CDC issues guidelines for 'safer sex' if you're infected with monkeypox

No, this isn’t The Babylon Bee.

The CDC issued new “safer sex” guidelines for those infected with monkeypox, a “rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus” that causes a “rash that can look like pimples or blisters that appears on the face, inside the mouth, and on other parts of the body, like the hands, feet, chest, genitals, or anus.”

The CDC has new guidelines for sex with Monkeypox.

They include:

-having sex with no in-person contact.

-Masturbating together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching any rash or sores.

-having sex with clothes on or covering areas where sores are present

— Dr. David Samadi (@drdavidsamadi) June 17, 2022

Our health experts at work!

CDC guidelines are the gift that keeps on giving. "Have virtual sex," they advise. Masturbate, but with social distancing! pic.twitter.com/EG2cfbZxp4

— Liz Wolfe (@lizzywol) June 17, 2022

Here are all of the CDC’s recommendations:

How can a person lower their risk during sex?

Talk to your partner about any recent illness and be aware of new or unexplained sores or rashes on your body or your partner’s body, including the genitals and anus. If you or your partner have recently been sick, currently feel sick, or have a new or an unexplained rash or sores, do not have sex and see a healthcare provider. This is always a good plan, even if monkeypox isn’t in your area.

If you or a partner has monkeypox, the best way to protect yourself and others is to not have sex of any kind (oral, anal, vaginal) and not kiss or touch each other’s bodies while you are sick, especially any rash or sores. Do not share things like towels, fetish gear, sex toys, and toothbrushes.

If you or your partner have (or think you might have) monkeypox and you decide to have sex, consider the following to reduce the chance of spreading the virus:

Have virtual sex with no in-person contact.
Masturbate together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching each other and without touching any rash or sores.
Consider having sex with your clothes on or covering areas where rash or sores are present, reducing as much skin-to-skin contact as possible.
Avoid kissing.
Remember to wash your hands, fetish gear, sex toys and any fabrics (bedding, towels, clothing) after having sex
Limit your number of partners to avoid opportunities for monkeypox to spread.

Hey, they’re the experts. We shouldn’t trust the science?

5) Also, I don’t really understand the logic of saying “masturbating 6 feet apart” while also suggesting sex with clothes on. huh??? Dear @CDCgov staffer who wrote this — is this some prank today? Blink twice or RT if it is. pic.twitter.com/w8mdqsXMC6

— Eric Feigl-Ding (@DrEricDing) June 17, 2022

Well, we’re mocking the CDC because the CDC deserves to be mocked:

A lot of people are mocking CDC for its guidance on safer sex if you have monkeypox (including the bizarre recommandation to "masturbate 6 feet apart").
But the mockery against CDC is a bit unfair IMO. https://t.co/ty9yoTBKUk 1/2

— Julien Potet (@julienpotet) June 17, 2022

Are people this dumb?

The CDC actually clearly tells people infected with monkeypox not to have sex with others.
But people are people. And some may decide to have sex anyways. In that case, it is important to recommend practices that reduce risks. 2/2 pic.twitter.com/ZDhGcEo2EK

— Julien Potet (@julienpotet) June 17, 2022

Don’t answer that.

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