twitchys 2013

When politicians, journalists, and celebrities write ill-considered tweets, they often reach for the “delete” button as quickly as they can, hoping to erase the evidence of their foolishness before anyone notices. Unfortunately for them — but fortunately for you! — that trick hardly ever works. Thus, we present the twenty best deleted tweet events of 2013!

Note to Twitchy app users: In order to see all of the deleted tweets, you may need to load the post in your browser.

20. In the wake of George Zimmerman’s acquittal, actress Kirstie Alley said that white people like to murder black people. Or something.

kirstiealley

“We”? Was Kirstie admitting to some sort of crime? Of course not, but those are the kinds of mistakes one can make when in a hurry to jump aboard a bandwagon.

19. Mötley Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx recently called “Duck Dynasty” patriarch Phil Robertson a racist, homophobic “a-hole.” We pointed out the time the Mötley Crüe bassist used the N-word. Oh, and the time he hurled an anti-gay slur. We’re generous like that.  After we published our post, sneaky Sixx quietly deleted his tweets.

http://twitter.com/#!/NikkiSixx/status/413914119469674496

http://twitter.com/#!/NikkiSixx/status/413924928258191360

http://twitter.com/#!/NikkiSixx/status/413925720398651392

And the award goes to …

http://twitter.com/#!/NikkiSixx/status/413930001549905920

Now Sixx is singing a new tune.

18. CBS News’ White House correspondent Major Garrett is not f-ing kidding about your shirty business. In a rare hat trick of deleted tweet, funny typo, and accidental tweeting of DM, Garrett showed Twitter he’s not to be messed with!

http://twitter.com/#!/MajorCBS/status/301006957173673984

17. Whenever there’s an attack on American soil, if there’s any question about the intentions of the attacker, you can be assured that lefties will scramble all over themselves to blame conservatives, and if you’re lucky, the Tea Party. But usually it’s not a U.S. Forest Service PR rep!

http://twitter.com/#!/ForestInsider/status/323927693114609665

You would think that the “Director of Public Affairs for the Southern Region of the U.S. Forest Service” might be more careful about her relations with the public. But you would be wrong.

16. Graeme Zielinski, communications director for the Wisconsin Democratic Party, has a history of making sensational claims about Gov. Scott Walker. (Correction: He is the former communications director for the Wisconsin Democratic Party.) Last year, he suggested that Walker defended criminals who commit “boy rape.” This year, he took it a step further, making a comparison between the Republican Governor and serial killer/cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer:

http://twitter.com/#!/gjzielinski/status/307533106817146882

http://twitter.com/#!/gjzielinski/status/307527092168433664

It was a tough call, but the honor goes to this one:

http://twitter.com/#!/gjzielinski/status/307529620037713920

15. Like a lot of liberals, the Democratic mayor of New Jersey’s fourth-largest city believes that the problems with HealthCare.gov were caused by Republican shenanigans:

http://twitter.com/#!/MayorBollwage/status/391691820113358849

By the way, what the heck is “robot calling”?

14. Fox News anchor Shepard Smith’s people “confirmed” that shots were fired outside the White House when the real story was that some idiot was throwing firecrackers.

13. “Real journalists” really wanted the story of the Sandy Hook father who was “heckled” by gun rights supporters to be true, even though it definitely was not. Even some lefty outlets like Slate admitted they blew the story. CNN’s Anderson Cooper must have gotten the memo just before he deleted this tweet:

shouted-down

12. Van Jones wants you to know that Fox News is “PATHETIC.” Unfortunately for him, the Photoshop that “proved” his point was a fake.

van-jones-fox-photoshop

11. A former Afghanistan Ambassador falsely accused U.S. soldiers of killing the last lion in Kunar province. Problem is, there are no lions in the wild in Afghanistan, and the photo is fake.

http://twitter.com/#!/AmbassadorJawad/status/415815989725765632

lion-killed

10. Agence France-Presse’s Emal Haidary definitely wasn’t the only one who tweeted out a bogus story about Sarah Palin arriving in South Korea for Nelson Mandela’s funeral, but he may have been the only professional journalist to do so.

http://twitter.com/#!/menh0/status/410726112868573185

9. CNN’s Christiane Amanpour wished human rights abuser Robert Mugabe a happy birthday:

http://twitter.com/#!/camanpour/status/304707026586570752

How sweet! After deleting her celebratory tweet, and replacing with a more benign recognition of the milestone, she tried to act as if she had been ironically tweeting. Then why delete it, Alanis Morissette?

