Good news: die-hard Hillary Clinton supporters seeking closure now have an alternative to hiking in the woods around Chappaqua hoping to run into the candidate who was supposed to be the first woman president.

Acknowledging that many news stories (such as celebrity obituaries) are largely drafted ahead of time with only a few dates and times left to be filled in, Newsweek has compiled stories celebrating Hillary Clinton’s landslide win on Nov. 8. It’s the safest of safe spaces for the Clinton supporters who were literally balled up on the floor and vomiting at the Javits Center that night.

A massive graveyard of content? Sounds perfect!

Hillary fan or not, the compilation of alternative reality pieces really is fascinating reading. Check out this bit from the special commemorative edition of Newsweek that wasn’t meant to be:

On Election Day, Americans across the country roundly rejected the kind of fear- and hate-based conservatism peddled by Donald Trump and elected the first woman in U.S. history to the presidency. The culminating election of a career in politics spanning three decades and arguably more experience than any other incoming president, 2016’s was not an easy race to watch, comment on or be a part of—but when the dust cleared it revealed a priceless moment in American history. The highest glass ceiling in the Western world had finally shattered.

And here’s an excerpt of a piece that was written for The Intercept:

Okay. Okay. The 2016 election is over, and Donald Trump is not going to be president of the United States of America.

We’ve all hugged our children, husbands and wives, parents, siblings, neighbors, dogs, cats, parakeets, ocelots and so forth. Some of us may have cried with relief.

Hillary fans really ought to tie a rope around their waists before heading in, so that family members can pull them back into the real world if necessary. Others might want to fast before binging on the salty, salty tears.


Recommended Twitchy Video