If John Kirby wasn't such a liar, we might feel a little sorry for him. The Biden administration trots him out to the White House Briefing Room anytime they're pretty sure that their DEI hire, Karine Jean-Pierre, isn't up to handling the job, especially when they know there will be tough questions (they should probably do that every day, but that's another matter).
But Kirby IS quite the liar, so we don't ever really feel bad for him. We just pull out the bucket of popcorn, slather on some butter, and enjoy.
Yesterday, Kirby's Gob Bluth 'I've made a huge mistake' moment came when he called on Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy on the topic of Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin. Austin, as we all remember, went off the grid over the holidays, without informing his chain of command, for what we were told was 'elective surgery' and then complications due to that surgery. Later, it was confirmed that Austin was having surgery for prostate cancer. Not exactly removing a mole, is it? Probably something people should have been told about.
Doocy, who is really the only one in the room who can consistently be counted on to be a reporter, asked two EPIC questions of Kirby.
Let the stammering non-response begin:
DOOCY: "If the administration is gonna go to such great lengths to keep secrets about the Defense Secretary's health, how can anybody be certain that the administration would not go to the same lengths to keep secret problems with President Biden's health?"
— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) January 9, 2024
KIRBY: "...It's not… pic.twitter.com/Yb6658s59B
H-Bomb Question Number 1: 'Why should we believe anything that this administration tells us about anything? Ever again?'
Our favorite part was when Kirby pretended that Doocy was interrupting him (he was not) to buy some more time to provide a better non-answer.
Then, after Kirby fumbled around with that one for a minute or so, Doocy dropped Nuke Number 2: 'If the administration is going to go to such great lengths to keep secrets about the Defense Secretary's health, how can anybody be certain that the administration would not go to the same lengths to keep secret problems with President Biden's health in the future?'
Peter Doocy should win the Pulitzer Prize for 'Saying What Everyone Is Thinking.' And if that's not a category, it should be one.
Kirby tried to dodge this question as well, basically accusing anyone who would ask such a thing of being a conspiracy theorist (because, of course). But the damage was done with the questions alone.
Never seen Kirby this utterly flustered. He knows this is a complete humiliation that cannot be spun. It's beyond telling. https://t.co/ovmNdw7ngN
— Joe Concha (@JoeConchaTV) January 10, 2024
Trying to defend the indefensible is never an easy job.
— Filippo Maria O di B 🇮🇹 🇺🇸 🇨🇭🇷🇺 (@Filippo60) January 10, 2024
If there is one thing Kirby proves with this ridiculous answer is that the ADULTS ARE MOST DEFINITELY NOT IN CHARGE.
— General Mike Flynn (@GenFlynn) January 10, 2024
🤡 🚙 https://t.co/QnNAwEG9MV
We kind of knew that already, but who better to confirm it than General Flynn?
They say they want to learn from this, yet Biden hasn't fired Austin. https://t.co/E87wc2uOQK
— jimtreacher.substack.com (@jtLOL) January 10, 2024
And he won't. No one was fired after the Afghanistan withdrawal disaster, no one was fired during the nationwide supply chain failure, and no one has been fired over the out-of-control border crisis. No one ever gets fired in the Biden administration. It is the most accountability-free presidency in history.
Kirby sounds exactly like Eric in Billy Madison when asked to discuss Business Ethics in the Academic Decathlon. These people are so damn dishonest and unspeakably dumb https://t.co/Ouw7EnQiBX
— Chet Cannon (@Chet_Cannon) January 10, 2024
LOL. We LOVE that analogy. We love it so much, here is the clip:
We don't think Kirby would ever pull out a gun though. (Well, at least we hope not.)
DOOCY FROM THE TOP ROPE! https://t.co/6D4R076Psb pic.twitter.com/JLXHeGOSMi
— Non Compliant Huckleberry (@thepocketgeek) January 10, 2024
Forget the top rope. Doocy body slammed Kirby from the top of the steel cage.
"It's certainly not good"
— zerohedge (@zerohedge) January 10, 2024
They're not even trying https://t.co/e9lw4lZ5h1
They don't need to try to be good at their jobs. Once again: zero accountability administration.
Timeline:
— David Back to the Well (@Stillsmack) January 9, 2024
Cancer diagnosis- told no one
Had surgery- told no one
Complication from surgery- told no one
ICU stay - told no one
Number 2 on vacay in PR - had no clue
What the hell am I missing? https://t.co/7cV6Vc8SCP
Yep, we think that sums up The Adventures of Lloyd Austin pretty well, actually. We should send that tick-tock to John Kirby to get a follow-up response.
First thing you learn in the military - going AWOL is bad. 🙄
— 🇺🇸 (@GAonMyMind99) January 9, 2024
Austin is a retired four-star general. Kirby is a retired rear admiral. How is this a difficult concept for either of them?
Any SECDEF who is absent in his duty and fails to notify the chain of command has committed one of the most egregious acts against this national defense of this nation. Period. @SecDef must be removed ASAP.
— Florida Renegade 🗣🙀🙏⚓ (@MsRobotoFL) January 9, 2024
We don't disagree. However, see notes above about accountability, or lack thereof, under Biden.
Perplexing - a 16 year old Working at McDonald’s knows to tell his supervisor if he will be absent from work. This administration operates below this level of maturity.
— Bob Tain (@bobtain) January 10, 2024
If only we had about 15-20 more Doocys in the press room. https://t.co/Zspso9zwiJ
— Kathleen (@Calibamawife) January 10, 2024
Most of the White House Press Corps will only remember how to do their jobs (or even what their jobs are) when a Republican becomes president again. But if Doocy is all we can get for now, we are grateful for him.
I imagine the secrets the admin is keeping (besides Biden’s health) could give War and Peace a run for its money…
— Badd Mojjo (@BaddMojjo) January 10, 2024
And that really was the only problem with Doocy's second question. He asked about keeping secrets about Biden's health 'in the future.' He should have asked if they are keeping secrets about Biden's health RIGHT NOW (and have been for three years).
We're pretty sure everyone already knows the answer to that question. But it would still be fun to see the panic ensue from Kirby or Jean-Pierre if anyone ever actually asked it.
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