'Isn't socialism amazing?' Jacobin gets some help with their Christmas gift list in 'brutal thread' [pics]

Yesterday, the hardcore socialist Santas at Jacobin tweeted out their idea for the perfect gift for your socialist pal: a digital subscription, of course!

Don't have gifts for your loved ones? Have $5? We can help. https://t.co/zvmyWwHyu8

— Jacobin (@jacobinmag) December 18, 2018

But this tweeter thinks Jacobin really dropped the ball, so he offered up a much more suitable list of socialist gifts for that special someone:

Let me suggest a couple of socialist gifts for you: https://t.co/FEdtW3jO5T

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

Buckle up, folks. This is gonna be good.

This thread though

— Jim Grant (@jamesmgrant) December 18, 2018

Brutal thread https://t.co/ZbUEpkxVjj

— Some chick named Heather (@hboulware) December 19, 2018

“Brutal” is right:

Chicken feet. We called them 'Adidas' in socialist Romania.
'Hey grandma, get your sitting stool and go to the store, there's a rumor they'll bring a truck loaded with Adidas this afternoon'
Everybody knew the delivery truck wasn't bringing athletic shoes. pic.twitter.com/O7SNNYz0tj

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

You can also give your comrades another socialist gift: a pig head,
In socialist Romania people's lingo, that was called 'calculator' pic.twitter.com/wHDr7BAAT4

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

A pack of chewing gum for kids or American cigarettes for adults smuggled at great risk from the West and purchased from the black market were as valuable as their weight in gold pic.twitter.com/02RFt1ZjlB

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

Another gift suggestion for your socialist friends: a Lux soap bar, also smuggled from the West. Its black market value was the equivalent of 3 day wages of a Romanian worker. Isn't socialism amazing? pic.twitter.com/1SRIe7VJ1I

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

Help your socialist friends eat a healthy diet by gifting them beef pancreas. It became trendy in Romanian butcher shops in the 1986-1989 period when not even Adidas and calculators were sold. pic.twitter.com/QAhemvqXaa

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

Since we're talking socialist gifts for Christmas…oops…Winter Holidays, may I suggest an orange. Sold in socialist Romania once a year for one day, you could buy a kilo per person – if you were lucky enough to catch a waiting line at a store before they were sold out pic.twitter.com/6wSU8PoTWw

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

Gift a lighter to your smoking friends! In socialist Romania disposable butane lighters were smuggled from the West and sold on the black market. They were so valuable that once they were emptied they were drilled, a valve installed and re-filled by people making a buck out of it pic.twitter.com/Y9Hv7ddLip

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

A Jerry can would make a superb gift for your socialist friends who drive automobiles. In Romania the monthly gasoline allowance was 5 liters (1 1/4 gallons). Jerry cans were useful if you wanted to save your 6 month to 1 year gas allowance and use it for your vacation trip pic.twitter.com/sUvny54GVs

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

Plastic shopping bags are also a very useful gift for your comrades. The ones printed with foreign companies logos brought from the West through different channels were Romanian people ultimate fashion accessories. They were the Burberry, Lois Vuitton or Chanel bags of socialism pic.twitter.com/rXp7sYkVmo

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

Candy named 'Salon'. Doubled as ornaments for decorating your socialist friends Christma…err Holiday tree. pic.twitter.com/jptmxEfQix

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

For your kids who are the future of socialist America may I suggest a pen box. The fancy ones were imported from China and the lucky Romanian kids who had rich enough parents to afford to buy one were the envy of the class. pic.twitter.com/ZxxNNl4vcM

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

The ultimate in gifting for socialist school children as one of those fancy pen boxes AND a scented pen eraser, also made in China. I remember one classmate trying to eat one, he said despite the nice fragrance it tasted like regular eraser pic.twitter.com/tHrHEFSVYR

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

A banana makes one of the most sought after socialist gifts. Like the oranges, they were only sold one day a year during the Holiday season. Two bananas per person, if you were lucky to find the find which store they were sold and be early enough to catch the front of the line pic.twitter.com/zvAveDTsfz

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018

I hope my suggestions will help @Jacobin staff writers to diversify their list of socialist gifts for the Holidays.
Merry Waiting Breadline Day, comrades!

— RexValachorum's Commie Impalement Services LLC (@RexValllachorum) December 18, 2018