The last time we checked in on The Root (yesterday, to be exact), the site had just taken down for “editorial review” its post, “Evidence Shows Hackers Changed Votes in the 2016 Election But No One Will Admit It” — a post which of course had gone viral thanks to retweets from people like Donna Brazile and Seth Abramson.

We’d say The Root should stick to lighter topics — like the taste of La Croix and why “bougie black people” pretend to like it.

We’re really hoping this piece by Damon Young is tongue-in-cheek:

Although bougie black people have grown to be adaptable to all seasons, summertime is when they’re truly in their element. Between the numerous festivals, fests, day parties, block parties, clam bakes, fish fries, boat rides, and bottomless trap brunches occurring weekly in places BBP congregate, it provides them prime opportunity to see and be seen. Because what’s the point of protective styles for 11 months straight if you can’t wear your hair out for two weeks in July?

La Croix is a perpetual conundrum, as the presence of it at parties is the source of the greatest BBP-related mystery. By this point, everyone knows that, regardless of the “flavor,” it tastes like a hybrid of gentrification and erectile dysfunction. But when planning for gatherings and shopping for items, BBP still find a way to grab a case of La Croix.

We’re not going to vouch for the taste of La Croix, but we do wonder about the tastefulness of the term “bougie black people.” The always reliable Urban Dictionary defines “bougie” as “aspiring to be a higher class than one is,” and that seems to be the author’s real target.

Apparently, bougie black people can be found at “numerous festivals, fests, day parties, block parties, clam bakes, fish fries, boat rides, and bottomless trap brunches occurring weekly in places BBP congregate.” They sound like horrible people.

No. But now we want to know, what does La Croix really taste like? To black people, that is.


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