My daughter is 20 years old and dating. She dated a young man for about eight months, but they recently broke up, so she is back out there trying to meet her person.
I don’t envy her. Dating is hard, and it seems worse than ever.
We talk about the things she should look for in a man. I told her that where she finds a man is where she will one day have to look for him, so I cautioned her against looking for love in bars. I encouraged her to go to church and participate in hobbies or political groups. It helps to find a prospective partner in places like that because, hopefully, you’ll already share a foundation of common values and interests.
I also told her to avoid lazy men like the plague. Her last suitor worked hard, but all he wanted to do on weekends was lie around the house and watch movies. He never planned dates or even wanted to take her to dinner. Obviously, I understand being tired from a demanding job, but never taking out your love interest is not fair either.
It goes deeper than that, though. I married a lazy man. He was happy to work only occasionally while I was the breadwinner. Maybe it’s wrong, but I quickly found myself no longer attracted to him. Men need to go to work. They need to feel like they are providing for their families. They need a purpose. Men who don’t want to work are off-putting. That’s also why I didn’t find this new study all that shocking.
"The classic, gendered trope of the depressed, anxious, stay-at-home mother is an old one." But it's not true.
— Brad Wilcox (@BradWilcoxIFS) August 8, 2026
New data from @famstudies shows the opposite: stay-at-home husbands report more depression, stay-at-home moms less. pic.twitter.com/5RMBSge8Xz
When women are free to stay home, they are generally happier. When the roles reverse—men staying home while their wives serve as the primary breadwinner — those men often report higher rates of depression. Men need purposeful work outside the home. Stay-at-home dads can succeed in some families, but in my experience that arrangement is rare and fragile. Nearly every couple I’ve known where the wife works full-time and the husband remains at home has eventually divorced. In many of those cases the marriage ended after the man began an affair. Without the structure, status, and sense of provision that work provides, many men seek fulfillment and an ego boost elsewhere, often in the attention of another woman.
My daughter has long known that her eventual goal is to be a stay-at-home parent. I encourage her to be completely upfront about that desire with the men she dates. It is essential to find a man who is committed to supporting his family and who does not expect his wife to leave the home to earn an income.
Her first requirement is a young man who is a Christian and who will put Jesus at the center of their marriage. After that, much of the rest will fall in place.
A common feminist response to men who encourage marriage and family raising is “easy for you to say!” as if children are all down side for women and don’t also bring tremendous joy to mothers that is backed by evidence. https://t.co/eeDZ9Gtn8Y
— Roger Severino (@RogerSeverino_) August 8, 2026
Children have been the greatest joy of my life, far beyond any career milestone. When I talk to young women, I tell them I did not have a successful marriage, so do the opposite of what I did. Find a hard-working man who wants to support his family and love his wife. That's the best chance for long term happiness.
