As Twitchy told you, Twitter is pleased to unveil their new and improved safety guidelines that will totally clear up any confusion and lead to a safer, more enjoyable experience for all.

Those guidelines don’t actually clear anything up. In fact, they raise more questions than answers. Questions like this, in fact:

Well, let’s see:

Gee, Twitter, that doesn’t sound very inclusive or safe.

Carlos’ mentions are probably blowing up again. Poor guy.

We, too, would appreciate any feedback.

In the meantime, we have no choice but to be proactive and help Twitter enforce these very important and safe guidelines.

Carlos is a menace. Clearly he’s got to go. Our safety depends on it.

We’re just following the rules.