Sometimes it is the simple things. Twitter, and most social media, has been a tire fire in a dumpster dosed with napalm and attempted to be put out with anthracite. Yea, it’s been a bit of a slog.
So time for a palate-cleanser.
Matt Singer is a great film writer, and he just wrote a book on Spider-Man. He also has a bent view on films (he LOVES “Gymkata”), and frequently his editors send him out to eat entire menus at restaurants with movie tie-in menus. In all, he is a great follow if you like movies.
Singer came up with a relatively simple question:
Twitter poll: What is the worst movie you have ever paid to see in a movie theater?
— Matt Singer (@mattsinger) August 8, 2019
Within minutes he had hundreds of replies, and the responses were just undiluted fun. Even if you do not have an affection for bad movies (something select editors at this site possess — okay, maybe one…) there is still some nonsensical fun in seeing the amusing, and frequently pained responses.
Troy was pretty godawful. And the first Transformers movie. No wait… I also paid for the '90s Lost in Space film *and* The Big Hit with Marky Mark.
— Sharon Knolle (@sknolle) August 8, 2019
Sharon is a masochist. We all should like Sharon
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever
— Yehudi "SCI-FU" Mercado (@ymercado) August 8, 2019
Props for paying for this one. That is basically a non-movie.
Daredevil with Ben Affleck. 20 minutes into it I wished I was blind
— 30-50 Red Eye Feral Hogs (@Red_Eye_Robot) August 8, 2019
The Room far too many times
— Zach Brooks (@brooksza) August 8, 2019
We’ve all been there – and it was worth every cent.
BATTLEFIELD EARTH. My mother made me take her for Mother’s Day. So, not my fault.
— Erik W. Van Der Wolf (@ErikVanDerWolf) August 8, 2019
I also saw this with my mother, I believe also on Mother’s Day. Was Travolta the draw?
— Kevin Sheen (@TheKevinSheen) August 8, 2019
I have no answers for this…
Transformers The Last Knight. I was on a 3 hr work break and needed to review the movie. I tried walking out 30 min in and asked to get my money back, but the usher said too much time has passed in the movie to get a refund, so I went back in to embrace the suck.
— Rendy Jones (@Rendy_Jones) August 8, 2019
Maybe TOYS? Over a quarter century later, I still remember a critic, I believe @LawrenceToppman, hyperbolically describing the climax as the most chaotic spectacle since the day when the earth was formless and void and darkness was on the face of the deep.
— Steven D. Greydanus (@DecentFilms) August 8, 2019
The BRATZ movie. I learned at a very young age that doing things ironically isn’t fun when you’ve spent money on it.
— Charles Bramesco (@intothecrevasse) August 8, 2019
I finally watched all 4 Die Hard movies for the first time and absolutely enjoyed them. Pure fun flicks with an awesome main lead.
Then weeks later I saw A Good Day to Die Hard in theaters and it was like this pic.twitter.com/PrKYZy9BMC
— Nathan Snyder (@nateallensnyde) August 8, 2019
Jack and Jil. But we didn't technically pay to see it. We pad for the Inbetweeners movie and explained to the clerk that we were going to see Jack and Jil but didn't want to give Adam Sandler our money.
— Patrick Marlborough needs an ABC hat (@Cormac_McCafe) August 8, 2019
Showgirls. I was young. Dumb. Single. A fan of Saved By the Bell.
And not only was I stupid enough to pay to see it, I was further humiliated when the ticket guy asked to see my ID. I don't know if he was checking my age or adding my name to a watch list.
— Chris Ryall (@chris_ryall) August 8, 2019
I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry
My friends wanted to go. I haven’t seen those people in years.
— Weva Blanket (@WevaBlanket) August 8, 2019
You made a wise life decision.
DOUBLE TEAM. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dennis Rodman vs. Mickey Rourke at the height of everybody's drug problem. So bad I walked out and into ANACONDA instead.
And ANACONDA was immeasurably better.
— David Hines (@hradzka) August 8, 2019
As a nation, we have tried to forget the attempt to make Dennis Rodman a movie star.
Batman v Superman. The Martha scene had me embarrassed to even be in the theatre
— Adam Rasmusseñ (@AdamJRasmussen) August 8, 2019
Sure, we have all been there. But at least “Suicide Squad” came along and eclipsed all those bad feelings.
Matt comes up with one that is staggering:
Mine might be THE DEVIL INSIDE. I’ve never heard an audience who didn’t pay to see a movie boo so loudly as at the end of that one.
— Matt Singer (@mattsinger) August 8, 2019
Is that the one where it tells you to go to a website that no longer exists to watch the climax?
— Brad Westness (@BradWestness) August 8, 2019
This is true. The film had no real ending — you had to go online after the film to find out what happens as a climax. Astounding to behold.
American cinema is terrible on all fronts. I’ll never see an American film in theaters again…except for Rambo Last Blood. I’ll stick to foreign films after that. Clowns.
— Lil Bobby and the Juice (@bobfinstock) August 8, 2019
Just the perfect denouement to this effort.
Hope you at least feel a little better.
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