As Twitchy reported, San Diego mayor and serial groper Bob Filner has announced that he’ll be checking himself into rehab for two weeks to “become a better person.” That prompted Ace to wonder just what sort of program therapists have lined up:
Bob Filner announces he's taking a break to spend some more time with his victims
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Filner: I'm taking some time off to heal, to reflect, and, of course, to masturbate on strangers http://t.co/LLfVbwWkZY
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
VIDEO of the Filner Press Conference http://t.co/fIvYD2SQy7
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
That. Is. Inspired. Could it get any better? As a matter of fact, yes.
During Filner’s presser, Anthony Weiner, too, was briefing the public. Which got Ace to wondering: what about Weiner? He’s been to rehab. How has that worked out?
.@johnekdahl has a hilarious observation on Weiner. He notes he told the press, "Look, I told you there would be others…"
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
as if it's everyone else's bad for not realizing "there will be others" meant "there will be others I sexted during my Healing Journey"
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Like we all fucked up for not realizing that's what he meant. It's on *us.*
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
@JohnEkdahl I can't be responsible for your misunderstandings.
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you @JohnEkdahl
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Heh.
Anthony Weiner wows supporters with his vision for New York, his new ideas, and his throbbing erections
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Anthony Weiner writes heartfelt apology to disappointed donors, promising to do better, and including a picture of his penis at half-staff
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
@duchessrebecca glass half empty — someone else could see it as rising
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Ah, Ace. Ever the optimist!
Meanwhile, let’s see what Bob’s up to:
Report: Bob Filner checks in for sexual harassment therapy, meets therapist, tweaks her nipples
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Bob Filner apologizes for his behavior, but says he makes no apologies for first-rate heineys
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Bob Filner apologizes to victims, praises them for having courage and asses like a ten year old boy
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Bob Filner announces listening tour in which civic-minded women with tight bottoms will sit on his lap and "talk about whatever pops up"
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Bob Filner announces new women's health initiative he calls "The Pencil Test"
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Carlos Danger’s still busy:
Weiner softens image by taking underprivileged kids to the movies; it's a heartfelt, moving image, and Oh Shit his dick is in the popcorn
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Hate it when that happens.
Anthony Weiner promises to make New York City's credit rating "rock hard and veiny"
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
It’s a bicoastal effort between Weiner and Filner. Hands across America!
Bob Filner says he now understands that groping unwilling women isn't just hot, it's wrong-hot, and that just makes it hotter
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
The funny thing is these aren't even jokes, I'm writing these down straight from the press conferences
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Bob Filner says he's fought for 40 years for women's rights to self-determination, equality in the workplace, and Mustache Rides
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
@jrb802 of course it's free he's a Democrat
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Bob Filner announces biotech project to grow breasts on women's backs "so you can grope them while they're fleeing your office"
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
ugh… the face, the focused and yet glazed chill of the eyes https://t.co/xmQyqQLNjq
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Yeah, check out that creepy-lecher overbite Filner’s got going on. Rehab won’t be easy.
Jumping on a Live Grenade https://t.co/m6Kdye4c0Q
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
You know what they say: Pervy Dems will be pervy Dems!
Weiner says his mayoralty will be about one thing and one thing only and spells it out: J O B S P E N I S P I C T U R E S J E R K S O C K
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Bob Filner tells female reporter he "wants to get something straight between us," then giggles creepily
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
Fortunately, these guys are huggers. And there’s always room for one more in their growing club:
@BradThor what about Eric "Tickle Party" Massa?
— Ursus, Director of Weather and Banana Programming (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 26, 2013
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Related:
Ace illustrates Democrat mayor’s war on women with #BobFilnerPickUpLines
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