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State Dept: TWO-YEAR-OLD CHILD imprisoned in North Korea (and it gets worse from there)

We first saw this over at the Not the Bee, the publication dedicated to stories so ridiculous that they sound like satire, but are actually real, and this one is a doozy:


We did a little googling around and the source of all this is a State Department report, which doesn’t even name or identify the sex of the child.

Still, the age alone tells you how screwed this whole thing is. The child is unlikely to have more than the barest conception of what Christianity is. Like just by what we know about children, we estimate there is about a 90% chance that the toddler actually put that bible in his or her mouth. The only question is if mom or dad turned their backs long enough for that to happen, and we are reliably informed that at that age, children can actually teleport.

Sorry for the dark humor, but it’s how we cope with ugly news.

Of course, what this is about is guilt by association. Not even the North Korean government is crazy enough to think that a two-year old is in any way meaningfully culpable and deserving of life in prison, but the point isn’t to punish the child for culpable behavior: It is to terrorize everyone who is old enough to understand what they are doing. That terror can be used as leverage to get one family member to more thoroughly implicate another family member (or themselves) in the hopes of helping the two-year-old escape punishment. And it can be used to terrorize anyone else thinking of breaking these rules because they know it isn’t just their freedom on the line.


Incidentally, the Constitution explicitly prevents this in the case of treason (by prohibiting the corruption of the blood), and it’s generally agreed that the due process clauses of the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments implicitly prevents collective punishment. But that just because something is prohibited, doesn’t mean it never happens. From Andrew McCarthy in the Hill:

Instead, [Michael Flynn’s lawyers] maintain that Flynn was coerced into pleading guilty nearly a year later by special counsel Robert Mueller’s team of hyper-aggressive prosecutors. Prosecutors did this, Powell argues, by threatening that if he refused to plead, they would prosecute his son. The son, also named Michael Flynn, worked in Gen. Flynn’s private intelligence firm, which Team Mueller was scrutinizing over its alleged failure to register with the government as a foreign agent — a dubious allegation that was rarely handled as a criminal offense before Mueller’s probe.


We now know that this was being done on sort of an ‘Al Capone’ approach to law enforcement. Mueller knew, absolutely knew, that there was Russian collusion, so he did his best to get Trump’s allies on anything he could. Then they could use that as leverage to make them ‘flip’ on Trump to get that evidence. Dirty fighting was justified because he was certain of Trump’s ultimate guilt. Except now we know there was no evidence of Russian collusion to begin with.


Going forward, we believe it should be illegal to even suggest a deal where one person might plead guilty to protect someone he or she loves.

But to return to the North Korea story, naturally people were horrified:


All people have a God-given right to rebellion to resist oppression and North Korea more than qualifies.

They probably think it’s a great idea. They are pretty awful when it comes to human rights.


No tyrannical government wants its citizens to believe in any concept of right and wrong outside of what the state tells them. The idea of a higher morality is always dangerous to tyrants.

We think it is very cool that google translate often helps us to understand people we otherwise wouldn’t. According to the program, this is what he is saying (leaving out the emojis):

A Bible in North Korea is the ’cause’ to imprison FOR LIFE an entire family with a 2-YEAR-OLD baby included.!! That is the danger, for those who ‘flirt’ with the Ideology of COMMUNISM, today disguised as ‘Democratic Socialism’, the 21st century, etc, because these ATROCITIES are committed only under this abominable doctrine.

Solid comment, made understandable to this author by technology! We live in truly amazing times.


Finally, a prayer:

Yes, nothing wrong with praying for justice, including some for the regime in charge. Sometimes justice will come in this life. Sometimes it comes in the next life. But we believe justice always comes.


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