'This is a joke, right?' Newsweek's take on 'elderly Americans' and the Mueller report might be their HOTTEST ever

According to Newsweek, the special counsel is in control of a bucket list item for many people, and it’s taking too long for some (beverage warning):

Elderly Americans are dying without getting to read Mueller's report—and they're not happy about it https://t.co/Yh3lbfrJ1b pic.twitter.com/9OS4B9uSI1

— Newsweek (@Newsweek) March 7, 2019

And once again the line between satire and “news” becomes indistinguishable:

Remember when Americans were happy about dying https://t.co/dVFqttfjua

— Conserving "Conserving Conservatism" Conservatism (@jtLOL) March 9, 2019

If they’re dead how do you know what they’re feeling? https://t.co/egSrtaAQYq

— The?FOO (@PolitiBunny) March 9, 2019

So after I read that I'll die happy? I don't think so.

— I Hate The Media ?? (@ihatethemedia) March 9, 2019

Progressives are profoundly unhealthy people. ? https://t.co/7jEQ0WhpdS

— Chad Felix Greene (@chadfelixg) March 9, 2019

Because you know, otherwise they'd be happy about dying. ? https://t.co/OzyK4pMQyJ

— Lexi Parker (@lexiparker72) March 9, 2019

Wow! There's one more article that The Onion will not be able to write.

— Positive People (@MostPositivePer) March 7, 2019

It’s amazing that The Onion is even still in business!

Uh…@TheBabylonBee, yeah?

No?@Newsweek

Oh. https://t.co/e52hFaogQy

— Greg Scott (@GScottSays) March 9, 2019

This is a joke, right? It has to be a joke.

<checks calendar and sees it's not April 1st>

Never mind.

— ? Trish or Julie? ? (@wtffiles) March 9, 2019

This is probably the worst thing I ever read, from a news outlet, ever. https://t.co/efwpqH1jZk

— Ashley Rae Goldenberg (@Communism_Kills) March 9, 2019

But the year is young.

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FFS! Newsweek headlines on Jussie Smollett’s fake attack vs. Conservative’s REAL attack are EVERYTHING wrong with media