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PO-TAY-TO: Brian 'Spud' Stelter Tries to Explain the Joke, Makes It SOOOO Much Worse


We have to admit, we kind of miss Brian Stelter, that lovable old tater. Once upon a time, Stelter could be reliably depended upon to rant and rave about Tucker Carlson and Fox News pretty much every night of the week on CNN. It was always a highly entertaining display of obsessive personality disorder. 


Then CNN+ happened ... for about five minutes. Then CNN canceled Stelter's show, Reliable Sources. Then the shame spiral of endless boxes of donuts in Stelter's basement happened. 

We don't hear as much from America's favorite tuber these days, but he still pops up on Twitter or some random podcast to show everyone that yes, he indeed is still obsessed with Fox News. This time, it was on Sarah Longwell's podcast (of The Bulwark) over the weekend, where he claimed his nickname of 'Potato' came about because Fox News was obsessed with him. Watch: 

Oh, dear. This man is ... not well.  

We particularly love how he starts out here by claiming that he is some character in a 'cinematic universe.' Yes, in his mind, he believes he is Captain America. And then he builds up his fictional importance by claiming 'potato' is coded language within the 'Fox Universe' (whatever that is). 

Having his Fox-obsessed book that no one bought or read in the background was a nice touch too. 


No, it's not a code word, Brian. It's not a dog whistle. As Eric Abbenante clearly explains, people call you a potato because ... you look like a potato. 

Yikes. How about a trigger warning before showing that picture again? Or at least mark it as 'sensitive content.'

We would have loved to see the expressions on his family's faces as they tried to pretend they didn't get the joke way better than Stelter did or stifle the urge to start giggling. Those had to be some outstanding poker faces. 

It's not really all that complicated. Maybe a side-by-side comparison will help Stelter here: 

As Pam from The Office would say, 'They're the same picture.'


A couple of even better artist's renditions. 


He never has been. And Humpty Dumpty was never the big joke (even though some people do say that). The real origins of the 'potato' joke didn't start on Fox. It started with Kurt Schlichter of our Townhall family, and with Donald Trump Jr. saying that Stelter looked like 'a gender-neutral Mr. Potato Head.' (Bonus points for accuracy there.)

Oh, but it's true. Stelter is only 38. Having simultaneous Trump and Fox News Derangement Syndromes will age a man badly. 

HAHAHA. Perfection. 

Hang on, we think we found him. 

Well done, sir. 

Maybe the best response to Stelter's frustrated rambling about the potato joke, though, came from Twitter's best chef, Andrew Gruel. 


LOL. Now we want some french fries. 

The real reason that the potato and Mr. Potato Head jokes continue to be funny is that Stelter continues to show everyone, as he did on this podcast, that they get to him. If he would have just laughed along with the joke, it probably would have gone away by now. But he can't. Even before he got canceled by CNN, he would actually devote ENTIRE SEGMENTS of his show to responding to the insults. 

And now he is going on podcasts to publicly talk about how he tried to explain it to his family? 

That's how you become a laughingstock for the rest of your natural life, Brian Stelter. 

But thanks for the laughs once more. We did miss them. 

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