In case you haven't heard the news, Twitchy readers, everything is white supremacy these days. Do you like to stay in shape? That's white supremacy. Enjoy the outdoors? Yep, you're a white supremacist. Obviously, chess is white supremacy, since the player with the white pieces always goes first. And pool? Don't get us started on the white cue ball, that only exists to knock out all the colored balls.
And even though it already controls ... well, everything, white supremacy continues to expand, like a nasty racist virus.
Today, for instance, we found out that if you are in a happy, loving, and committed marriage, you also are a white supremacist.
No, we are not making this up. Take a look.
When an upper middle class white lady says marriage is working for her…like yeah that’s the point of white supremacy and patriarchy, bb. It works for you and no one else.
— Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) March 28, 2024
Oooh. Marriage is white supremacy AND the patriarchy. That sounds SUPER evil.
If you don't know who Lyz Lenz is, we can't blame you. Very few people do. But she writes for the New York Times (because of COURSE she does) and recently wrote a book called This American Ex-Wife about her own failed marriage.
Because her failure (and that of her ex) couldn't be HER fault. It HAD to be white supremacy. And the patriarchy. Or something.
Clearly, Lenz was just engagement farming with her tweet, hoping to drum up interest in her book, but Twitter was having none of it.
I'll have been married 25 years in October.
— The🐰FOO (@PolitiBunny) March 28, 2024
Marriage works because it IS work ... you're a team, not just a couple.
White supremacy and MUH PATRIARCHY have zero to do with it. https://t.co/KaKuWdQbtP
We love the 'patriarchy' part too. You can bet your last dollar that Lenz is perfectly fine with men competing in women's sports and using women's bathrooms. Because that's not the patriarchy erasing women AT ALL in her nutbar eyes.
Recommended
— "The" Friar Tuck (@SamAdams40) March 28, 2024
Ooh, a Venn Diagram. Someone call Kamala Harris.
Brilliant parody account Holly Briden just had to chime in too ...
My marriage definitely works but I’d be lying if I said I don’t envy you having an empty side in your bed so you have somewhere to put your Velveeta log and tear-soaked tissues.
— 🫃🏼💉🇺🇦Hollaria Briden, Esq. (@HollyBriden) March 28, 2024
LOL. Velvetta cheese log. That tracks. Don't forget the three boxes of wine and a minimum of 24 cats.
We even got treated to a few unbearably cringe excerpts from Lenz's book.
Your complete lack of self-awareness is one of the funniest things I’ve come across in a long time. Thank you. pic.twitter.com/kNMWNRsrlp
— Meara (@MillennialOther) March 28, 2024
Hyperventilating about Donald Trump? A coffee mug with Democrat politicians? That tracks too.
https://t.co/P34m1NmHnb pic.twitter.com/8VeylRIWLo
— Sunny (@sunnyright) March 28, 2024
This is possibly the most insufferable thing ever written https://t.co/rlXO5YKqE0
— Corporal Punishment (@CplPunishment_) March 28, 2024
It's got our vote.
— "The" Friar Tuck (@SamAdams40) March 28, 2024
Always. Every single time.
Yup, my 21yr marriage only works because of white supremacy and the patriarchy. Same with my mom & dad's 42yr marriage or my grandparent's 57yr marriage. https://t.co/tdC6qzysDr pic.twitter.com/92bMPzGqAq
— Graham Cracker (@kilomikealpha77) March 29, 2024
Only white people have happy marriages?? https://t.co/TeqBzEk4qm pic.twitter.com/fi5JLdoM7u
— Witchy Chick (@1WitchyChick) March 28, 2024
That meter is broken. But speaking of people who are not white who have successful marriages ...
What about us mixed race people? Is that white supremacy too?