8. When “Fast and Furious” movie star Paul Walker died last month, Jezebel editor Erin Ryan took the occasion to show everyone just how classy she can be:

http://twitter.com/#!/morninggloria/status/406984650503245824

After doubling down on her hatred and blaming conservatives, she deleted the tweet. But not before we took notice.

7. Given the trash that flows freely out of Sarah Silverman’s gutter mind without apology, it took a lot for her to top herself and tweet something so awful that she was forced to delete it. Oh, here it is:

http://twitter.com/#!/SarahKSilverman/status/350027506272829440

Actually, Gov. Perry had found the word offensive and painted over the epithet. After deleting the three separate times she deceptively insulted Perry, Silverman tried to explain it away by saying the tweets were too negative. That hasn’t stopped her before.

After her pitiful walkback, she was spanked for losing her ongoing fight for laughs.

6. Pastor and televangelist Joel Osteen usually tweets benign inspirational Christian messages, which made this deleted tweet the “best unintentionally awesome tweet ever”:

Either Osteen was radically changing his stance on lust, or he didn’t quite see all the possible hilarious interpretations of his well-meaning message. Since he deleted it, we imagine it was the latter.

5. What’s a list of worst tweeters without the man, the myth, the toupee, the one and only (thank God) Donald Trump? In one little tweet, the Donald embarrassed organizers who invited him to speak at CPAC when he ridiculously announced that Ashley Judd was “going to be a great candidate” for U.S. Senate:

http://twitter.com/#!/realDonaldTrump/status/311471076972580864

He deleted the tweet, and covered by trying to blame Karl Rove. Judd decided not to run, but unfortunately The Donald continues to tweet.

4. We’re not sure what we did to have Britain dump their useless political commentators on our shores, but it sure isn’t helping international relations to have Piers Morgan make bogus claims to satisfy his gun-grabbing gluttony:

http://twitter.com/#!/piersmorgan/status/379744807167340544

Musket is picking up a sweet 2013 Twitchy award for this one:

http://twitter.com/#!/piersmorgan/status/379749140734828545

Morgan was just salivating at the chance to to blame the AR-15 for the Washington Navy Yard shooting, but he had to delete his tweets after he learned that the accused shooter didn’t use an AR-15. Oddly, this tweet is still live:

3. Remember when Rolling Stone magazine insulted everyone by featuring a rock ‘n roll cover of Boston Bomber Dzhokhar Tzarnaev? Its senior editor thought he’d defuse the situation by making an obscene joke to make light of the furor. Didn’t work:

He deleted the tweet and apologized for the joke, but not for the offensive cover that imagined Tzarnaev as a rock star.

2. Coming in at number two of the top deleted tweets of 2013 is the ridiculously obscene insult blithely tweeted by a foul-mouthed staffer at The Onion against the 9-year-old actress Quvenzhané Wallis:

http://twitter.com/#!/TheOnion/status/305900584278556672

Wow. You like to be edgy, Onion, but you pirouetted right over the edge on that one, and Twitter was not amused!

1. And now, the number one deleted tweet of 2013 honor goes to … Geraldo “Capone Vault” Rivera! Long before Barack Obama made the selfie devoid of all coolness, Geraldo sent a selfie via Tweet that “launched a thousand breakfasts”:

With just one press of the send button, Geraldo made an entire internet turn in revulsion, and forever lose its innocence. Truly, we will never be the same thanks to the terrible tweeting of that stomach-turning selfie on that day that will live in tweetfamy.

* * *

If your favorite deleted tweet didn’t score a Twitchy award, stay tuned. More awards are on the way.

