The left sure seems to be obsessed with nuclear weapons and nuclear war these days. Two days ago, we wrote about a new Gen Z 'nuclear disarmament consultant' on TikTok with pipe dreams of a nuke-free world. Then yesterday, The New York Post asked everyone to imagine what would happen to Washington, DC, if it got hit with a nuclear bomb.
What would happen to Washington, DC if attacked by a nuclear bomb? https://t.co/aLKkvnEz3j pic.twitter.com/JrVr1Bg2vn
— New York Post (@nypost) March 23, 2024
Umm, we're not really nuclear physicists here, but we're pretty sure the city would be destroyed. Next question?
Of course, the full article -- which is an excerpt from author Annie Jacobson's new book, 'Nuclear War: A Scenario' -- is dedicated to depicting exactly what happens when a population center is hit with a nuclear weapon, second by gruesome second. The article is extremely long, so we won't bore you with all of it (since everyone Gen X or older already knows all this), but here is a sampling:
Hell on Earth. Washington, DC, Possibly Sometime in the Near Future
A 1-megaton thermonuclear weapon detonation begins with a flash of light and heat so tremendous it is impossible for the human mind to comprehend. One hundred and eighty million degrees Fahrenheit is four or five times hotter than the temperature at the center of the sun.
In the first fraction of a millisecond after the bomb strikes the Pentagon, there is light. Soft X-ray light with a very short wavelength. The light superheats the surrounding air to millions of degrees, creating a massive fire-ball that expands at millions of miles per hour. Within seconds, this fireball increases to a diameter of a little more than a mile, its light and heat so intense that concrete surfaces explode, metal objects melt or evaporate, stone shatters, humans instantaneously convert into combusting carbon. The five-story, five-sided structure and everything inside its 6.5 million square feet of office space explodes into superheated dust; all 27,000 Pentagon employees perishing instantly.
Jacobson goes on like this for another FIFTEEN paragraphs. We can't imagine how miserable anyone must be who reads her whole book.
But again, everyone KNOWS this. At least everyone who lived through the 80s knows this. It was hammered into our brains every day.
So, what is the point of all of this ghoulish description of the gory details? Partially, it might be another quixotic fantasy of a nuclear-free world, but mostly we think the point is simply fearmongering. Something that is the media's stock in trade.
Unfortunately for the Post and Jacobson, Twitter does not easily get scared into submission anymore. (The left can blame all their COVID lies for helping that along.) Accordingly, people responded with hilarious mocking and scorn.
It would clean it up quite a bit. https://t.co/ZN50GZVuZv
— E=MC HAMMERTIME (@scs_real) March 24, 2024
This writer lives near Washington, DC. It is filthy. And smelly. And crime-ridden. So, a warhead might actually clean things up from the city's current state.
Tell me you haven't played Fallout 3 without telling me you haven't played Fallout 3. https://t.co/ldmqs5jkUq
— Oscar Von Reuenthal (@OscarVReuenthal) March 24, 2024
At least, we hear Amazon's new Fallout show is looking pretty good.
The US would skyrocket to being within the top 10 happiest countries in the world https://t.co/eF4vkbts74
— ULTRA Gay Biker DAD (@AnotherHomoCon) March 24, 2024
It might even stop Congress from passing more bloated $1.2 trillion omnibus bills. But we're not 100 percent sure of that. It is said that cockroaches could survive a nuclear blast.
Not that we're making that analogy with politicians. We would NEVER. [wink, wink]
Corruption in the states would plummet. https://t.co/har1zdSga1
— Silence and Frost with a side of Bloodbath (@secjr112) March 24, 2024
https://t.co/RIfIkX5H3A pic.twitter.com/0bpvQDt4cC
— White suburban Rage Dennis🏴☠️🦜 (@Buzzsaws1990) March 24, 2024
Eep.
Hey, we're not saying it, Twitter is. (We may be snickering under our breath a little though.)
What would happen: a massive increase in individual liberty and a massive reduction in taxes. https://t.co/dzK2KyR2ac
— Tim 🏴☠️🏴Decentralize and nullify 🏴🏴☠️ (@Tim_The_Sandman) March 23, 2024
I'd list all the benefits but I don't have a blue check so I'm limited on characters. 🤔 https://t.co/ZzifHrw9b9
— Sgt. Bradley - USMC (@SgtBradleyUSMC1) March 23, 2024
That's OK. You don't need a blue check. Just do a multi-tweet thread on it, friend.
Remember that scene at the end of Return of the Jedi when the whole galaxy is celebrating the fall of the Empire? https://t.co/wd5Qbz6aDM
— Ben McMillan (@benmccomposer) March 23, 2024
Will we be able to sing the 'Yub Nub' song too?
Remember: these are just JOKES, people (kind of).
If an ICBM made its way into DC, locals would try and rob it, then shoot it. https://t.co/DoKjla7QH5
— 9mmSMG (@9mm_smg) March 23, 2024
Holy sh**, LOL. We just spit water out of our nose. No, we're not exaggerating. Actual water.
As the saying goes ...
If I answer honestly, do I get on a list..? https://t.co/qKKWGv0zBL
— Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (@WingDynasty) March 24, 2024
Hate to break it to you, but you're already on it. Don't worry, so are we. We've got cookies and membership jackets.
Hear me out… pic.twitter.com/UmqDoDpo5h
— Clandestine (@WarClandestine) March 23, 2024
Peace in our time? pic.twitter.com/ZYNHnptujO
— The Professional Zilch (@ProZilch) March 23, 2024
Are you suggesting that the people who push perpetual war are all located in Washington, DC?
How DARE you.
Life would get better for 330 million Americans.
— Heffner Career Transition Coaching (@HeffnerCoach) March 23, 2024
Well, you might need to adjust that figure down by about 10 million or so.
what terrifies me is if someone were to detonate a nuclear device in Washington DC, because imagine the massive hangover we would have the next day after that wild party. https://t.co/e3ORvq5hPg
— The Jokeocracy Show (qu/acc) (@the_jokeocracy) March 23, 2024
We see what you did there, Norm Macdonald.
Everyone vaccinated will be fine. https://t.co/YajmQcjKSw
— Julius (@TodaywithJulius) March 24, 2024
HA. Wow, that COVID jab is AMAZING, isn't it?
As much fun as Twitter was having with the jokes though, we'll go back to the original premise that there really is only one reason that Jacobson is writing this and The New York Post is promoting it.
Stop showing things just to scare people. Your fear mongering and you know it. https://t.co/U7zsimaCgg
— Goth_Kitty (@GothKitty11) March 24, 2024
At least Twitter showed that we're immune from the fearmongering.
And also that some of us have a SUPER dark sense of humor.
***
Editor's Note: Do you enjoy Twitchy's conservative reporting taking on the radical left and woke media? Support our work so that we can continue to bring you the truth. Join Twitchy VIP and use the promo code SAVEAMERICA to get 50% off your VIP membership!
Join the conversation as a VIP Member