As Twitchy readers know, the White House Correspondents Dinner was held tonight. It is customary for the President to make remarks that include self-deprecating humor as well as friendly (or not-so-friendly) jabs at the press corps. A comedian is then invited to roast the president and take potshots at some of the others in the room.
We watched it so you don't have to. You're welcome. It won't surprise you that our primary takeaway is that it was boring.
Biden delivered a short speech with a few self-deprecating jabs, a little humor (very little) directed at the news media (which is usually the point), spent some time slamming Trump, and then rolled out the 'democracy is at stake' nonsense that has become the siren song of the Left.
Colin Jost: “Last time I was in D.C. I left my cocaine in the White House.. Luckily the president was able to put it to good use for his State of the Union..”
— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) April 28, 2024
*Biden claps* 🥴 pic.twitter.com/UkhRwsDKFP
Then it was Scarlett Johansson's husband's turn (a.k.a, Colin Jost). The Saturday Night Live comedian's performance was a bit wimpy if you were looking for anything that made the audience or the President a bit uncomfortable.
Look, we're not professional comedians, but we think Jost could have done a much better job of roasting Biden if he wasn't such a wuss. We'll add some potential alternative jokes throughout our coverage below.
JUST IN: Colin Jost mocks Trump and Biden for being older men, says, "I'm not saying both candidates are old, but you know Jimmy Carter is out there thinking, 'I could maybe win this thing.'"WATCH pic.twitter.com/xZXP9OX4JU
— Simon Ateba (@simonateba) April 28, 2024
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He had some good lines, but those targeting the president were mostly 'Biden is old' jokes. They were amusing but somewhat one-dimensional.
Alternative Joke: 'I am honored to be invited tonight as a guest alongside President Biden … … PAUSE … '
Jost: The Republican candidate for president owes half a billion in fines for bank fraud and is currently spending his days farting himself awake during a porn star hush money trial and the race is tied? The race is tied. Nothing makes sense anymore. pic.twitter.com/59FRR2Hc3S
— Acyn (@Acyn) April 28, 2024
His swipes at former president Trump were much more direct and scathing.
Alternative Joke: 'It's great to be here tonight with First Lady, Dr. Jill Biden. For the record, if you happen to find yourself choking on your dinner at any point tonight, you're going to want to find a different doctor.'
Jost's delivery seemed a bit strained as though he was hesitant to make the jokes he knew his heavily liberal audience wouldn't like but much more comfortable taking shots at right-wing media and Trump.
COLIN JOST: "My Weekend Update co-anchor, Michael Che, was going to join me here tonight — but in solidarity with President Biden, I decided to lose all my Black support" pic.twitter.com/YG0DvqFSFC
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) April 28, 2024
The comedian's joke about Biden losing all his black support might have been his hardest hit on Biden, which received a laugh that had the feeling of nervous acceptance that it might just be true. We're not fans of most of the outlets in the room, of course, so our perception could be a bit slanted.
Alternative Joke: 'We are thrilled that President Biden could make it tonight. We were afraid he wouldn't be released from the South African prison soon enough to be here.'
Jost: They both made big strides in health care. Obama got us out of a recession, you got us out of a pandemic. Obama got bin laden, you got OJ. pic.twitter.com/W2x8YdkYFY
— Acyn (@Acyn) April 28, 2024
Jost used multiple opportunities to talk up Biden's presidency while disguising it as a joke. He even claimed the economy was doing well.
Alternative Joke: 'If you check under your seats, you'll find your 17th booster shot. President Biden is requiring you to inject yourselves before the end of my set or learn to code.'
Jost: I do think you could do more on the economy. Have you considered eliminating the national debt by shorting Trump’s stock pic.twitter.com/N6aHuG6uXS
— Acyn (@Acyn) April 28, 2024
We know normal people don't watch media bigwigs in expensive suits wining and dining each other, but if they did, they probably wouldn't agree with the wealthy comedian's perception of their economic situation.
Alternative Joke: 'I really enjoyed your speech, Mr. President. Please pass along my appreciation to whomever you plagariazed it from.'
Saturday Night Live's Colin Jost: “With the economy, the vibes are bad, but the numbers say it’s strong. The economy is kinda like you on the steps of Air Force One; it feels like it’s stumbling, but there is somehow upward progress.”#WHCD pic.twitter.com/SdolwrLtBf
— Conservative War Machine (@WarMachineRR) April 28, 2024
This was a bit of a theme for Jost - backing his way into complimenting Biden. His point was that the economy was moving up but just looked bad. Meh.
Alternative Joke: 'Mr. President, you've really been getting a bad rap on the economy. I was just telling someone the other day in the loan approval line at Arby's how good the numbers are looking.'
Jost: "It's the end of an era. Rupert Murdoch stepped down at Fox News. Which is strange – I didn't think there WAS a step down from Fox News." pic.twitter.com/h32E4KqyiY
— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) April 28, 2024
His jab at Fox News earned him a visible pair of 'bite me' grins from the father and son Doocy team who were in attendance. You know, the Peter Doocy, who is one of the few White House Correspondents willing to ask tough questions.
Alternative Joke: 'We appreciate the President skipping bingo and the ice cream social to join us. Kamala, thank you for bringing him.'
Colin Jost: "It's after 10pm. 'Sleepy Joe' is still awake while Donald Trump has spent the past week falling asleep in court every morning – though Fox News said he was just being anti-woke." pic.twitter.com/Q4jchjz8k3
— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) April 28, 2024
As we said, the entire set was just a bit anemic. Funny in the way cute cat videos are funny. You might crack a smile, but you're not going to belly laugh.
Alternative Joke: 'Mr. President, you recently told Howard Stern that lovely women use to send you racy photos. Shame on you, Dr. Jill. I'll explain it later, Mr. President.'
Jost on RFK Jr’s presidential chances: Like his vaccine card says, he doesn’t have a shot pic.twitter.com/1JID0pkDTF
— Acyn (@Acyn) April 28, 2024
He even dissed RFK Jr. because it was clear one of his goals was to poke a little fun at Biden but leave the elderly president in better shape than he found him.
Alternative Joke: 'Perhaps the best way to honor the President this evening would be to read a quote from his very own Vice President: We are here tonight to honor the President because Presidenting is honorable. The precedent of presidential presidenting is not one the President presides over lightly. For where there is precedent to preside presidentially, we find the President presidenting … Right?! (Cackle.)'
Not wanting to end the night without making it clear he was a supporter, Jost finished with a touching story about his recently deceased grandfather.
JUST IN: Comedian Colin Jost claims, "My grandpa voted for decency and decency is why we're all here tonight. Decency is how we're able to be here tonight. Decency is how we're able to make jokes about each other and one of us doesn't go to prison." WATCH pic.twitter.com/rOQVUXgq6u
— Simon Ateba (@simonateba) April 28, 2024
He claimed Biden reminded him of his grandfather because they are both 'decent' men.
Clearly, Jost was talking about a different Joe Biden than the one who's been bouncing around D.C. for the past fifty years.
Alternative Joke: 'I see the good folks at MSNBC are in attendance tonight. I have good news for you … the President has given you permission to detach long enough to enjoy your meals.'
Jost: Like many of you here tonight, I pretend to do news on TV pic.twitter.com/Cw2k9vCcEk
— Acyn (@Acyn) April 28, 2024
Okay, Colin, we like that one.
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