Rule of thumb for students at Brandeis University: before you take a stab at carrying on a conversation, make sure you give others a trigger warning to prepare them for the violent language you’re about to use.

Sorry, picnics are literal violence now:

Maybe Brandeis should just save themselves time and energy and let us know which words and phrases are OK to use. That list would be a whole lot shorter.

Quality education they’re giving at Brandeis. Real top-notch stuff over there.

And the “violent language” list is only one of five lists that make up Brandeis’ master list of “oppressive language.”

We, too, have been oppressed by language. Namely the sort of language that uses language like “oppressive language.”

You’re killing it, Brandeis. And by “it,” we mean the English language.

Good Lord.