PLEASE Let Them Be This Dumb: Reports Circulate About a HILARIOUS Potential DNC...
Totally Hammered: Animated Lord of the Rings Movie Throws Down the Gauntlet in...
Congratulations: State Rep. Zooey Zephyr Used the Bathroom Today
Brit Split: Ellen Degeneres and Wife Start New Life in Merry Old England...
President Biden Awards Medal of Freedom to Former Planned Parenthood President
Laverne Cox Likens Women-Only Bathroom Policy to Nazism
Two Photos Capture ‘Stark Contrast’ in Foreign Relations Between Biden and Trump
DOGE Co-Efficiency: Musk and Vivek Publish Plan to Cut Costs and Eradicate Government...
Name Dropping: Comcast Spin-Off to Force MSNBC to Strike 'NBC' From Its Moniker
Brava Maestra! Justine Bateman Offers a GLOWING Video Review for Once and It's...
True Team Leaders Must Consider the Impact on Teammates of Doing the Trump...
He's Back! Rob Reiner Reemerges for the First Time Since Trump's Victory
Do Most Kids REALLY Need College? Dr. Strangetweet Offers Compelling Reasons Why They...
Joe Biden's Intern Forgot to Post About Trans Day of Remembrance
Rob Reiner Gets Dragged by Lefties Over on 'Digital Canada' for Finally Accepting...

Pulitzer Incoming: Spokane Reporter OUTRAGED That Kids Are Riding Their Scooters on the Street

Twitter

The insanity of 'pride' month hits many parts of the country throughout June, but if you live in the Pacific Northwest, you may want to consider getting out as soon as possible. Because the religious fervor there of celebrating 'pride' has reached all new levels of crazy. 

Advertisement

On Wednesday, in Spokane, Washington, three teens were arrested for riding their Lime scooters over a giant 'pride' flag painted on the street. Did the kids intentionally ride and brake their scooters over the flag to create skid marks? Probably. Kids have loved to create skid marks since bicycles were invented. 

The only problem is, in Washington and during 'pride' month, that is damn near a capital offense. 

LOL. 'Hate crime.' Sorry, we shouldn't laugh. It is very serious and scary that governments are willing to charge children with FELONIES for the dastardly crime of creating marks on the road. 

The tweet from End Wokeness above continues to say that the kids could face up to 10 years in prison and that prosecutors requested they be held on $15,000 bail (but if you assault someone, they'll let you out with no bail, and if you rob a store, they may not even arrest you at all). 

But the story gets even better. The next day, local news station KHQ sent intrepid reporter Adam Schwager out to the horrible scene of this crime against humanity ... where several more children were seen ALSO riding their scooters on the street and creating skid marks, including over the flag. 

Advertisement

Now THAT we will laugh at. Good for those kids. Be ungovernable. And don't be cowed by the rage mob.

Note that Schwager isn't outraged that children are being charged with felonies for the crime of riding scooters on asphalt. He is infuriated that another HATE CRIME is being committed RIGHT BEFORE HIS VERY EYES. 

What a tool. 

In a reply to his own tweet, Schwager notes that the kids left skid marks elsewhere too, so the marks over the sacred 'pride' flag may have just been coincidental. 

Oh, that doesn't matter. Just stay outraged. That'll be sure to win you a local Emmy.

Many people on Twitter were happy to point out the obvious to Schwager, since he was too busy clutching his pearls to see it. 

Advertisement

News flash, Spokane: if you paint your religious symbol on a STREET, people are likely to ride and drive over it. That is going to leave marks, whether they mean to or not.

If you look at the video in the tweets above from Schwager and End Wokeness, you'll see cars driving over the flag repeatedly during the news reports, especially as the one woman is crying about a 'hate crime.'

Now, that is just hilarious. 

We're expecting a speech from Kamala Harris soon, calling this event worse than the Civil War, Pearl Harbor, and 9/11 combined. 

That too. 

But mostly, people were concerned if Schwager would be alright after witnessing such an atrocity. 

Advertisement

It's going to require a lengthy therapy session.

Hey, that's not fair. Schwager is lining himself up for some big-time 'journalisming' kudos. 

HAHAHAHAHA. Schwager is still getting buried under his ratio more than 20 hours after his tweet. 

But despite the madness of the gender cult in Spokane, we think this is a feel-good story anyway. 

Because not all heroes wear capes. Some of them ride Lime scooters.

Advertisement

Sometimes, we don't weep for the future at all. 

Hey now, Bruce. Those kids are minors and not old enough to have a beer (wink, wink). 

But we'll be happy to buy them a Coke and a burrito. Extra large. 

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement