As Twitchy reported, President Obama and Afghan President Hamid Karzai have decided that the Taliban deserve an “office” in Doha, Qatar. And knowing how strict the Taliban can be, it’s important for future staff to be clear on the rules. Fortunately, some intrepid Twitterers managed to get a hold of the HR manual. Grab your tablets and chisels and copy all this down:

It’s a lot to take in, but with careful attention to detail and good memorization techniques, you could be well on your way to a plum job with the most dynamic company this side of the 11th century!

Just don’t forget to make out your will first.