We’re not sure what Mike Pence ever did to Patton Oswalt, but apparently it merits nasty homophobic jokes.
Pence recently explained how he handles the often vicious criticism that’s sent his way:
WATCH: Mike Pence on battling critics: "Spend more time on your knees than on the Internet" https://t.co/zEFuEX1atL pic.twitter.com/hsaSQVwCM5
— The Hill (@thehill) August 7, 2019
“No. 1 is spend more time on your knees than on the internet,” Pence said of how he handles critics during a “fireside chat” at an Alliance Defending Freedom (ADF) event.
“As a Christian believer, we’re charged to pray for our loved ones but also pray for our enemies. You have lots of opportunities in politics to do that,” Pence told ADF CEO Michael Farris.
“Forgiveness is a great gift, and my wife and I literally try to work through forgiving people who might speak woefully against us or might mischaracterize who we are and what our family’s all about,” he added.
Pence’s comment about spending more time on your knees, i.e. in prayer, than online was just the sort of low-hanging fruit Oswalt was looking for:
“I misspoke. What I meant to say is, ‘I don’t waste time on these low-blow dudes. That’s why when I’m on my knees all of my blow dudes are high.’” https://t.co/R2M03HPgRM
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) August 7, 2019
Get it? Get it???
“I mean praying. It’s a job you do on your knees, as well as a humbling hand job when you steeple them together. What’s to misconstrue?”
— Razorburn2021 (@Jake_Dahl) August 7, 2019
Pence seems like he spends a lot of time on his knees reaching for the high-blow.
— Jeff Sorensen (@SorenJeff) August 7, 2019
“Let’s try this again, the internet is a hole to all that is unholy. I prefer my holes holy and glorious. This is why you will always find me on my knees at a glory hole. Thank you, no more questions.”
— ??????? (@Ganelon) August 7, 2019
Is there an app on your phone that tells you how much time you spend on your knees? Mike’s gonna need that or he’ll probably lose count.
— Rob Fitl (@FITLBOX) August 7, 2019
To be clear: I hope that some day Pence discovers true happiness in blowing a long string of anonymous dudes, if that’s his thing. That would be nice, if that’s what he likes. It’s his hypocrisy and violence toward others that makes him bad, not his obvious closeted gayness.
— Initiate Fascist Removal Immediately (@Tippareth) August 7, 2019
Pence giving out sloppy toppys in exchange for compliments?
— Thomas Wayne (@tinklepants27) August 7, 2019
— Justin Blevans (@JustinBlevans) August 7, 2019
I guess that clarifies who Deep Throat is in this administration…
— JS19 (@jsyv19) August 7, 2019
You get fewer carpet burns on the internet.
— McCarty (@_JohnMcCarty) August 7, 2019
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take on your knees while Mother watches.”
— Dave Swykk (@Dave_Swykk) August 7, 2019
On you knees servicing Agent Orange…
— shawn merrill (@bigsmerski) August 7, 2019
Maybe this is why Trump is always "cocked and loaded"!
— Jimmy Schi (@JimmySchi) August 7, 2019
So hilarious and also clever. Hilarious and clever.
The homophobia from you and people in the comments is amazing.
— CountryGuy (@CountryGuy_01) August 8, 2019
Well, we all know that homophobia is perfectly acceptable when it’s directed at Republicans and conservatives.
— Spirit (@TheSwordSpirit) August 8, 2019
Gay jokes are funny now
— whizwith (@Lopper11) August 8, 2019
You’re the most woke when making gay jokes about Republicans. Right?
— NHiriteInSouth (@NHiriteInSouth) August 8, 2019
The joke is that Pence is gay, which is funny because it humiliates him because there's nothing wrong with being gay https://t.co/u0oxzNMWX8
— [shrug emoji] (@jtLOL) August 8, 2019
It's funny because being gay is bad
— [shrug emoji] (@jtLOL) August 8, 2019
Being gay is the worst!!! Am I doing this right?
— Spaghetti Cat (@Tummler123) August 8, 2019
If you use homosexuality in any way to insult someone else, YOU are the bigot, Patton.
— 5..6..7..8..Pounce! (@OnPointe28) August 8, 2019
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