2015

Go ahead and Jack Torrance yourselves waiting outside a Whole Foods. Great idea

— Dave Rosado (@DaveRosado) January 26, 2015

Recommended

Dem Tries Saving FACE After Being Dragged for Story About Not Calling 911 When His Kid's Lips Turned Blue

Sam J.

Advertisement

Flying into Snowmageddon was scary…but the Downtown Whole Foods is like a fucking battle scene from Game of thrones.

— Storm Large (@Stormof69) January 26, 2015

@moneyries gotta stock up on Goat's Milk and Organic Eggs before #Blizzardof2015 @WholeFoods @acpants

— Karen McAllister (@karenmcallister) January 26, 2015

https://twitter.com/Coondawg68/status/559838307979640832

Yuppies wildin all for the sake of Whole Foods.

— Lynda (@LeSnackSportif) January 26, 2015

BREAKING: NYC Whole Foods runs out of ironic beverages; hipsters attempt to flee city;
thousands of electric cars frozen on area highways.

— BAH! Humbuggery… (@thehiredmind) January 26, 2015

https://twitter.com/nwblackmon/status/559837668490870785

@SalenaZitoTrib @moneyries @WholeFoods hipsters gotta eat too…

— Ryan (@chasinghumility) January 26, 2015

Peak Kale. RT @AmandaWills Lines wrapped around the block at Whole Foods right now. pic.twitter.com/6VBpFmSaQ6

— Seth (@dcseth) January 26, 2015

For the record, there really is a run on kale:

blizzardof2015 My friend's pic of the "kale aisle at Wholefoods in Chelsea" (NYC) pic.twitter.com/rQQ5HZ2wri

— Jennifer King (@jenapradio) January 26, 2015

https://twitter.com/nwblackmon/status/559829742170697728

https://twitter.com/Glynner85/status/559847371811856384

This is serious, you guys.

https://twitter.com/noahWG/status/559834457876606976

Must. Get. KALE! RT @moneyries: The scene outside the @WholeFoods in Union Square, NYC right now. (photo by @acpants) pic.twitter.com/jZrK52hTWC

— Kristie Bihn (@kristiebihn) January 26, 2015

Whole Foods running out of both kale AND quinoa. Shit is getting serious. #Snowmageddon2015

— Jules Ehrhardt (@ezyjules) January 26, 2015

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHA MT @AmandaWills Lines wrapped around the block at Whole Foods right now. pic.twitter.com/Pug6jlQpu8

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 26, 2015

Next big NYC foodie craze: free range cannibalism pic.twitter.com/Pug6jlQpu8

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 26, 2015

OMG THEY'RE STABBING EACH OTHER FOR THE LAST PACKAGE OF VEGAN EGG SUBSTITUTE #NightOfTheLivingUnionSquareHipsters pic.twitter.com/Pug6jlQpu8

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 26, 2015

News about panic buying at NYC Whole Foods reaches Louisiana pic.twitter.com/J1eu1jmQKc

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 26, 2015

Teehee!

https://twitter.com/NathanWurtzel/status/559832086258126848

https://twitter.com/Matthops82/status/559831590293876736

https://twitter.com/joshgreenman/status/559829456731525120

@MsLesleySmith @moneyries @WholeFoods @acpants On the verge of wintry apocalypse, we demand access to organic pistachios NOW.

— Tim Teeman (@TimTeeman) January 26, 2015

https://twitter.com/Matthops82/status/559837590937808898

I'm just not sure I trust the survival skills of people who would form lines around Whole Foods in prep for a blizzard #NYCblizzard

— Tamara Winter (@_TamaraWinter) January 26, 2015

That’s a very fair point.

***

Related:

‘Gotta get the bread and milk’: Store shelves picked clean in New York, Boston, Philadelphia [photos]