It's been a no-good, terrible, very bad day over at Politico. When the Trump Administration cut USAID funding, it also shut off an apparent revenue stream for Politico. It was obviously just an unfortunate coincidence that news broke that they missed payroll the same day. Politico told its employees the payroll glitch was caused by a tech issue.
What could possibly make missing payroll and getting caught in a rogue government department money scandal worse for Politico?
In a word... Pizza!
Celebrity chef and Twitchy favorite Andrew Gruel explains.
Watch.
Over $100 million to fund studies and research getting people to eat less pizza. pic.twitter.com/17lzR0rdov
— Chef Andrew Gruel (@ChefGruel) February 5, 2025
Was this the reason that New York tried to ban coal and wood-fired pizza ovens?
activist get arrested after throwing slices of pizza at NYC city hall to protest new ban on coal, and wood-fired ovens in city restaurants... Follow for more insightful posts.
— Project Shadow News (@Projectshadowus) April 16, 2024
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Activist and artist Scott LoBaido was detained outside New York City Hall after throwing pizza… pic.twitter.com/Pq6egTz6Uw
If it's proven that Politico had a part in this, they may be in big trouble. It came as no surprise that the statists running USAID were misusing taxpayer money or that the leftist lapdogs over at Politico couldn't pass up the opportunity to get their grubby little hands on some of it, but if it's proven that they are messing with American's pizza, it might be a step too far.
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THAT is truly traitorous!
— Rani, Last of The Red Hot Boomers (@ShadesOfRani) February 5, 2025
If it's true, do you think Pete Hegseth could find room at Gitmo for the pizza-slandering Politico perpetrators?
We shall feed them pizza only in Guantanamo…but only the kind currently served in public schools
— Deb (@magpiesplace) February 5, 2025
Or maybe Marco Rubio can work something out with El Salvador?
BREAKING: U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio says El Salvador's president has offered to accept deportees from the U.S. of any nationality as well as violent American criminals now imprisoned in the United States. https://t.co/CBJqzd6bgq
— The Associated Press (@AP) February 4, 2025
The environmental wackos, who would have us all eat crickets, have no idea what they are up against. Americans eat approximately 350 slices of pizza every second. That equates to Americans spending more money on pizza every day than Gavin Newsom spends on hair products. Pizza is the second favorite fast food after hamburgers. Maybe this was their plan B after failing to get rid of those methane-producing flatulent cows.
Just like the beef, we will not tolerate anyone coming for our pizza.
Gonna cost a lot more than that to get me to stop eating pizza. pic.twitter.com/A4UiguX8Ag
— BBG, Esq. (@bmetz131) February 5, 2025
Brb gonna go get pizza
— J.R. Holmsted (@JHolmsted) February 5, 2025
Wait…they used our tax dollars to try & take away Pizza?! 🍕
— SmirKing Revenge (@InvisibleHand78) February 5, 2025
If this doesn’t prove to you how much they hate us I’m not sure anything will. Basta!
Politico might be able to survive missing payroll here and there or a scandal over dark money payments from corrupt bureaucrats. Can they survive an attempt to take away our pizza?
Americans can only be expected to forgive so much. Hell, even Democrats love pizza.
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