Twitter user @JacquiDeevoy1 from London is going viral right now after tweeting her friend’s alleged — and we do mean alleged because this is bonkers — reaction after receiving The AstraZeneca vaccine.
Have a read. . .
A friend told me that hours after having the AZ jab, he was sitting at the dining table, when he suddenly projectile vomited pints of black blood. Over the next 4 days, he suffered bleeding from his rectum, had blood in his semen and came up in bruises all over his body.
— Jacqui Deevoy (@JacquiDeevoy1) August 27, 2021
How bad could the vaccine really be if he was able to masturbate after all that?
I’m mostly impressed he found time to jack it in between the vomiting and rectal bleeding. https://t.co/nxGvbOSery
— Sonny Bunch (@SonnyBunch) August 27, 2021
This is literally what she says he did, too:
Well done to this man, on realising he was bleeding from everywhere thought "might just have a wank" https://t.co/aGtCP81GQX
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) August 27, 2021
We do admire his “dedication” though:
Vomiting blood, bleeding from the ass, covered in bruises, and still managing to rub one out. This is what dedication looks like. https://t.co/PqZGIb89Yz
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) August 27, 2021
Others are questioning the projectile vomiting of “pints of black blood”:
Imagine being horny after throwing up PINTS of blood. https://t.co/YYke1BKbkH
— Dan King (@Kinger_DC) August 27, 2021
Yeah, the math doesn’t really work here:
"projectile vomited pints of black blood" The average adult has around 10 pints of blood. I probably wouldn't be able to masturbate after vomiting up at least 20% of my total blood volume. But he was somehow able to, anyway @JacquiDeevoy1 I'm glad your fake friend is a horny boy https://t.co/3sKJQk5Syh
— Mason (ad absurdum) Pelt (@masonpelt) August 27, 2021
And we eagerly await the fact-checks:
Screenshot for posterity: