We're not sure about you, Twitchy readers, but we didn't have Sydney Sweeney dominating the news headlines for the better part of a week on our bingo cards for July.
But this is how broken and batpoop crazy the left is in 2025.
What should have been an innocent (albeit mildly alluring and provocative) advertising campaign for American Eagle jeans has turned into a firestorm, with leftists screeching that Sweeney -- and anyone who likes her ad -- is a Nazi, followed quickly by the dead legacy media claiming the campaign is fascist while being terrified about 'a turn toward whiteness' (whatever that means).
We know it's a phrase that gets overused online, but some people out there really need to put their phones down and touch some grass.
Besides, the left should know better. Whenever they try gaslighting as ridiculous as this, conservatives will steer into the skid and make jokes about it, just to make them cry even more.
And no one is better at it than Twitchy favorite, @jarvisbest.
Yesterday, Jarvis posted the Sweeney thread of all Sweeney threads, teasing some of the actress's upcoming movie projects, deliberately designed to make leftists go into apoplectic fits of rage.
See if you can spot the 'Nazi-coded dog whistles' in all of these movies coming soon to a theater near you. (Hint: They're not subtle.)
Upcoming Sweeney projects - a
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) July 29, 2025
Jarvis Thread:
1. Sydney Sweeney is elite race car driver Elizabeth Fastrubber BUT can she win the season title and become a master grand champion? Find out this fall only in theaters - it’s MASTER RACE! pic.twitter.com/MMWd37A3Hh
Recommended
LOL.
Yeah, you know where this is headed. It only gets better from here. (But chef's kiss for the character name, Elizabeth Fastrubber, which is straight out of James Bond.)
2. “Excuse me miss, but I couldn’t help noticing that you have absolutely massive milkers.”
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) July 29, 2025
With that one cheesy pickup line, Hank Henderson landed the girl of his dreams. But what will it take to keep her? Find out this winter on ABC’s new drama, FOURTEEN WORDS ❤️ pic.twitter.com/YzEFrsT2a3
The left is absolutely OBSESSED with 'fourteen words,' and they will practice the most insane kinds of numerology to use it and call anything they don't like a Nazi code phrase.
3. Audrey Hiller, a young woman injured in war, returns home in order to fight new domestic enemies not to mention her own inner demons. Next spring in: MY STRUGGLE. pic.twitter.com/gl7Ci9YE0Y
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) July 29, 2025
Hopefully, this movie will be dubbed in German, so the title of the film can achieve its full effect.
4. Sydney Sweeney is a small town girl who loves her mom, her boyfriend, and her whole colorful community! But the one thing she doesn’t much like? IMMIGRANTS. Next summer’s biggest hit, YOU HAVE TO GO BACK. pic.twitter.com/4PCnXLzN40
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) July 29, 2025
Hey, we don't have to go to the theaters to see that one. Thanks to Tom Homan and ICE's outstanding work, we're seeing it happen in real time. The White House even came up with a saucy jingle for it.
Jarvis thought that one wasn't subtle enough, so he came up with another movie that was a little more subdued.
5. Sydney Sweeney plays Fraulein Elka Rasse, a young woman who wishes Hitler would have won the war in next year’s most anticipated film: I WISH HITLER WOULD HAVE WON THE WAR. pic.twitter.com/cflUYBOfT6
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) July 29, 2025
HAHAHAHAHA. Yes, very understated.
Of course, like any great artist, Jarvis's movie titles inspired many imitators, some of them just as hilarious.
Sydney Sweeny isn't just washing cars for a living, she's searching for the perfect soap formula to make white cars shine. Coming this spring, watch her search for THE FINAL SOLUTION. https://t.co/uyYRBnJgIV pic.twitter.com/rIEFc6hRKb
— Matt Fitzgerald (@mattfitzct) July 29, 2025
Meep.
Sydney Sweeney is a newly widowed cotton plantation owner doing her best to manage her home and her slaves, even in the midst of her pain and suffering. Coming soon only to FOX: The Color Blue. pic.twitter.com/xNWg252GAB
— 🫃🏼💉🇺🇦🥥Hollaria Briden, Esq. (@HollyBriden) July 29, 2025
We just KNEW that Holly Briden would have a great one.
