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The Babylon Bee roasts Andrew Tate as only they can

AP Photo/Alexandru Dobre

As you know, last night Tucker Carlson devoted more than two hours to interviewing Andrew Tate and we were very disappointed in the quality of the journalism involved. We believe that because Tate was articulate and he was saying many things that Carlson wanted to hear, that Carlson was effectively conned into thinking that he wasn’t dealing with a serious scumbag that no person of good character would defend. Put aside the legality of his conduct and just read how Tate described his behavior:

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I’ve been running a webcam studio for nearly a decade, I’ve had over 75 girls work for me, and my business model is different than 99% of webcam studio owners. Over 50% of my employees were actually my girlfriend at the time and, of all my girlfriends, NONE were in the adult entertainment industry before they met me.

Here’s another lovely quote from him:

My job was to get women to fall in love with me. Literally, that was my job. My job was to meet a girl, go on a few dates, sleep with her, test if she’s quality, get her to fall in love with me to where she’d do anything I say, and then get her on webcam so we could become rich together.

Yet, unfortunately many conservatives were bamboozled into thinking he was, if not one of them, a person worth protecting who is being persecuted. And more than a few people who were not being taken in noted the irony that while the conservative movement was supporting Sound of Freedom, many others were supporting this moral cesspool. But leave it to the Babylon Bee to put their finger on the issue as only they can:

Our favorite line from the totally true article is at the very end: 'At publishing time, Angel Studios had also announced the villain for the 3rd film in the franchise: Hunter Biden.'

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Their best jokes are often just a matter of pointing out contradictions. We would understand if people are ignorant of Tate. We admit we never heard of him until relatively recently. So now is the time to learn who he really is and see through his charade. For instance, this video where an attorney breaks down how much Tate has hung himself with his own words is really worth watching in its entirety. It is basically what the blogging world calls a Fisking, playing clips from Tate's own seminars and occasionally breaking in to comment on it:

Our only two critiques of the video are 1) Mr. Rivers is too defensive of claims that evidence is being taken out of context and 2) he talks extensively of American law and gives no indication he knows anything about Romanian law.

Still, watch the video. It’s excellent. We expressed skepticism last night whether Tate could rightfully be charged with a crime. But watching the clips Mr. Rivers discusses erases that doubt. Tate confessed to conduct that would rightfully be criminal under American law. And while last night we wrote that '[what Tate admitted to doing] doesn’t sound very different from classic ‘pimp’ behavior,' in the clips Tate himself compares himself to a pimp. Regardless of legality, this man is a scumbag.

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Also, it might open some eyes to guys who are being tricked by these kinds of camgirl schemes. That sexy girl you are chatting with online by text? That might actually be a dude pretending to be her in the next room.

What it comes down to is this:

There is an old saying that 'the enemy of your enemy is your friend.' And that saying is just plain wrong in many cases. Yes, the enemy of your enemy might make a useful ally. For instance, in World War II, we famously allied with Stalin to help defeat Hitler. But Stalin and the communist regime he headed were not our friends, and while we don’t mind that our leaders made nice with Stalin—we did need his help in the fight against Hitler—we hope they were never foolish enough to forget that they were playing footsie with a mortal enemy. And, in all frankness, we don’t need Andrew Tate as an ally against anything.

No, true conservatives don’t defend guys who admit they act like pimps.

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We’ll accept that Tate is innocent in the eyes of the criminal law until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt—even if we don’t know if Romania takes the same attitude. In terms of deciding what kind of person Tate is and whether we should support him, Tate has hung himself with his own words, as far as we are concerned.

One commenter on the YouTube video we shared above says…

I cannot believe I just watched that man confess on video so extensively. I've never seen anyone in their right mind snitch on themselves like that

… and you, dear reader, might reasonably say 'why would he do something so stupid?' Well, the answer is when Tate made the video Mr. Rivers quotes extensively from, he thought he was right and the world would eventually see how right he is. Very few people who are bad actually believe they are bad, and so when you ask them what they are doing and why, they are often completely honest about it. Tate told on himself so extensively in the past because he genuinely thought there was nothing wrong with what he did. Now he realizes he is in trouble and he seems to understand he was hanging himself with his own words, so he is trying to fake being something other than a scumbag. That was what the interview last night was: An attempted PR makeover. He’s trying to say he is just a philosopher of masculinity when pretty recently he was telling us how he was a pimp for the digital age.

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But as we noted last night, even as you listen to Carlson’s very friendly interview and think critically, you will see flashes of who Tate really is. As we said last night:

Ironically, he seemed to be telling on himself. He talked about how bad things wear a cloak of virtue, while proudly wearing a cloak of virtue. And, basically, this guy who claims to have a harem was talking about how a rich guy will end up having something like 30 beautiful girlfriends, leaving 29 lonely guys who don’t get those girls. Indeed, every time he talked about the value of women, he talked about it solely in terms of attractiveness. This is not a man who will grow old with a woman, finding value in her as they reach their twilight years. This is a guy who will always chase around the 20-year-old girls and will eventually die alone.

To share another reaction:

We think there is a great deal of truth in what Mr. Elliot is saying (although we have always believed that someone sympathetic to Ukraine is the most obvious culprit in the Nordstream pipeline explosion), but however you slice it, Carlson got rolled. And we don’t say this to beat him up or the other people Tate seduced last night. Instead we want to show you, in his own words (which he has apparently memory-holed), who Tate really is.

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And the clip highlighted is actually pretty infuriating. While not every fight is good versus evil and only one man in human history has been purely good, there have been times when one side was clearly in the right and the other was clearly in the wrong. World War II is one example. And contrary to what Tate thinks, America’s war against Afghanistan was another.

We aren’t even upset that Carlson interviewed him. We just feel like basic journalism would have required Carlson to learn about these awful things Tate had said, and to confront Tate with those words.

We are pretty sure that is sarcasm, but not 100% sure.

In any case, we will leave you with Dana Loesch absolutely torching Tate:

We get the feeling that whenever she was talking about what true masculinity was, she was thinking of her husband … and that’s what we call winning.

***

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