In other news, apparently, there are 5 zebras on the loose in Maryland and have, so far, evaded capture for over a week:

But police and officials are trying their best to capture them:

One odd note on all this, Rep. Elanor Holmes Norton wants everyone to know that she didn’t release the zebras:

“My alibi is solid,” she said:

And her office even put out a statement on it:

Um, this makes us think she totally released the zebras:

Right?

Anyway, the zebras should be allowed to roam freely in the D.C. suburbs. “They’ve earned their stripes,” tweeted former FCC head Ajit Pai:

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Tags: zebras