Can I got back to a simpler time, when I had no idea what PIV meant, like yesterday – @BiasedGirl @TabithaHale @lilmissrightie

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— Cameron Gray (@Cameron_Gray) January 3, 2014

Who’s up for a little education, radical feminist-style?

Also, what’s “PIV”?

— RBe (@RBPundit) January 3, 2014

@RBPundit Penis In Vagina

— David West (@Ltfngr) January 3, 2014

Look no further than this incredible piece of … whatever the hell this is:

Craziest thing I've read in a really long time. http://t.co/0AoJG03YZZ

— Allie Lee (@AllieLeela) January 3, 2014

The author of this masterpiece asserts that sexual intercourse between a man and a woman (aka “PIV”) is rape. In fact, it’s always rape. Here’s a peek at her logic:

If we compare this to even the crappiest online definition of violence: “behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something”. Bingo. It fits: Pregnancy = may hurt, damage or kill. Intercourse = a man using his physical force to penetrate a woman. Intention / purpose of the act of intercourse = to cause pregnancy.  PIV is therefore intentional harm / violence. Intentional sexual harm of a man against a woman through penile penetration = RAPE.

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Now, we recommend reading the entire thing, because frankly, there’s no way we can sum up this kind of crazypants for you. But suffice it to say, the gal who wrote it could use some major therapy.

This was written by a very sad, lonely person. http://t.co/HNvArIH6LJ

— Lachlan Markay (@lachlan) January 3, 2014

She makes a lot of good points…… I'm totally kidding. Was she maybe dropped on her head? http://t.co/AOrcvl4meM (h/t @LilMissRightie)

— Kimberly (@conkc2) January 3, 2014

That would certainly explain quite a bit.

I'd think this is satire, but I remember hearing/reading this wacked-out stuff in college: http://t.co/O5dwb5oMWH

— Sean Hackbarth (@seanhackbarth) January 3, 2014

Give this extremely silly person a job at Salon, pronto: http://t.co/XUj0XCKcu9

— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) January 3, 2014

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Someone tell Andrea Dworkin's estate to sue the hell out of this plagiarized stupidity. http://t.co/jhajITOKNF

— ❤️ Jayvie Canono ❤️ (@OneFineJay) January 3, 2014

Unlike Miss Debbie Downer, though, we know how to accentuate the positive:

The good news is that this particular brand of insanity automatically removes itself from the gene pool. http://t.co/Xx2vOwVdCv

— Leon Wolf (@LeonHWolf) January 3, 2014

Excellent point. Plus, there’s plenty of mockery to be had:

Oh noes, she's off the market?? WHAT A LOSS. RT @TabithaHale Craziest thing I've read in a really long time. http://t.co/RrcYnYaVZ1

— Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) January 3, 2014

https://twitter.com/LilMissRightie/status/419128536964661248

That’s quite a feat.

Two takeaways from that article – First, I LOVE the lede in which she said "PIV is rape, ok?" as if it's not even a disputed fact.

— LMR (@LilMissRightie) January 3, 2014

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#BecauseBatshit

— LMR (@LilMissRightie) January 3, 2014

Second, some more sane feminist (oxymoron? probably but I digress…) is going to have to dispute this piece.

— LMR (@LilMissRightie) January 3, 2014

She's doin it wrong. MT @flyoverangel "sexual pleasure with men is… dissociation from the invasion, pain or fear" http://t.co/9iZHxTcQiO”

— Leslie ن (@LADowd) January 2, 2014

Who hasn't cuddled up to Mr. You'll Do For Now and said, "Oppress me baby." @ReneeMBA4

— Kelly (@flyoverangel) January 2, 2014

@LADowd She actually used the word "Heterocage" in a blog. As in"Lock me in your heterocage you beast!" @ReneeMBA4

— Kelly (@flyoverangel) January 2, 2014

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@ReneeMBA4 @flyoverangel My Heterocage has been unoccupied for so long that it's in danger of being condemned.

— Leslie ن (@LADowd) January 2, 2014

FWIW, anyone who refers to sex as "PIV" is probably someone we don't want to procreate.

— Megawatt Herb Drench (@mdrache) January 3, 2014

Also? If your only concept of physical relations between male and female is "PIV", you are, most assuredly, doing it wrong.

— Megawatt Herb Drench (@mdrache) January 3, 2014

She apparently thinks every guy is Tom Hanks in Castaway, standing up and screaming, "I HAVE MADE BABY!!!!"

— Megawatt Herb Drench (@mdrache) January 3, 2014

https://twitter.com/samuelLBS/status/419206576193282048

Love, peace and taco grease, freaks. And remember, no PIV. That's rapey-rape.

— Erin Go Bragh (@deafhurricane) January 3, 2014

@irishspy If it's not PIV is it really rape-rape? @bitmaelstrom

— Rick Sheridan (@RickSheridan) January 3, 2014

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If PIV is always rape, then it's also spermnapping.

— Dr Hugo Hackenbush (@MangyLover) January 3, 2014

?? you down with PIV?? yeah you know me!! ??

— LMR (@LilMissRightie) January 3, 2014

I’ll never look at Jeremy PIVen the same way again

— Cameron Gray (@Cameron_Gray) January 3, 2014

Annnnnd we have a winner:

@ehammonds @RBPundit Ridickulous! The "all PIV = rape" idea is a phallacy.

— WitCoHE (@E__Strobel) January 3, 2014

Hee!

Parting question:

I do wonder if the PIV-rape author reproduces asexually.

— Joe Cunningham (@JoePCunningham) January 3, 2014

We’d rather not think about it.

Editor’s note: This post has been updated with additional tweets.