Classy as always. Right, “Benghazi psychos”?

For a while now, comedian Joe Mande’s shtick has been begging his followers to help him land a gig as the spokesman for LaCroix brand sparkling water.

Won't stop until I'm the official spokesperson for La Croix sparking water. @enjoyLaCroix

A photo posted by Joe Mande (@joemande) on

Unfortunately for him, companies don’t usually want to be represented by ever-so-charming guys who offer to pay for bodily fluids to be thrown at a U.S. senator.

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Mande says he received a tall glass of sparkling shut-your-trap from LaCroix. The letter attributed to LaCroix’s lawyer specifically cites Mande’s political views and “offensive” jokes as a reason why the company is asking him to stop misrepresenting himself its spokesperson.

Here’s a zoomed-in view of the letter:


From Mande:

I’ve received a letter from the cowards at La Croix Water asking me to stop claiming to be their celebrity spokesman. Apparently La Croix is concerned they might lose valuable business from Michelle Malkin-reading, Benghazi-obsessed right wing psychos. You know, that’s fine. But they should know that I’m never drinking LaCroix again. They’ve lost the support of the original and number one #LACROIXBOY: me!

I urge Perrier and/or Polar Seltzer and/or San Pellegrino to hit me up immediately. I’d be happy to endorse their product, provided they have a sense of humor and aren’t total fucking pussies.

Mande is taking the scenic route to Whinesville on the waahhmbulance. Because hardy-har-har comedy something blah.

Throwing out all my La Croix swag. #destroylacroix #lacroixboynomore

A photo posted by Joe Mande (@joemande) on

And he’s bringing a few friends with him:

Maybe some other company will hire Mande?

Love hurts.


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