'We got a scoop!!!' The Hill breathlessly reports Very Important Health News about Donald Trump that could change everything (or, more likely, nothing)

We’re smack-dab in the middle of a crazy news cycle. Debates, coronavirus, communist sympathizing …

Good thing The Hill is here to keep us focused on the stuff that really matters: Donald Trump’s diet.

Trump doctor hid cauliflower in mashed potatoes to improve diet: report https://t.co/z6LyT6p8oT pic.twitter.com/w3FeW7kSW2

— The Hill (@thehill) February 25, 2020

“Report.” This constitutes a “report”:

President Trump’s former doctor reportedly hid cauliflower in his mashed potatoes in an attempt to improve the president’s diet.

Former White House physician Ronny Jackson told The New York Times that he regretted leaving his position before he could implement the diet and exercise regimen planned for Trump.

“The exercise stuff never took off as much as I wanted it to,” he said. “But we were working on his diet. We were making the ice cream less accessible, we were putting cauliflower into the mashed potatoes.”

Somebody get Adam Schiff on the line! Donald Trump doesn’t love vegetables? Impeach!

So????

— Darlis (@Darlasito) February 25, 2020

Recommended

Elon Musk Tells British ‘Journo’ Who Called Him 'Far Right' That More People Hate Her Than She Knows

Warren Squire

Advertisement

Who cares?

— adjfoto (@adjfoto) February 25, 2020

Why is everyone so damned interested in what a Trump eats?

— Dave Hapner (@toolfool) February 25, 2020

We don’t recall the media feeding frenzy over Barack Obama’s smoking habit, but maybe they were too busy licking his boots to see what he was doing with his hands.

WTF. Hold the front page we got a scoop!!! Really pathetic

— Greg Saunders (@gregsaunders47) February 25, 2020

***

Related:

‘Dumbest headline of the week?’ CNN’s report about ‘potential shock’ for Trump while in India has Pulitzer written all over it