If you're like us, Election Day 2023 was a whirlwind of activity, both on and off Twitter/X. Between that and the other awful stories in current events (antisemitism, terrorism, inflation, politics, and the entire nightmare of horrors), we could use a little break for something inspirational.
And what could be more inspirational than a virgin birth?
Granted, it does come as a bit of a surprise that the new Mary is a ... shark. (Yikes.) From the New York Post:
Shark at Chicago zoo gives birth — without ever having contact with a male https://t.co/GFTPfWBVlt pic.twitter.com/EyE4V2moZY
— New York Post (@nypost) November 7, 2023
OK, so technically, it's called asexual reproduction, not a 'virgin birth.' To-may-to, to-mah-to.
A shark in a Chicago zoo has made history — giving birth despite having no contact with any males.
The female epaulette shark lives in a habitat of her own at the Brookfield Zoo, located outside Chicago, where she’s lived since 2019. She hasn’t been housed with a male since her arrival, according to a press release from the zoo.
On August 23, one of the mom’s eggs hatched into a pup — only the second recorded case of an epaulette shark pup produced by asexual reproduction at an Association of Zoos and Aquariums’ accredited facility.
Parthenogenesis is extremely rare among vertebrates, but it has been known to happen in nature. However, this occasion did prompt some pretty funny responses on Twitter/X, so let's have some fun for a little while.
Oh great. Jesus shark. https://t.co/VeGBNbn20N
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) November 7, 2023
For unto you this day in the city of Chicago a Shark Savior has been born https://t.co/RQvW89wCD5
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 7, 2023
Note to the moneylenders in the temple: it's really not a good idea to upset Jesus Shark.
Response 1:
— Jimmy McJimmyFace (@Jimmy_McJohn) November 7, 2023
Have the sharks been waiting for a savior?
Response 2:
There’s a male shark in there lurking. Chicago zoo is lying.
Response 3: https://t.co/obr4LyIwnT pic.twitter.com/ptRCZGqi63
Lots of others suspected some shenanigans too. After all, the epaulette shark is nocturnal. Who knows what happens in the dark?
I mean that’s *her* story, anyway.
— Faye Hausendorff (@FayeH321) November 7, 2023
Same thing happened to my ex-fiancé according to her.
— FastChad (@FastChad1) November 7, 2023
I definitely didn’t visit the zoo 9 months ago
— Pac-man Jones (@Stephen_DeMarco) November 7, 2023
Same thing happened to my girlfriend last winter. Damndest thing
— Wes Mantooth (@WestonMantooth) November 7, 2023
And the shark babies look like Anthony Wiener.
— Mark Somerville (@slomerv) November 7, 2023
LOL. If milk just shot through your nose reading that last one, you're not alone.
But still, the religious posts were the most fun.
So today is sharkmas?
— Paul Coleman (@pcoleman76) November 7, 2023
Aww, man. We don't even have our Sharkmas tree put up yet.
Great, now the star fish are gonna have the emperor penguins execute it.
— Brennan (@TheBrennanCo) November 7, 2023
No lie, we would totally buy tickets to see 'The Passion of the Shark.'
I didn’t have Shark Jesus on my 2023 bingo card. https://t.co/tX4vbNo8M2
— Julian Racoonian (@realprsn4sure) November 7, 2023
Nor did we, but would it be a surprise in 2023?
He came back as a shark? Whoa. 2023 ain't over yet! Please please tell me the zookeeper's name is Joseph. https://t.co/BK7t0L4U9g
— Wade Anderson (@wadea) November 7, 2023
We cannot yet confirm that Mary is the name of Mama Shark, but it had better be.
Mary Megalodon https://t.co/zzogsKFH6V
— Bob Caton (@BobCaton) November 7, 2023
The Roman sharks have the chance to do the funniest thing ever https://t.co/JTUnbT09R2
— Ricardo Franco 🇺🇦🇮🇱 (@ricfranco) November 7, 2023
Shark, the herald angels sing. https://t.co/CIHNk19D8R
— Rusty S. (@TheRealRustyS) November 7, 2023
We were always partial to The Little Drummer Shark.
But there was one other theory Twitter had to offer:
https://t.co/xgfwP1WBKQ pic.twitter.com/Ib5pcWuRyY
— Fusilli Jerry (@schraderbrau88) November 7, 2023
OH NO. Baby Shark is a Sith Lord ... doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo.
Well, we hope this was a little fun break from the madness in the real world these days. In the end though, this is just nature, doing what nature does. And it is always fascinating to us. Or, as Ian Malcolm put it:
https://t.co/UsQgLIP0V4 pic.twitter.com/cAfBmM42Qb
— Jay Lampert (@MortChristenson) November 7, 2023
That it does. And it is amazing.
But if this happens with any great whites, we're sounding the alarm and calling Captain Quint.
***
Editor's Note: Do you enjoy Twitchy's conservative reporting taking on the radical left and woke media? Support our work so that we can continue to bring you the truth. Join Twitchy VIP and use the promo code SAVEAMERICA to get 40% off your VIP membership!
Join the conversation as a VIP Member