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Oh, the humanity! How can CNN firefighters guard the truth while living under this kind of oppression?

CNN employees get no respect! After a long day (or night) of stirring pots and pushing narratives, they need their gym time. But now, daddy’s taking their luxury gym memberships away:

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More from the Daily Beast:

CNN employees currently pay $110 per month for an Equinox membership that allows them access to all clubs, according to a petition circulated among employees at the network. Per an internal email, however, that discount is set to end on June 30 when WarnerMedia employees switch to the Equinox discount provided to employees of AT&T, which recently acquired WarnerMedia.

Now, according to the CNN petition, network employees in New York will be forced to fork over $238 per month if they want access to the Hudson Yards Equinox branch, near the cable channel’s newly relocated New York City headquarters.

In response, more than 100 CNN and HBO employees have signed multiple petitions that have circulated around both companies calling for WarnerMedia to allow staffers to keep their original Equinox discount.

According to multiple sources, there is a gym available for WarnerMedia employees at the new New York City Hudson Yards HQ, with a $50 fitness plan available. But the major drawback of the gym is that it is closed on weekends, and according to a petition circulated among HBO staff, fitness classes are not included with basic membership.

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Closed on weekends? Fitness classes cost extra? Oh, the humanity!

They take enough abuse from Donald Trump. Must they suffer the indignity of paying full price for a luxury gym membership on top of that?

Well, lifting those heavy firehoses requires a lot of upper-body strength. How are they supposed to beef up their biceps at some lame discount gym that doesn’t even offer free Zumba classes on weekends?!

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