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CNN's spin on way-too-high gas prices makes for 'the stupidest headline you will read today'

Still feeling an overwhelming sense of dread every time you head to the gas station? That suffocating squeeze as you watch the price counter shoot up really fast compared to the gallon counter?

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Well, just relax. Because, as CNN points out, if you really stop and think about it, you’re actually getting a raise!

In his “analysis,” CNN Business’ Chris Isidore writes:

Since hitting a record of $5.02 a gallon on June 14, the national average price for regular gas is down $1.10, or 22%, to $3.92, according to AAA. That average has now fallen for 67 consecutive days.

Since the typical US household uses about 90 gallons of gas a month, the $1.10 drop in prices equals a savings of $98.82.

A $1 decrease in gas prices equals about $125 billion a year in savings for US households, or more than $10 billion a month, said Mark Zandi, chief economist for Moody’s Analytics. That’s equal to about a half of a percentage point on the nation’s gross domestic product, the broadest measure of economic activity.

The national average is somewhat inflated by states with high prices, such as California, where the average is still $5.33 a gallon. The price there is also down more than a dollar a gallon since the peak.

The median US price stood at $3.76 per gallon as of Thursday, meaning half of the gas stations in the nation are charging less than that. In fact, 28% of the 130,000 gas stations tracked by OPIS are now charging less than $3.50 a gallon.

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If that had been written on stationery, it would probably say “From the Desk of Ronald Klain” at the top.

We can’t, Ryan. Because the odds are pretty damn good that your assessment is totally correct. Why the hell should we be celebrating a median price of $3.76 a gallon? That’s nothing to celebrate. And Californians sure don’t have anything to celebrate. Decreased gas prices due to more and more Americans trying to cut back on driving because they can’t afford gas is nothing to celebrate. Joe Biden depleting the Strategic Petroleum Reserve is nothing to celebrate.

None of this is anything to celebrate. So put away the Champagne and party hats, CNN, and come join us back here in reality.

That … is CNN.

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It sure doesn’t feel like we’ve gotten a $100 a month raise to us … how about you, readers? Does your wallet runneth over?

OK, so yeah. We’re still getting screwed.

Amanda’s being facetious, of course. She knows exactly why. So do we.

Don’t worry, CNN. If you dipsticks all get fired, at least you’ll have that extra $100 in your pockets every month!

***

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