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OOF: Marriage Is Upper Middle Class WHITE SUPREMACY, Says ... Upper Middle Class White Divorcee

Twitchy

In case you haven't heard the news, Twitchy readers, everything is white supremacy these days. Do you like to stay in shape? That's white supremacy. Enjoy the outdoors? Yep, you're a white supremacist. Obviously, chess is white supremacy, since the player with the white pieces always goes first. And pool? Don't get us started on the white cue ball, that only exists to knock out all the colored balls. 

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And even though it already controls ... well, everything, white supremacy continues to expand, like a nasty racist virus. 

Today, for instance, we found out that if you are in a happy, loving, and committed marriage, you also are a white supremacist. 

No, we are not making this up. Take a look. 

Oooh. Marriage is white supremacy AND the patriarchy. That sounds SUPER evil. 

If you don't know who Lyz Lenz is, we can't blame you. Very few people do. But she writes for the New York Times (because of COURSE she does) and recently wrote a book called This American Ex-Wife about her own failed marriage. 

Because her failure (and that of her ex) couldn't be HER fault. It HAD to be white supremacy. And the patriarchy. Or something. 

Clearly, Lenz was just engagement farming with her tweet, hoping to drum up interest in her book, but Twitter was having none of it. 

We love the 'patriarchy' part too. You can bet your last dollar that Lenz is perfectly fine with men competing in women's sports and using women's bathrooms. Because that's not the patriarchy erasing women AT ALL in her nutbar eyes. 

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Ooh, a Venn Diagram. Someone call Kamala Harris. 

Brilliant parody account Holly Briden just had to chime in too ...

LOL. Velvetta cheese log. That tracks. Don't forget the three boxes of wine and a minimum of 24 cats. 

We even got treated to a few unbearably cringe excerpts from Lenz's book.

Hyperventilating about Donald Trump? A coffee mug with Democrat politicians? That tracks too. 

It's got our vote. 

Always. Every single time. 

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That meter is broken. But speaking of people who are not white who have successful marriages ...

Racism? From a well-off, liberal, white woman? You don't say. 

Since someone brought up Iowa, some took the opportunity to remind Lenz of another crazy thing she wrote during COVID.

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Iowa, like Florida, actually outperformed most of the country related to COVID, in case you were wondering.

Of course, as we mentioned, Lenz was just trying to sell a book here. So, in the replies to her thread, when people were calling her out, she tried to respond to all of those replies with a link to her book on Amazon. 

Yeah. We'll take 'Things That Never Happened' for $800, Alex. 

By the way, This American Ex-Wife is currently ranked #21,849 on Amazon's best sellers list. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Lenz kept digging though. Because tweeting your way out of it ALWAYS works.

By far the best exchange of the day, however, came between Lenz and Christina Pushaw.

Pushaw posted her initial reply in the way only she could. 

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Lenz decided to QT this with another attempt to hock her book. 

Oh, honey. Honey, no. 

Pushaw then dropped the hammer with some straight truth. 

This is dead-on, balls accurate. One. Hundred. Percent.

It was at this point that Lenz finally decided that maybe she should just run away. 

The blocks started flying. 

Lenz's lens (ooh, we like that) is not just a funhouse mirror. It is a funhouse mirror caked in dried tears and wine, cat urine, and splashed with a bucket of self-hatred for good measure.

The good news is, if Lenz was looking for engagement on Twitter, she got it. 

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The bad news is, no one is STILL going to buy her book. 

Well, that's bad news for her anyway. For the rest of us, it's hilarious. 

***

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