SHE FOUGHT: Listen to the Absolutely Heartbreaking Opening Statements in the Laken Riley...
The Party's OVER! Politico Says Lobbyists 'Used to Getting Their Way' Fear RFK...
We Feel SO MUCH Safer Knowing the FBI Is Investigating Offensive Text Messages...
Republicans Seek Removal of Security Clearances for Intel Lapdogs Who Lied About Hunter...
Democrats: So Left-Wing They Fly in Circles
Donald Trump Names Karoline Leavitt White House Press Secretary
SAD COMMIE NOISES: Chicago City Council UNANIMOUSLY Rejects Mayor Brandon Johnson's $300M...
She's SUPER SERIOUS, Y'all! AOC Warns RFK Jr. Running HHS Will Take Us...
I'd Like to Teach the World to CRINGE! New AI Coca-Cola Ad Has...
CRUEL Britannia! Care Worker Jailed NINE MONTHS for 'Crime' of Filming Riot Aftermath
Trump Just Crossed an Election Threshold That's a 'First Ever for a Republican...
X Marks the Ad Spot! Big Win for Elon Musk and Free Speech...
'Move the F**K On': Justine Bateman Goes OFF on Scolds Lecturing Her About...
Censorship Loving 'Journalist' Jen Psaki Says We Need LAWS to Stop People Getting...
Hochul's Highway Heist: NY Governor's 'New Math' Is a Total Toll Trick

CDC issues guidelines for 'safer sex' if you're infected with monkeypox

No, this isn’t The Babylon Bee.

The CDC issued new “safer sex” guidelines for those infected with monkeypox, a “rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus” that causes a “rash that can look like pimples or blisters that appears on the face, inside the mouth, and on other parts of the body, like the hands, feet, chest, genitals, or anus.”

Advertisement

Our health experts at work!

Here are all of the CDC’s recommendations:

How can a person lower their risk during sex?

Talk to your partner about any recent illness and be aware of new or unexplained sores or rashes on your body or your partner’s body, including the genitals and anus. If you or your partner have recently been sick, currently feel sick, or have a new or an unexplained rash or sores, do not have sex and see a healthcare provider. This is always a good plan, even if monkeypox isn’t in your area.

If you or a partner has monkeypox, the best way to protect yourself and others is to not have sex of any kind (oral, anal, vaginal) and not kiss or touch each other’s bodies while you are sick, especially any rash or sores. Do not share things like towels, fetish gear, sex toys, and toothbrushes.

If you or your partner have (or think you might have) monkeypox and you decide to have sex, consider the following to reduce the chance of spreading the virus:

Advertisement
  • Have virtual sex with no in-person contact.

  • Masturbate together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching each other and without touching any rash or sores.

  • Consider having sex with your clothes on or covering areas where rash or sores are present, reducing as much skin-to-skin contact as possible.

  • Avoid kissing.

  • Remember to wash your hands, fetish gear, sex toys and any fabrics (bedding, towels, clothing) after having sex

  • Limit your number of partners to avoid opportunities for monkeypox to spread.

Hey, they’re the experts. We shouldn’t trust the science?

Well, we’re mocking the CDC because the CDC deserves to be mocked:

Advertisement

Are people this dumb?

Don’t answer that.

***

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement