If you are reading this, O faithful Twitchy reader, then it can only mean that we all survived the great EBS/Marburg/Cell Phone/Vaccine/Zombie Apocalypse of 2023. Whew, that was a close one.
In case you missed it, at the end of September, Twitter user Gina Shirah tried to warn everyone of the coming cataclysm:
Turn off your cell phones on October 4th. The EBS is going to "test" the system using 5G. This will activate the Marburg virus in people who have been vaccinated. And sadly turn some of them into zombies.
— gina shirah (@GinaShirah81815) October 1, 2023
Now, before you go thinking we took this seriously, let us assure you, we did not. And the tweet got the Community Note it deserved.
But even with the note, after the actual House Republican apocalypse of Oct. 3, we thought everyone could use a laugh. Gratefully, Twitter was happy to oblige in response to this tweet. Here are some of the best, most creative replies and QTs.
The Center for Disease Control has some good tips for the coming Zombie Apocalypse. I’m going to be a zombie, so I don’t need them, but just in case for all you boring normies😉 https://t.co/gTbvEx6593 pic.twitter.com/02n8qIJTx1
— icanspellqwerty (@icanspellqwerty) October 3, 2023
me when the 5g activates my booster and turns me into a zombie tomorrow https://t.co/bawTnStwbR pic.twitter.com/efapyUJRzP
— TheFrankGV (@TheFrankGV) October 4, 2023
If the world holds a zombie apocalypse and there's no choreographed dancing, we ain't comin'.
Cribing your fear porn from King now?
— Kay Mother of Bears 🇨🇦 (@MommaKayBear) October 4, 2023
bad form pic.twitter.com/PhaREHxtaM
It's true. Everyone's favorite elderly lesbian aunt, Stephen King, did write pretty much this exact story back in 2006. (Spoiler alert: it wasn't his best, and the movie was even worse.)
— Cincy Browncoat - You can't take the sky from me (@cincy_browncoat) October 4, 2023
😂😂 https://t.co/qNueJ1B2Nc pic.twitter.com/SlIRgzM6Vn
— G (@TCC_Grouchy) October 4, 2023
We're not even going to explain that one. IYKYK.
You’re gonna unlock superpowers once your phone goes off don’t turn it off. https://t.co/hCVwOVQbGm
— Mutahar (@OrdinaryGamers) October 4, 2023
Aha. Conspiracy within a conspiracy. Turning off your phone is exactly what they wanted you to do. This is getting more complicated than Inception.
She’s correct BUT you CAN disinfect your phone before hand by running it in the microwave for just 15 seconds
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) October 3, 2023
Please RT for visibility 🙏 https://t.co/vzzF2rmOyU
LOL. We're just here to help.
— Wahoo Serious 🇺🇸 (@stoned_patriot) October 4, 2023
It’s been real y’all.
— ɱıƙɛ (@MikeDeezy100) October 3, 2023
I’ll be auditioning for a new, permanent guest role in The Walking Dead tomorrow apparently. https://t.co/dfxoDt4fNs
Damn, is that show still on? It's kind of becoming the undead itself, isn't it?
With their tanks and their bombs
— travis (@travisclones) October 3, 2023
And their bombs and their guns
In your head, in your head, they are crying. https://t.co/62iZsEk4P4
Look, it's not that we want the zombie apocalypse to happen, but if it means that we get Dolores O'Riordan back, we're all for it.
All I'm saying is that if this were to happen, we'd all owe George Lucas an apology https://t.co/Pbl56nAhs6 pic.twitter.com/Sc9w9s9qQb
— The Great and Unmatched Wisdom of Nero (@Adventure_Nero) October 4, 2023
don't worry, we've got the best doctor in the Cardassian Union working on a cure right now https://t.co/l1GYA2ldou pic.twitter.com/LO1heOJAgd
— 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫™ (@novakspector) October 4, 2023
Not sure what turning off your phone does. The signal will still be sent out… https://t.co/WPs97KTE28 pic.twitter.com/WgmXw7yxsb
— James Holloway (@jholloway83) October 3, 2023
You can't stop the signal, Mal. Everyone knows that. (We had to throw in a few responses for the sci-fi nerds ... because we are one with them.)
But not everyone was ganging up on poor Gina. She had some allies too. Like this guy:
https://t.co/MqBim30EIi pic.twitter.com/Q0KVEo2tEp
— Mick Ferry (@MickFerry) October 3, 2023
Scary.
There were plenty of other replies from people trying to score some silly political points off of Gina, who clearly needs some professional help. But to those people, we can only repeat what William Shatner told the Star Trek convention:
Everyone else was having fun with it. Why can't you? Hate to be the one to break it to you, but if all you see here is politics, you're not too far off from where Gina is at this point.
Anyway, we hope you had fun reading these. Assuming you are not all zombies. If you are, we apologize to Gina and are going to go download some nice recipes for sauteed brains.
***
Join the conversation as a VIP Member