  • None Of The Above

    Face that launched a thousand breakfasts – still as funny today as when I first read it. Good list by the way!

  • NatesMama

    I could have lived the rest of my life happily and nightmare-free without seeing that Geraldo picture ever again.

    • Worship Dancer

      this is DEFINITELY required again. thanks twitchy.

      • Worship Dancer

        think i also need this.

  • Dirtt

    Malkin “The SEIU Dragonslayer” came into my prism around 2004-2005. And now The 2013 Twitchys?

    Fearless woman. Journalistic prowess. Media genius. Power Mom. Patriot of the Highest Order.

    God Bless Her.

  • Clete Torres

    Excellent compilation. I’m certain it was very difficult to cull the list down from the thousands of ridiculous tweets sent out by the left over the past year.

    • MNWoman

      I am eagerly waiting for more compilation lists. There are a lot of gems to choose from.

      • Clete Torres

        Thousands. And that’s just from Alec Baldwin…

  • Love of Country

    That was great (and sometimes insightful) entertainment. Thank you, Twitchy!

  • MNWoman

    Oh, come on Twitchy, only a top 20? I am quite sure there are far, far more notable nominees.

    Could you at least do a list of honorable mentions?

    Also, there is still 4 days left in 2013. Do not underestimate the stupidity of the left. There are still many, many lefties who are capable of saying really stupid things.

    • http://www.grouchyconservativepundits.org/ Rusty Bill

      Yep. Be interesting to see what their wishes for the New Year are…

      • MNWoman

        Piers Morgan: I wish to become relevant.

        Edited:
        Piers Morgan: I wish more people would read my tweets directly from my timeline instead of reading them on Twitchy.
        (Similar wishes from MSNBC…they wish more people would watch them on television rather than through hilights on conservative news websites)

    • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

      It’s sort of like picking the finalists for the Darwin Awards, so many possibilities.

    • nc ✓s & balances

      Remember, these are just the DELETED ones. Libbies usually leave their stupid out there for all to see.

  • NRPax

    I am reminded of this strip with the Geraldo picture.

    • 97E

      omg thank you for posting this!

      • NRPax

        God bless mom, dad and Scott Adams.

    • Worship Dancer

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh that was great. YOU WIN THE INTERNET TODAY.

  • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    None of those tweets contains seemingly conclusive evidence of TUI. Those people were sober as the judge, for the most part, you’d have to figure. You don’t know whether to laugh at their stupidity in thinking that nobody noticed what asses they made of themselves, or to despair for the state of the world if they thought anyone would go along with what they originally tweeted (sadly, all too many might).

    • TexasMom2012

      TUI? Is that Tweeting while Intoxicated? LOL

      • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        “Tweeting Under the Influence” (of whatever intoxicant).

    • Jay Stevens

      Or #3:
      Their stupidity in trying to use the [Delete] key on the internet.

  • MNWoman

    I hope the Twitchy staff will have some more year end summaries.

    I love Twitchy. They bring some much needed humor to the brutal political environment.

    If they have a list of nominees for dumbest tweet of the year (either by a public figure or a “regular” person) I nominate this:

    http://twitchy.com/2013/10/02/mega-derp-constitutional-amendments-arent-laws-but-obamacare-is-a-law/

    Harry Lawrence @thatswhatsup333

    @Bidenshairplugs @Soxfan76 The second amendment is an amendment not a law which means it can be amended! #ACA is law and constitutional!

    • Right Wired ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      Yeah, like category awards – like MRC does? Twitchiest Celeb Tweet, Twitchiest Jurno Tweet, Twitchiest Government Tweet…

      • MNWoman

        Well, they have a lot of material to choose from.

        They may have to work around the clock to sort through all of them before the end of the year…only 4 days left.

    • Catchance

      Oh, yes!!! That was definitely a favorite of mine.

    • Worship Dancer

      that was a good one. i also think Cher’s tweet to her followers to “boycott” the passing of the late term abortions ban in Texas by NOT having sex with their men. um yea cher, no sex is called ABSTINENCE. 100% effective birth control method. no sex = no pregnancies = no need for abortion.

