Marco Rubio Quells Rumors About His Legendary Multitasking

Here's something a little lighter for your evening. As we reported on Wednesday, CBS News did a segment saluting Secretary of State Marco Rubio as "the ultimate Florida man" after showing AI-generated photos of Rubio as the new president of Venezuela, the new shah of Iran, the prime minister of Greenland, the new governor of Minnesota, and the head of Hilton Hotels. The jokes come as Rubio fills multiple roles in the Trump administration besides Secretary of State, including interim National Security Advisor, acting National Archivist, and USAID chief.

Rubio has obviously picked up on the memes and gave a good-natured response:

I do not normally respond to online rumors but feel the need to do so at this moment

I will not be a candidate for the currently vacant HC and GM positions with the Miami Dolphins.

While you never know what the future may bring right now my focus must remain on global events…

— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) January 8, 2026

"… and also the precious archives of the United States of America. Thank you"

Photos say otherwise:

Marco Rubio finding out he’s now the Coach and Quarterback for the Miami Dolphins @MiamiDolphins pic.twitter.com/yZA4wJCg7s

— 🆂🅼🅾︎🅺🅴 (@dantherock13) January 7, 2026

Marco Rubio realizing he’s now the Miami Dolphins head coach #MikeMcDaniel #Dolphins pic.twitter.com/1e8aodgppq

— You Are At The 2nd F (@TheGloriousMrsM) January 8, 2026

So you’re saying you’re down to QB? pic.twitter.com/r129e9xC0L

— Eli Langer (@EliLanger) January 8, 2026

Marco Rubio has been chosen as the new GM for the Miami Dolphins. pic.twitter.com/kEeXufPlMX

— Don Keigh (@trixareforlibs) January 7, 2026

pic.twitter.com/Cs4l0o5cjY

— Jorge Bonilla (@BonillaJL) January 8, 2026

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I had you in your coaching gear yesterday pic.twitter.com/kMyJXFWv0J

— Brad Essex writer (@BradEssex) January 8, 2026

What could’ve been! pic.twitter.com/k8CfiJItMl

— meta thomist 🇻🇦 (@metathomist) January 8, 2026

The pictures online say otherwise, Marco. pic.twitter.com/dDa0QaZSDZ

— Joel (@joelgaines) January 8, 2026

I noticed you didn’t deny you would consider the Ravens job…

— AG (@AGHamilton29) January 8, 2026

Oh no @SecRubio finding out he's the new head coach of the Baltimore Ravens!

As if he didn't already have enough to do! pic.twitter.com/vg1GZ9f8jI

— Brian Cates - Political Columnist & Pundit (@drawandstrike) January 8, 2026

Would you consider replacing Patullo as Eagles OC for the playoffs

— Greg Price (@greg_price11) January 8, 2026

So you’re saying Atlanta still has a chance?

— Back home in Georgia 🏆🏆 (@kimachenbach) January 9, 2026

So the Giants are out of the picture? pic.twitter.com/Pdxia4ki08

— David Gokhshtein (@davidgokhshtein) January 8, 2026

I thought there mighta been a legitimate chance if we fumble on Harbaugh pic.twitter.com/ovTbtbWyrP

— Steak for Breakfast (@SteakforPodcast) January 8, 2026

But you will be coaching Venezuela’s soccer team at the World Cup though, right?

— Hamish Mitchell (@Hmitchell) January 8, 2026

But seriously, folks:

Hey Marco, as a Venezuelan American.

I’ve got a few highlights from my life.

First up, the day I tied the knot!
Then, the day I became an American citizen.
And last but not least, the day you brought down Maduro!

I will forever love you!

— Christian Bello (@NoRiskNoParty) January 8, 2026

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Editor’s Note: Zohran Mamdani is an avowed Democratic Socialist and the mayor of New York City.

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