We apologize in advance, Twitchy readers, but we are about to show you a gruesome murder.
No, this homicide did not take place on the streets of a blue city, like so many others, and it wasn't even committed by an illegal alien, as we have seen so often lately.
No, this brutality took place right in the very halls of Congress. The perpetrator was Florida Representative Mike Waltz. And his victim? None other than California (and China) Representative Eric Swalwell.
You may want to ask the children to leave the room. What you are about to witness is extremely graphic.
Also ... grab some popcorn:
🚨SAVAGE @michaelgwaltz brutally ROASTS Swalwell:
— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) March 20, 2024
“I find it incredibly rich Mr. Swalwell was going to come to this committee and lecture us about how China penetrates our government. I think that’s something he may know a thing or two about..” 🤣 pic.twitter.com/SKKqkGQZl3
We now go to a live reaction from Joe Rogan...
We're not sure if the crime scene unit will be able to identify the body without employing dental records or DNA evidence.
OMG no he didn’t 😂
— Paul A. Szypula 🇺🇸 (@Bubblebathgirl) March 20, 2024
Oh, yes he did. And we're loving every second of it.
— Molly Pitcher (@AmericanMama86) March 20, 2024
This is a picture of the victim before the crime took place. The individual on the right has been identified as a person of interest in the investigation.
I mean, I assumed that @ericswalwell was doing all the penetrating in that relationship… https://t.co/Gs6Qc622uF
— (((Aaron Walker))) (@AaronWorthing) March 20, 2024
Yeah, don't be too sure about that.
https://t.co/BOiWZWOz1V pic.twitter.com/7s4NUvW3GX
— Deebs (@DeebsFLA) March 20, 2024
Swalwell has to retire now.
— Dr Manhattva (@Manhattva) March 20, 2024
He will never recover from this burn.
Those are the rules. https://t.co/K8Uwk2AjHt
Incinerated beyond recognition. But as for Swalwell retiring, we could only wish to be that lucky.
O-U-C-H!!! https://t.co/YSumkkdD6c
— Yossi Gestetner (@YossiGestetner) March 20, 2024
fatality 💀 https://t.co/AxpLi6aPRq
— The Truth Monkey (@TheTruthMonkey) March 20, 2024
The finishing moves in Mortal Kombat aren't even that brutal.
This is the most gangster thing you’ll see all day! https://t.co/dWjyDZdzAQ pic.twitter.com/GgEGNFChGW
— Dennis Mitchell (@DennMitch) March 21, 2024
Suge Knight saw this exchange and had to look away.
Waltz earned himself more than a few admirers for his takedown.
https://t.co/RXI6jJzyA6 pic.twitter.com/mSt0yGPdZg
— JarBot (@jarbot15) March 21, 2024
https://t.co/yMpjRuATZP pic.twitter.com/DAA4aetpIg
— Turtle (@ElctrcTrtleLnd) March 21, 2024
I might be in love 😂 https://t.co/ltoFlM6X5s
— Lizzy Lou Who ❄️ (@_wintergirl93) March 20, 2024
We can't really blame you.
https://t.co/9Hehk35hRI pic.twitter.com/1IXvTX4dLH
— Bones (@ChimperScott) March 20, 2024
https://t.co/qHC63159BA pic.twitter.com/XJwgIcY8EF
— Kodiak Bear (@KingKodiakBear) March 20, 2024
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah https://t.co/krhFGyzTHY
— STAY salty.🧂 (@saltinesnack) March 20, 2024
Savage… https://t.co/wBTBFRj1Ph pic.twitter.com/QBKzxr46T0
— El Duderino (@SanDiegoHudie) March 20, 2024
https://t.co/EAAa8k7gwJ pic.twitter.com/YwR29ljtkC
— N$ (@Sosa530) March 21, 2024
One hundred percent, pure 24-karat gold.
OK, so there were a lot of people on Twitter who said, 'Big deal, nothing's going to happen.' Fair enough. That may be true. Swalwell is still serving in Congress and that is a crime.
But come on. If we can't appreciate a good annihilation, then we're truly lost.
For that, we thank Rep. Mike Waltz. Because we haven't seen a beating this severe since The Simpsons.
No, don't stop. We could stand to watch this video about 1,000 more times.
***
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