  • Right Wired ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    God Bless Twitchy! What a great year of coverage. Personally, I would have picked Piers for #1, but I know how Twitchy’s founder feels about stache-face

    edit: By they by: “By the way, what the heck is “robot calling”?”

    Robot calling is when a company (usually a non-profit) uses a number of computers or servers to make tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of calls with a recorded message, usually asking them to do something (like vote a certain way). A machine of that type could be used to jam or clog up lines (like an 800 number) but that type of harassment is wholly illegal.

    • speechchic101

      The term is actually robo-calling, which is why they made the comment.

    • Michael Rice

      I think the point was he called it “robot” instead of “robo”…

    • H50 ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      I was picturing the robot from Lost in space, sitting at the phone all day….

      • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

        PennyRobinsonFanClub, if you’re on… can we get a ruling on this, please… XD Jawamax 8<{D}

        • H50 ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

          DANGER Will Robinson!

      • Worship Dancer

        DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER

  • http://extremesplash.wordpress.com/ Ben Bollman

    With Piers Morgan the tweets he leaves are worse than the ones he deletes.

  • 24fan

    None of em ever seem to get it. Twitter/ aka twitchy is forever!

  • Albert Schmitlap.

    I don’t tweet except when I see someone making a complete, lying azz of themselves like each and EVERY liberal…Dang my twitter is getting tired….LMAO

  • Kristy Patullo

    I didn’t know about the one re: Sarah Palin and South Korea. That’s pretty funny. Shows how gullible people can be when they dislike someone so much. Another win for Sarah Palin. The Geraldo selfie still haunts me.

    • Worship Dancer

      this might help a little

  • CrusadaB

    Geraldo…MY EYES! AGAIN!

    • Worship Dancer

      EYE BLEACH. i think twitchy owns stock. i have brain bleach too if you need it.

  • Fhalkyn Phoenix

    For the best bait-and-switch, I nominate December 25’s “Rev. Jesse Jackson Sr. Goes to Jail.”

    http://twitchy.com/2013/12/25/rev-jesse-jackson-sr-goes-to-jail/

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      I SECOND, Fhalkyn!!! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • agentm0m

    One click of a mouse and I can send all those deleted tweets out to the world, in a tweet of my own. Technology is truly wonderful . . . sometimes.

  • agentm0m

    Oh and BTW, you HAD to show us (again) that photo of Geraldo. You just had to do it, didn’t you Twitchy? Thanks for ruining my morning.

    • Worship Dancer

      they just HAD to do that.

  • AlmostaCowboy

    Kirsty couldn’t “jump” if her lunch depended on it.

    • TocksNedlog

      Yes she could.

    • ozconservative

      I bet she could jump high enough to slam dunk a basketball if there was a Big Mac sitting on the rim.

  • Julie the Jarhead

    I know I’m in the minority, but … For a guy his age, Geraldo looks pretty fit.

    • TocksNedlog

      He’s a true inspiration. Why, just looking at him makes me want to skip breakfast, lunch AND dinner . . . forever.

  • http://www.esquire.com/features/obama-lethal-presidency-0812 Qaeda Chieftain Hussein O.

    Great list

  • SpaceRacer423

    AAAHHHHHHHAHH !!!! DONT LOOK AT #1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    .
    WHY TWITCHY !?!?!? WHY !?!?!?!
    Why couldn’t #1 be a hyper link with a warning label?
    .
    Some things belong in a vault.
    This crosses the line in the sand.
    Someone tell Geraldo to put on a d*mn hoodie or something.

    • therantinggeek

      The industrial-strength mindbleach is in the janitor’s closet. Help yourself.

      • SpaceRacer423

        thanks,
        ..
        ..
        hey, there’s no bleach in here!
        Just this .5 liter bottle of Everclear……oh .. ok.. that’ll work.

        • 97E

          Just gently open the top of your cranium and pour inside.

          No need to wash it out. If you do, you won’t get the full effect.

          =p

        • Worship Dancer

          here just in case. 😉

    • Taxpayer1234

      Too late–I just lost my breakfast. Dammit, Twitchy!

    • Worship Dancer

      i think twitchy has stock in eye and brain bleach

  • RickM

    That list, expanded, would make a cool book.

  • Lou Bator

    I still can’t get over Pierce Moron and those other British clowns commenting on our lifestyle and way of life. They can’t even speak the language!

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    Twitchy ~ The Finest SnarkNation Award, Evah!

    Keep On Keepin’ On…Listing ‘Em, that is… ;’)!

    GrinsN’Giggles, GigglesN’Grins ~ “You Can Have It Both Ways!”

    Many Thanks from OLLPOH ~ Our Life Liberty Pursuit Of Happiness

  • TocksNedlog

    Colonel Kurtz has a couple of words to say about #1

    “The horror. . . . The . . . HORROR!!!”

  • cabinboy422

    Sarah Silverman’s slanderous tweets against Rick Perry is the most offensive because it completely twists the truth of a situation around to promote a false impression of the man. She may have not known better at first, but I seriously doubt she really cared about the truth.

    • therantinggeek

      Truth is usually anathema to Leftists such as Ms. Silverman. #mytwocents

    • Michelle ✓classified

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Jimmy Kimmel dodged a bullet.

      • H50 ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        Or a huge STD/boiling bunny problem.

  • Timmmmm

    Cher would have easily made the list except that moron doesn’t delete her ridiculous comments…..

  • JustMyOpinion

    to many liberals, to many horrible tweets from them..

  • Red Fred

    Malkin should have a featured show on FOX. Oh wait, she thinks too fast, and can generate an answer for the next question while answering the question at hand.

  • https://youtu.be/h82D5ZvcALM CrustyB

    Talk about a “target rich” environment.

  • neoface

    It appears that tweeter brings stupid out of people, or they were stupid to begin with, it just took tweeter to oust them. LOL!!!!

  • CO2 Producer

    Re: #16:

    Graeme Zielinski, communications director for the Wisconsin Democratic Party

    Correction/reminder: Zielinski is now known as the former communications director for the Wisconsin Democratic Party.

  • pdigaudio

    This would launch a thousand breakfasts and lunches: The Helen Thomas Playboy centerfold.

  • Ruth

    My favorite is Van Jones and the Russian meteor. He may think Lord O can control meteors but I don’t think there are any conservatives who are that gullible.

  • Will B Good

    Fantastic list!

    That being said, I’m grabbing Listerine and my trusty ear syringe to get rid of the Geraldine selfie that made #1…

    Extra Listerine and ear syringes on the table to the right for anyone who needs it 😉

  • H50 ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Id forgotten about some of these, thanks for the year in review Twitchy.

    Id also hoped never to see the Jerry Rivers selfie again. Launched another breakfast.

  • Jake Bradford

    There are farm animals with more intelligence & common sense than dear Kirstie.

  • Buffalobob

    Not a tweet but a brilliantly, blinding statement by a dim bulb named Susan Rice. “There have been cases where they have inadvertently made false representations. And they themselves have discovered it and corrected it,” Rice said Note to Mrs. Rice, there called flat out lies.

  • Renny

    Hahaha, ‘Capone Vault’. Heeheehee.

  • MKM

    I made the Geraldo selfie my supervisor’s wallpaper on his computer. He was appalled. It was great!

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    No Butt Meddler? No Cher? No Kathy Griffin, or Rosie, or Rosanne? Well, they said “stay tuned”, so we’ll see if those losers win a Twitch… Jawamax 8<{D}

  • LegalizeShemp

    “There was nothing in Al Capone’s vault, but it wasn’t Geraldo’s fault, hot cha cha cha”…..Sincerely, Jimmy Durante

  • Markward

    DARNIT TWITCHY!

    Not the Geraldo Selfie, just when I was glad to be rid of that image, you come along and plant it right back!

  • linnicy

    Thank you, Michelle and Twitcy team. You keep things real and TRUTHFUL. I enjoy a good laugh. I am surprised Cher did not make the grade, though. See you in ’14!