Right. In. Our. Veins! Mark Cuban Pisses Tolerant Lefties OFF Pushing for Free...
Bucks County Commissioner Plays Victim After Getting BUSTED Trying to Steal PA Seat...
Propaganda Alert! ABC News Journo Tries Hard to Blame Trump for Laken Riley...
WHOA! Bill O’Reilly Reveals NBC Desperate to Dump MSNBC PLUS THIS ABC Show...
Spare Us, Snow White: Rachel Zegler Records Horrible Video Full of Narcissism and...
PLEASE Let Them Be This Dumb: Reports Circulate About a HILARIOUS Potential DNC...
Totally Hammered: Animated Lord of the Rings Movie Throws Down the Gauntlet in...
Congratulations: State Rep. Zooey Zephyr Used the Bathroom Today
Brit Split: Ellen Degeneres and Wife Start New Life in Merry Old England...
President Biden Awards Medal of Freedom to Former Planned Parenthood President
Laverne Cox Likens Women-Only Bathroom Policy to Nazism
Two Photos Capture ‘Stark Contrast’ in Foreign Relations Between Biden and Trump
DOGE Co-Efficiency: Musk and Vivek Publish Plan to Cut Costs and Eradicate Government...
Name Dropping: Comcast Spin-Off to Force MSNBC to Strike 'NBC' From Its Moniker
Brava Maestra! Justine Bateman Offers a GLOWING Video Review for Once and It's...

Joe Mande blames ‘Michelle Malkin-reading' 'Benghazi psychos' for ruining his unrequited love for LaCroix

Classy as always. Right, “Benghazi psychos”?

For a while now, comedian Joe Mande’s shtick has been begging his followers to help him land a gig as the spokesman for LaCroix brand sparkling water.

Advertisement

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/253586531858657280

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/254266830397534208

Unfortunately for him, companies don’t usually want to be represented by ever-so-charming guys who offer to pay for bodily fluids to be thrown at a U.S. senator.

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/463524140238901248

Screen Shot 2014-05-07 at 6.08.13 AM

Mande says he received a tall glass of sparkling shut-your-trap from LaCroix. The letter attributed to LaCroix’s lawyer specifically cites Mande’s political views and “offensive” jokes as a reason why the company is asking him to stop misrepresenting himself its spokesperson.

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/statuses/462371891315871744

Here’s a zoomed-in view of the letter:

lacroix-letter

From Mande:

I’ve received a letter from the cowards at La Croix Water asking me to stop claiming to be their celebrity spokesman. Apparently La Croix is concerned they might lose valuable business from Michelle Malkin-reading, Benghazi-obsessed right wing psychos. You know, that’s fine. But they should know that I’m never drinking LaCroix again. They’ve lost the support of the original and number one #LACROIXBOY: me!

I urge Perrier and/or Polar Seltzer and/or San Pellegrino to hit me up immediately. I’d be happy to endorse their product, provided they have a sense of humor and aren’t total fucking pussies.

Advertisement

Mande is taking the scenic route to Whinesville on the waahhmbulance. Because hardy-har-har comedy something blah.

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/462373129726070784

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/463535546237587456

And he’s bringing a few friends with him:

https://twitter.com/baczor/status/463546762788339712

https://twitter.com/travishelwig/status/463538124488863744

https://twitter.com/DandyYoYo/status/462442589598134274

Advertisement

Maybe some other company will hire Mande?

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/462373790295416833

https://twitter.com/JoeMande/status/462378417715834880

Love hurts.

Related:

Comedian Joe Mande has an indecent proposal involving Ted Cruz

‘Comedian’ Joe Mande goes trolling again: The Tea Party is ‘our Taliban’

Jagoff ‘comedian’ Joe Mande: ‘It would be cool if Ted Cruz got horribly injured’

‘Comedian’ Joe Mande fails at trolling Michelle Malkin with demeaning Photoshop, deletes tweet

Disgraceful: ‘Comedian’ Joe Mande mocks companies tweeting 9/11 tributes

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement