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'Welcome, comrade': NYT quiz says Tom Nichols is no longer a conservative

The New York Times has a quiz up that tells you where you align among 6 fictitious political parties. Check it out:

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And certified expert Tom Nichols took the quiz and discovered he is actually closest to the New Liberal Party, meaning his not socially or fiscally conservative:

“Welcome, comrade”:

Wait, he’s shocked by this?

We certainly weren’t:

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