In 1960s America, they said she couldn’t do man’s work. Her husband said she’d never make it in the factory. She set out to prove them both wrong. This summer, see the powerful true story of one woman who found independence and smashed glass ceilings in - WORK SETS YOU FREE pic.twitter.com/NXInowb4zb
— Alex (@Alex_muzzo) July 30, 2025
Ho ... Lee ...S***!
We're probably going to 'the hot place' for laughing at that one. But you're coming with us because you laughed, too.
2: Sydney Sweeney is elite cyclist Katie DeJarvis, BUT is her body fit enough to win the Tour de France?
— Andrew Follett (@AndrewCFollett) July 29, 2025
Find out this fall only in theaters - it’s Rise and Fall of the Third Bike! pic.twitter.com/1zkrvPN0mr
If that race is in France, won't the rest of the riders just surrender to her?
Sydney Sweeney stars in a role that only Walt Disney could dream of. See her in theaters this Christmas as Disney's Cinderella in KRISTALLNACHT! pic.twitter.com/0xfJrQMxLx
— Couldn't Be Papa P (@CouldntBePapaP) July 29, 2025
Sydney Sweeney is a probate lawyer in a courtroom battle over her client’s deceased lover’s estate as conniving distant relatives try unsuccessfully to declare him intestate. This December: TRIUMPH OF THE WILL pic.twitter.com/RG3G2FAfry
— tedfrank (@tedfrank) July 30, 2025
Hey, is that appropriate attire for a courtroom?
More like 'Triumph of the Pill ... ows,' right? (Sorry, we'll see ourselves out.)
Sydney Sweeney plays Eva Schmidt, an Air Force pilot forced to return home and run her father's diner. Tune in this Fall for: LUFTWAFFLES pic.twitter.com/y5yFKtYgnt
— Todd Leight (@LeightTweets) July 29, 2025
Everybody loves waffles!
I hear she’s going to play the White Power Ranger in the remake. pic.twitter.com/wwDyvsPwhN
— Juan d’Arc - l’inferno sta arrivando 🇺🇸 (@juan0farc) July 29, 2025
Yes, we just spat out our drink all over our keyboard.
We need a moment to clean up.
Sydney Sweeney plays a young woman who searches out the dad she never knew, and it takes her on a journey she never expected. Co starring Oscar winning thespian, Ian Mckellan. FATHERLAND (2026) pic.twitter.com/ZfEzk7sQ9B
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) July 30, 2025
Ooh, they got Gandalf (and Magneto). This one is sure to get an Oskar nomination ... Schindler, that is.
Can Hermoine Gerring make women’s football popular in England? Next summer, Sydney Sweeney stars in “The London Blitz”! pic.twitter.com/xSrd4H65pY
— Tim Roberts (@21stCenturyTim) July 30, 2025
LOL. 'Hermione Gerring.'
Some of the character names were off-the-charts hilarious.
Next Fall, Sydney Sweeney stars in the inspiring biopic of a young woman struggling with ADHD and the summer she spends trying to overcome it in Concentration Camp pic.twitter.com/eBe1u7X5pU
— pebbles and stones (@lagedor84) July 30, 2025
YIKES.
OK, now we're definitely all going to Hell on the express elevator.
Even Jarvis thought that one might have gone a little too far.
11. HOOOOO FUUUU … OK WE’RE DONE HERE THANKS FOR PLAYING EVERYONE THAT’S IT WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME GOODNIGHT https://t.co/uqk7yo6dhc
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) July 30, 2025
All that was left was the standing ovation for a masterful thread, both from Jarvis and from everyone else who provided an entry (except maybe that last one).
Jarvis as he hits send https://t.co/S50V21pk5S pic.twitter.com/ECWASOO9mf
— Mike B (@nightflyblog) July 29, 2025
Masterpiece https://t.co/IHjvApHX1C
— Sam Bellamy (@jce0912) July 30, 2025
This isn’t just a thread, it’s a tapestry. https://t.co/AIVS2pvX78
— Shrimp Poboy (@jNOLAmetangere) July 30, 2025
And it was the laugh we ALL needed after days of insanity from the left.
Thank you to Jarvis and all of the other contributors for giving us that.
And for the reminder that the best way to own the libs is to mock them into oblivion.
On that front, these Sydney Sweeney movies might get a spot in the Twitchy Hall of Fame.
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