— G (@justthatG_uy) March 28, 2024
Oh. I guess someone should tell my Haitian friends who emigrated here a decade ago that their 20yr marriage isn’t working for them https://t.co/x6NAv2aqST
— Elijah the Middleborne (@TheMiddleborne) March 29, 2024
In 1900, the black marriage rate in the United States was slightly higher than the white marriage rate. People, in fact, are happily married all over the world. It is absolute nonsense—and, actually, quite racist—to insist that marriage is only for affluent whites. https://t.co/sD5hvrvDAC
— Christopher F. Rufo ⚔️ (@realchrisrufo) March 28, 2024
Racism? From a well-off, liberal, white woman? You don't say.
This lady lives in Iowa where 4% of the population is Black. WTF does she know about the Black experience & marriage? This race baiting sht is tired & exacerbates racism & ironically the only people still buying what she’s selling are upper middle class white women. https://t.co/G5AiVpbfd7
— (Formerly) Brooklyn Mom (@graciefacelove) March 28, 2024
Since someone brought up Iowa, some took the opportunity to remind Lenz of another crazy thing she wrote during COVID.
You’ll always be favorite for posting one of the most delusional stories ever written on COVID pic.twitter.com/O4PqHmhKqH
— Ian Miller (@ianmSC) March 28, 2024
Iowa, like Florida, actually outperformed most of the country related to COVID, in case you were wondering.
Of course, as we mentioned, Lenz was just trying to sell a book here. So, in the replies to her thread, when people were calling her out, she tried to respond to all of those replies with a link to her book on Amazon.
While the men are mad in my replies. Their wives are in my email telling me my book spoke to them. https://t.co/lhVl1yvBzs
— Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) March 28, 2024
Yeah. We'll take 'Things That Never Happened' for $800, Alex.
By the way, This American Ex-Wife is currently ranked #21,849 on Amazon's best sellers list.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Lenz kept digging though. Because tweeting your way out of it ALWAYS works.
Leftists always do this. They say something incredibly stupid, and when people notice, they say “I see the Nazis found my tweet.” Or they will say “I see the white supremacists found my post. I’m going to mute it, but please buy my stupid book.” They never engage in… https://t.co/TEj9K4yE59
— Ian McKelvey (@ian_mckelvey) March 28, 2024
By far the best exchange of the day, however, came between Lenz and Christina Pushaw.
Pushaw posted her initial reply in the way only she could.
Idk what kind of people you interact with… but I know many women who aren’t white and are happily married. What would you say to them?
— Christina Pushaw 🐊 🇺🇸 (@ChristinaPushaw) March 28, 2024
Lenz decided to QT this with another attempt to hock her book.
Buy my book because it would make Christina really really mad https://t.co/lhVl1yvBzs https://t.co/LdgTlrIGRk
— Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) March 28, 2024
Oh, honey. Honey, no.
She wouldn’t care, tbh.
— Jeremy Redfern (@JeremyRedfernFL) March 28, 2024
Have you tried crying more?
Pushaw then dropped the hammer with some straight truth.
I can summarize @lyzl’s book so you don’t have to buy it. Her marriage failed, so she’s mad at everyone who is happily married and thinks you all are white supremacists. https://t.co/wnWSiNYezS
— Christina Pushaw 🐊 🇺🇸 (@ChristinaPushaw) March 28, 2024
This is dead-on, balls accurate. One. Hundred. Percent.
It was at this point that Lenz finally decided that maybe she should just run away.
Sounds like she’s an AWFL 🤷🏻♀️
— Kristi (@TheyCallMeNans) March 28, 2024
Also, I’ve never interacted with this crazy lady. 😂 pic.twitter.com/iNNQGuHshx
The blocks started flying.
I get that people see things through the lenses of their own "lived experiences", but some of y'alls lenses are funhouse mirrors. https://t.co/JFfzFvbl6J
— Dave Gordon 🇺🇸 🇮🇱 (@D_Gordzo) March 28, 2024
Lenz's lens (ooh, we like that) is not just a funhouse mirror. It is a funhouse mirror caked in dried tears and wine, cat urine, and splashed with a bucket of self-hatred for good measure.
The good news is, if Lenz was looking for engagement on Twitter, she got it.
The bad news is, no one is STILL going to buy her book.
Well, that's bad news for her anyway. For the rest of us, it's hilarious.
***
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