We thought this went without saying, but apparently it doesn’t, so we’ll say it again: lifting the mask mandate in airplanes and other forms of public transportation is not the same thing as forbidding passengers from wearing masks if they want to wear masks.
This is something lost on people like Roland Martin and Bess Kalb, who was a writer for Jimmy Kimmel’s late-night show and is currently the head writer and EP of something called “Yearly Departed” on Prime. At least Kalb has a comedic background, so her take on the lifted mandate is clever.
Just kidding! It’s not clever in the least:
Thrilled to announce I’m going to smoke cigarettes on my next @Delta flight because I’m really not worried about the health risks and @Delta puts my personal freedom first.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 20, 2022
The idea is that being able to make a personal decision about whether or not to wear a mask on a plane is as dangerous as smoking. We’ll just tell you right now: it doesn’t make any more sense upon subsequent readings.
Smoking is something you're not allowed to do. Masking is something you are allowed to do. The smoking ban was also a proper bill voted on and signed by President Reagan into law, not a regulation introduced arbitrarily by a federal agency. https://t.co/8PneB1Enk8
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) April 20, 2022
We didn’t think it needed to be explained, but Bess isn’t exactly Mensa material. She’s not even Penske material.
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Oooooooooh thank you I did not know any of this information!!
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 20, 2022
the entire internet picked up on that already.
— Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) April 20, 2022
Never hurts to remind us, though.
but other than that, it's a solid dunk!
— Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) April 20, 2022
Hey now. Bess is very proud of herself for it!
Twitter libertarians: “A chicken actually CAN’T cross a road because it is flightless and ambulates FAR slower than oncoming traffic, IDIOT.” https://t.co/U1D1Xis5yQ
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 20, 2022
I'm sure this sounded good in your head. https://t.co/y9GCWuUpoh
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) April 20, 2022
Probably has some good reverb in there.
???
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) April 20, 2022
Awww.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 20, 2022
???
No I'm literally trying to understand what it is you're saying, ma'am.
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) April 20, 2022
Story of our lives. But if Bess doesn’t seem to know, we certainly can’t be expected to make any sense of it.
The weird thing about seemingly educated neocons on Twitter is despite all their schooling, they never learned ratios. pic.twitter.com/oLvigneuDx
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 20, 2022
Um … congratulations?
If I got this much validation every day, I don't think I'd be this insecure about it. pic.twitter.com/BCL6gaDDb9
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) April 20, 2022
Bess isn’t insecure! She just bases her self-worth on Twitter likes!
She also weirdly namechecked both libertarians and neocons in her meltdown.
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) April 20, 2022
That’s how she became such a popular Twitter personality, probably.
Happy to lend a hand! It's not like there's some sort of device you could hold in your hand and use to find stuff out before issuing your excellent Twitter dunks. What a world we'd have if that were true, amirite??
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) April 20, 2022
I can’t imagine loving anything more than a libertarian loves thinking he owned a lib on Twitter by weirdly, condescendingly parsing out a joke.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 20, 2022
LOL the aloof sarcasm façade sure cracks when someone else gives it back. You'd think having 60,000 people kiss your ass for every one of these lame ass dunks would give you thicker skin.
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) April 20, 2022
She makes do with the skin she’s in, thank you very much.
My skin is actually really delicate because I use 2 face serums (morning and night) and a moisturizer with SPF 40 every day, MORON.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) April 20, 2022
— Noam Blum (@neontaster) April 20, 2022
Honestly, we’d rather hang out with that guy than Bess Kalb.
We’re cool with her staying home. Saves us the trouble of having to run into her, saves her the trouble of making an ass of herself in public spaces.
Just take the L Bess.
— Chris in VanBeeCee (@Chris_in_VanBC) April 20, 2022
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Related:
Valerie Jarrett will continue to wear a mask in her car no matter what non-scientists say
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