Polymarket: Democratic Socialist Nithya Raman Has Surged to Second Place in LA Mayoral...
Soulless: Jill Biden Snubs Hunter’s Daughter Navy in Memoir Dedicated to Her Other...
Woman Demanding $10 Million for ‘Severe Emotional Distress’ After ICE 'Exposed Her Buttock...
UFC Freedom 250: CNN’s Sara Sidner Implies Trump’s a Dictator Since Benito Mussolini...
The Face That Launched a Thousand Scowls: Trump Publicly Diagnoses Kaitlan's Terminal Trum...
THEY MAD: SCOTUS Rules Alabama Can Use Map Lower Court Judge Called ‘Intentionally...
'Why Is She Leaving? I Want to Answer Her Questions!' Marco Rubio ROASTS...
Sunrise Movement Ditches Climate Change for Anti-Semitic Pro-Palestine Priorities
Ohio State Senator ‘Almost Brought to Tears’ by Hateful Rhetoric Against Somalis
Rep. Shri Thanedar Gets Cooked by Markwayne Mullin Over ‘Racist’ DHS Social Media...
Code Pink Thug Slaps Rep. Anna Paulina Luna After Hearing — Luna Files...
Joe Crashes Jill’s Gig, Asks Who She Loves Most, Then Announces Book Drop...
MSNow Slips up and Reveals California Mail-in-Ballot Scheme
Meltdown Mode: Dem Al Green Calls Sec. Mullin a Racist, Screams 'SHUT UP!'...
Pelley's Follow-Up Statement Digs the Grave of Entitled, Arrogant 'Journalism' Even Deeper

CDC issues guidelines for 'safer sex' if you're infected with monkeypox

No, this isn’t The Babylon Bee.

The CDC issued new “safer sex” guidelines for those infected with monkeypox, a “rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus” that causes a “rash that can look like pimples or blisters that appears on the face, inside the mouth, and on other parts of the body, like the hands, feet, chest, genitals, or anus.”

Advertisement

Our health experts at work!

Here are all of the CDC’s recommendations:

How can a person lower their risk during sex?

Talk to your partner about any recent illness and be aware of new or unexplained sores or rashes on your body or your partner’s body, including the genitals and anus. If you or your partner have recently been sick, currently feel sick, or have a new or an unexplained rash or sores, do not have sex and see a healthcare provider. This is always a good plan, even if monkeypox isn’t in your area.

If you or a partner has monkeypox, the best way to protect yourself and others is to not have sex of any kind (oral, anal, vaginal) and not kiss or touch each other’s bodies while you are sick, especially any rash or sores. Do not share things like towels, fetish gear, sex toys, and toothbrushes.

If you or your partner have (or think you might have) monkeypox and you decide to have sex, consider the following to reduce the chance of spreading the virus:

Advertisement
  • Have virtual sex with no in-person contact.

  • Masturbate together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching each other and without touching any rash or sores.

  • Consider having sex with your clothes on or covering areas where rash or sores are present, reducing as much skin-to-skin contact as possible.

  • Avoid kissing.

  • Remember to wash your hands, fetish gear, sex toys and any fabrics (bedding, towels, clothing) after having sex

  • Limit your number of partners to avoid opportunities for monkeypox to spread.

Hey, they’re the experts. We shouldn’t trust the science?

Well, we’re mocking the CDC because the CDC deserves to be mocked:

Advertisement

Are people this dumb?

Don’t answer that.

***

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos