A bunch of news outlets got their mitts on an email Tom Brokaw sent to friends and colleagues after the Washington Post and Variety published reports that the NBC News legend had sexually harassed former colleague Linda Vester, and as the kids say, it’s LIT AF:

But not only does Brokaw trash the alleged victim of his abuse, but he goes NUCLEAR on the Washington Post and Variety for even publishing her claims. From his letter, via the Hollywood Reporter.

First up, apparently they cut off his head with a guillotine:

It is 4:00 am on the first day of my new life as an accused predator in the universe of American journalism. I was ambushed and then perp walked across the pages of The Washington Post and Variety as an avatar of male misogyny, taken to the guillotine and stripped of any honor and achievement I had earned in more than a half century of journalism and citizenship.

Brokaw also seem to think “tickling” female subordinates without their permission is no big deal:

Linda Vester was given the run of the Washington Post and Variety to vent her grievances, to complain that I tickled her without permission (you read that right), that I invaded her hotel room, accepted an invitation to her apartment under false pretenses and in general was given a free hand to try to destroy all that I have achieved with my family, my NBC career, my writing and my citizenship.

The veteran reporter, who is already dead via France’s preferred method of execution, is also dead from the preferred method of execution in America’s gang neighborhoods, the “drive by”:

I am not a perfect person. I’ve made mistakes, personally and professionally. But as I write this at dawn on the morning after a drive by [sic] shooting by Vester, the Washington Post and Variety, I am stunned by the free ride given a woman with a grudge against NBC News, no distinctive credentials or issue passions while at FOX. 

Brokaw ended by saying the publications “can’t diminish” everything he’s accomplished:

I am proud of who I am as a husband, father, grandfather, journalist and citizen. Vester, the Washington Post and Variety cannot diminish that. But in this one woman piece of sensational claims they are trying.

Brokaw, however, has cancelled as undergraduate commencement speaker at Sacred Heart University over the controversy. In his place … wait for it … is Trump cabinet official Linda McMahon:

Many in the blue-check mob aren’t happy with Brokaw’s letter. “Is he even denying he did it?”

And for members of the media, getting compared to Trump is rough:

Others don’t like his guillotine imagery:

You’d think:

And we’ll end it with this fantastic stat:

Good idea, just to be safe.