ONE! One had “success” allegedly. That is such a big deal that White House deputy press secretary Eric Schultz, who on Wednesday admitted that the White House is holding our memorials for ransom, gleefully retweeted it.

Bless.

Even more bless your heart-y? It appears that one woman didn’t even actually enroll nor obtain insurance:

Perl visited Connect for Health Colorado early Tuesday morning to comparison shop and avoided technical problems that some Coloradans found on the site by putting off creating an account for now, she said.

After learning more information, like whether her children can still see their current doctors, Perl wants to buy a plan for her kids by Nov. 15. “As a working mom, I don’t need anything extra at all to do in the holiday season,” she said.

The mad giggling just won’t end!

Citizens aren’t impressed. First, the healthcare.gov parody weighed in.

Snicker.

Um. Real journalist, people! He hasn’t been able to find one of those mythical creatures. Even though, as Twitchy has reported, those mythical creatures are, you know, everywhere.

Ding, ding, ding! Since we are givers, we’ll help Mr. Young, master journalist, further:

You’re welcome.

Yep!

Perhaps photographic evidence will help the intrepid reporter!

Nope! Still flummoxed. Words are so very hard. Even shiny pictures don’t help.

Young is also baffled by this:

What?! He doesn’t understand. It does not compute. Unicorns!

Indeed.

Don’t burst his precious little bubble, dude.

Waah! But back to this perplexing implausible thing:

Oh, well. Case closed!

Sigh.

And still more incomprehensible questions:

Hmm. Funny that. But, hey, no worries. That’s not important:

Whatever! That’s neither here nor there. What really matters is that Obama is awesome.

Ha! Clearly that’s not a job for a “real journalist.” Their pom-poms seem to interfere with actual reporting.

Related:

‘Unbelievable!’ WH issues World War II memorial ransom note (Bonus ‘iconic’ Obama image)

Truth-ache! Errors in a nutshell: Don’t miss this perfect Obamacare ‘glitch’ pic

To ensure ‘smooth shopping,’ Colorado’s ‘Vegas-like’ Obamacare exchange won’t allow new accounts

‘Metaphor alert!’ WH touts high number of visitors to O-care website; Enrolled? Crickets

Day 2: DoL official says healthcare.gov is ‘open for business’; Twitter users say otherwise

It’s so popular! Congressman says Conn. Obamacare applications skyrocket to 167

Patience exhausted: MSNBC reporter tries to sign up for O-care exchange on air, gives up

Getting worse! Fed marketplace, state O-Care exchanges: Guys, you can ‘keep’ errors [pics]

‘Classic’ @BarackObama beclowning: ‘Obamacare is here’; So is hilarious mockery

Heckuva job! @HealthCareGov shamed into apology after touting glitchy O-care website

Oops! California’s health insurance exchange: It’s you? And spelling is hard [pic]

Online adventures with Obamacare: Reps admit ‘known’ security bug, but ‘please be patient,’ guys

‘So much for security!’ Health insurance websites continue ‘head desk’ fail

Hilarious! DNC touts ‘what affordable care looks like’; Citizens: Fixed it for you, DNC! [pics]

Surprise! Obamacare health insurance exchange websites don’t work; HealthCare.gov a total mess