Chicago City Council Gets Advice From Teens on Preventing Teen Takeovers
Water Log: Jim Acosta Vies for ‘Swimmy’ Award in Aquatic ‘Journalism’ With Latest...
DOJ Charges 455 Fraudsters in $6.5 Billion Billing Scheme
Meek Streak: Michelle Obama Says Her Humble Hubby Hates That His Presidential Library...
Zohran Mamdani Spotted a 'Fundamental Constitutional Right' That Nobody Else Can Find in...
Families of Jailed Antifa Terrorists Are Livid, Say Government Lied to Prosecute Innocent...
Doomsday Bouquet: NRCC Gifts Flowers to Dem Jeffries for Being So Blooming Wrong...
Sen. Ted Cruz Looks at NY Election Results, Declares 'Rich Children Like Playing...
Perpetual PhD Parasite: 7th-Year Student Can't Afford NYC, Runs for Congress to Live...
The Guardian: Texas Protesters Received Unusually Harsh Sentences in Crackdown on Dissent
ICE to Fine Attorney for Filing Dozens of False Asylum Claims on Behalf...
Sydney Gallego Tries to Defend Hubby Ruben, Katie Miller Brings the Receipts and...
Brian Allen’s Heartwarming Interfaith Moment: Three Grifters United by the One True Faith...
The Dangerous Fallacy: ‘Exposing’ Radical Leftists Won’t Save Us — Their Voters Are...
NY Congressional Nominee Founded Group Whose Goal Was Total Eradication of Western Civiliz...

CDC issues guidelines for 'safer sex' if you're infected with monkeypox

No, this isn’t The Babylon Bee.

The CDC issued new “safer sex” guidelines for those infected with monkeypox, a “rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus” that causes a “rash that can look like pimples or blisters that appears on the face, inside the mouth, and on other parts of the body, like the hands, feet, chest, genitals, or anus.”

Advertisement

Our health experts at work!

Here are all of the CDC’s recommendations:

How can a person lower their risk during sex?

Talk to your partner about any recent illness and be aware of new or unexplained sores or rashes on your body or your partner’s body, including the genitals and anus. If you or your partner have recently been sick, currently feel sick, or have a new or an unexplained rash or sores, do not have sex and see a healthcare provider. This is always a good plan, even if monkeypox isn’t in your area.

If you or a partner has monkeypox, the best way to protect yourself and others is to not have sex of any kind (oral, anal, vaginal) and not kiss or touch each other’s bodies while you are sick, especially any rash or sores. Do not share things like towels, fetish gear, sex toys, and toothbrushes.

If you or your partner have (or think you might have) monkeypox and you decide to have sex, consider the following to reduce the chance of spreading the virus:

Advertisement
  • Have virtual sex with no in-person contact.

  • Masturbate together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching each other and without touching any rash or sores.

  • Consider having sex with your clothes on or covering areas where rash or sores are present, reducing as much skin-to-skin contact as possible.

  • Avoid kissing.

  • Remember to wash your hands, fetish gear, sex toys and any fabrics (bedding, towels, clothing) after having sex

  • Limit your number of partners to avoid opportunities for monkeypox to spread.

Hey, they’re the experts. We shouldn’t trust the science?

Well, we’re mocking the CDC because the CDC deserves to be mocked:

Advertisement

Are people this dumb?

Don’t answer that.

***

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement