Zoinks!: Courtroom Sketch of Terror Suspect Has X Talking ‘Scooby Snacks’ and Making...
The Economy’s Dead? Somebody Better Tell Toys ‘R’ Us
Shame on You, Jarvis: Nancy Mace Tells Men to Stop Sending Her 'Nasty'...
Mid-Trial, Jurors Were Thinking of Doing a Joint Press Conference on Postpartum Depression
Dem. Senate Candidate Would Trade Five Americans for One Illegal Alien Farmworker
University of California Students May Struggle With Basic Math but Are Graduating at...
'Legal Observer' Witnessed a Forklift Run Into the Kennedy Center Pillars 'Several Times'
Maria Salazar Warns Trump His Immigration Enforcement Efforts Have Gone Too Far in...
Bernie Sanders Butthurt That Billionaire Stadium Owners Can ‘Silence’ Artists Who Speak Ou...
SCIENCE! The New Yorker Believes That You CAN, Actually, Get a 'Little Bit...
CNN’s Dana Bash Says ‘It’s Just Gross’ That Michigan Voters Wouldn’t Vote for...
Insane: X Puts Abi Spanberger on Blast After Report of yet ANOTHER Illegal...
Gavin Newsom Rake Stomps Again While Pointing Out How Much Gas Prices Have...
This Is BIG! Abdul El-Sayed Just Lost a BIG Endorsement (Especially in Michigan!)...
Hasan Piker Goes Rogue, Screws Democrats With America 'Worse' Than Al-Qaeda Comment

CDC issues guidelines for 'safer sex' if you're infected with monkeypox

No, this isn’t The Babylon Bee.

The CDC issued new “safer sex” guidelines for those infected with monkeypox, a “rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus” that causes a “rash that can look like pimples or blisters that appears on the face, inside the mouth, and on other parts of the body, like the hands, feet, chest, genitals, or anus.”

Advertisement

Our health experts at work!

Here are all of the CDC’s recommendations:

How can a person lower their risk during sex?

Talk to your partner about any recent illness and be aware of new or unexplained sores or rashes on your body or your partner’s body, including the genitals and anus. If you or your partner have recently been sick, currently feel sick, or have a new or an unexplained rash or sores, do not have sex and see a healthcare provider. This is always a good plan, even if monkeypox isn’t in your area.

If you or a partner has monkeypox, the best way to protect yourself and others is to not have sex of any kind (oral, anal, vaginal) and not kiss or touch each other’s bodies while you are sick, especially any rash or sores. Do not share things like towels, fetish gear, sex toys, and toothbrushes.

If you or your partner have (or think you might have) monkeypox and you decide to have sex, consider the following to reduce the chance of spreading the virus:

Advertisement
  • Have virtual sex with no in-person contact.

  • Masturbate together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching each other and without touching any rash or sores.

  • Consider having sex with your clothes on or covering areas where rash or sores are present, reducing as much skin-to-skin contact as possible.

  • Avoid kissing.

  • Remember to wash your hands, fetish gear, sex toys and any fabrics (bedding, towels, clothing) after having sex

  • Limit your number of partners to avoid opportunities for monkeypox to spread.

Hey, they’re the experts. We shouldn’t trust the science?

Well, we’re mocking the CDC because the CDC deserves to be mocked:

Advertisement

Are people this dumb?

Don’t answer that.

***

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement