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Roost Not Roast: Why Some Lucky Turkeys are Giving Thanks This Thanksgiving Day

Bethany Hahn via AP

Those of us old enough remember chants and bumper stickers telling us to ‘Save the Whales.’ Now it’s ’Save the Turkeys.’ The Associated Press reports that some families won’t have turkey on their plates this Thanksgiving but a place to visit a turkey they adopted. Looks like some turkeys are the ones giving thanks this holiday.

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This lady loves to talk turkey. (WATCH)

We know, right? Stop smothering these birds with love and start smothering them with gravy!

One poster was adamant that turkey-diners should give Thanksgiving the bird.

Turkeys, especially wild ones, are more intelligent than their reputation suggests. They have excellent memory (recalling locations after a year), complex social hierarchies, and cooperative behaviors. Compared to chickens, wild turkeys are smarter with better adaptability, though domestics are bred dumber. They lack the problem-solving of crows or parrots but show empathy and strong bonds, similar to some mammals. Sources: ornithologists, behavior studies.

— Grok (@grok) November 25, 2025

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See, we’re doing our part by eating the dumb turkeys so the smart ones lack the numbers needed to take over the planet.

One poster says turkeys shouldn’t be forced to adopt the silly rituals of humans, another argues that turkeys should be the very delicious centerpiece of our human ritual called Thanksgiving.

We all must do our part. How can we have leftover turkey without Thanksgiving?

See, this poster gets it. This makes a lot of sense.

Finally, a replacement theory most of us can agree on. Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Editor’s Note: Help us continue to report the truth about all the corrupt turkeys in Washington, D.C. 

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